Apparently Towels Are The Biggest Cause Of Dry Skin.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I couldn’t make my mind for a while whether that title was a pun or a fabulous fact.

But it’s Pun Day, so a play on words it is.

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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My uncle works for a company

that makes bicycle wheels.

He’s the Spokesman.

bicycle wheel spokes

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Police, “You’re under arrest for trespassing.”

Me, “On what grounds?”

no trespassing sign

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I know a guy who in his spare time likes to dress up as a knight,

and jump over 20 parked cars on a horse.

I call him Medieval Knievel.

Medieval Knight

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Having fake teeth.

That’ll denture confidence

dentures

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I actually tried plane sailing the other day….

It’s not as easy as it’s made out to be.

cartoon plane sailing

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Why do elephants have big ears?

Because Noddy wouldn’t pay the ransom.

Big Ears

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My wife always gets annoyed when I leave her out.

Especially if it’s raining.

woman in rain

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Arkansas is just Kansas with pirates.

Pirates

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Once when I was in Chicago I did 35 press-ups in a row…

The elevator attendant looked pretty annoyed.

elevator buttons

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I’ve spent my entire life researching the multiples of zero,

my career has amounted to nothing. 

lots of zeros

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I asked my friend the other day, “Where’s your mum from?”

He replied, “Alaska.”

I said, “Don’t worry, I’ll ask her myself.”

Alaska

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I saw a man with a trolley

full of horseshoes and rabbits’ feet earlier,

trying to get it up a hill.

I thought, “He’s pushing his luck.”

horseshoes and rabbits' feet

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Some people say it’s sick and perverted to be a flasher.

I think it shows a lot of balls.

cartoon flasher

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A Zen master once said to me,

“Do the opposite of whatever I tell you.”

So I didn’t.

cartoon zen master

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I was referred to Dr. Dre the other day,

I have to go in for a hip-hoperation.

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Did You Know – It’s Fasab’s February Facts

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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These facts aren’t particularly for February, it just sounded good for the title.

In fact they are just as random as ever so hopefully you may find something of interest.

Enjoy.

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did you know2

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Saturday mail delivery in Canada was eliminated

by Canada Post on February 1, 1969!

Canadapost

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Arnold Schwarzenegger was paid approximately $21,429

for every one of the 700 words he said in,

Terminator 2: Judgement Day.

arnold-schwarzenegger-in-terminator-2

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In Tokyo, a bicycle is faster than a car for

most trips of less than 50 minutes!

Tokyo traffic

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In England, there is still a law on the books

requiring all men older than 14 years old to carry out

2 hours of longbow practice every day.

longbowmen

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Star Wars was originally prefixed

by the definite article ‘The’.

The Star Wars

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In Germany, it is illegal to run out of gas

on an autobahn (highway).

autobahn

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In Australia, it’s illegal to name

any animal you plan to eat.

kangaroos

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Your body is creating and killing 15 million

red blood cells per second!

red-blood-cells

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The king of hearts is the only king without

a moustache on a standard playing card!

king-of-hearts-playing-card

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The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows.

It was the fashion in Renaissance Florence to shave them off!

(Bet you never noticed!)

Mona Lisa

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Every day 20 banks are robbed.

The average take is $2,500!

bank robbery

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Tablecloths were originally meant to be

served as towels with which dinner guests

could wipe their hands and faces after eating!

tablecloth

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The names of Popeye’s four nephews are

Pipeye, Peepeye, Pupeye, and Poopeye!

Popeye's four nephews Pipeye, Peepeye, Pupeye, and Poopeye

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Until the nineteenth century, solid blocks of tea

were used as money in Siberia!

blocks of tea

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There is a sound effect called the Wilhelm Scream

that has been used in over 200 movies and TV shows since 1951

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