It’s Monday And That Means Some More Quiz Show Answers.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s Monday and that means some more quiz show answers.

I can’t make up my mind if they are getting worse every week, but they don’t ever seem to improve much that’s for sure!

Enjoy.

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Q: What hard cheese derives its name from the city of Rome?   

A: Swiss

swiss cheese

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Q: Who are the cartoon mascots of Rice Krispies cereal?           

A: Crispy & Crunch

snap crackle pop

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Q: In religion, the Jehovah’s Witnesses distribute Awake and what other magazine?         

A: MAD

watchtower

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Q: What stock symbol does International Business Machines trade under?          

A: NYB

ibm-logo-3

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Q: What former child actor played the sympathetic Cornelius in the original “Planet of the Apes”?

A: Gary Coleman

Cornelius

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Q: In 1994, what sporting event was canceled due to a player’s strike?    

A: China

new china logo

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Q: What “T” is both an item of underwear and a rising column of warm air?         

A: Turtle

cartoon_turtle

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Q: The name of what ceremony of the installation of a new monarch comes from the Latin for “crown”?   

A: Head           

queen

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Q: Which US state is home to the Boston Symphony Orchestra?

A: Boston

boston map

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Q: What cast member of “The Carol Burnett Show” played the title character on NBC’s “Mama’s Family?” 

A: Mama

mamas family

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Q: Which figure skater was implicated in the 1994 attack on Olympic teammate Nancy Kerrigan? 

A: Monica Lewinsky

Monica Lewinsky

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Q: In nature, most unripe fruit is which color, purple or green?    

A: Plum

cartoon plum

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Q: What was the name of Madonna’s concert tour in 1990?        

A: Blond Tart    

Madonna

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Q: The name of which small, wingless, jumping insect precedes “bite”, “collar”, and “market” to give three familiar terms?

A: Bicycle        

cartoon-flea

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Don’t Call Me A Cannibal! – Oh, oh, We’re In Court Again!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s been a while since I raided the court archives. So here are a few more examples of the level of intelligence you can expect, not only from untrained Joe Public called to give evidence, but from the supposedly highly trained lawyers, supposedly!

Enjoy.

 

 

District Attorney: What happened next, Ma’am?

Witness: He unzipped his pants and pulled out his subpoena.

Judge: Any motions, counsel?

Counsel: I move to dismiss, Your Honor. All my client did was pull out a subpoena. There’s no law against that.

Judge: Counsel, if the witness doesn’t know the difference between a penis and a subpoena that’s her problem. Held to answer!

 

 

 

Judge: If that be your verdict, so say you all

2 Jurors:  “you all”

 

 

 

Judge: Any member of your immediate family or yourself ever been the victim of a crime or robbery?

Juror: My mother had her purse snatched

Judge: How long ago was that?

Juror: Ten, fifteen years ago

Judge: Was she hurt at all in the snatch?

 

 

 

Judge:  What made you bite the police officer?

Witness:  He stuck his arm in my mouth

 

 

 

Q: Were you the lone ranger on duty that night?

A: I was a park ranger on duty that night

Q: I mean the only one, the lone

A: You mean alone?

Q Alone

A: Yes, I was

 

 

 

Q: Do you speak Spanish, Officer?

A: Yes, I do

Q: Are you fluent in Spanish?

A: Yes, I do

 

 

 

Q: Are you being selective about what you remember and what you don’t remember as to the details of your previous record?

A: I don’t remember.

 

 

 

Q: Do you have any problem with the English language?

A: No, I speak very good English.

Q: Great. Do you know Andre?

A: That’s my cousin.

Q: Have you known him all your life?

A: Since we grewed up.

 

 

 

Q: Now, do you recall the date the accident occurred?

A: Yes, sir.

Q: What date was it?

A: It was a hot day in August.

Q: Did you drink any alcohol?

A: No, sir.

Q: Are you a teetotaler?

A: Not really. Just coffee once in a while, like in the morning.

 

 

 

Q: And y’all had a very intimate relationship, didn’t you, Ms. A?

A: We had sex two times. It wasn’t very intimate.

 

 

 

A: Yeah, I used to be around with him a lot. Me and his nephew run together.?

Q: Who is his nephew?

A: Pokey. I think he’s doing time now.

Q: Pokey is Kenny’s nephew and is doing time now? Are you saying Pokey is in the pokey?

A: Yeah.

 

 

 

District Attorney: Defense Counsel is accountable to you (the jury)

Counsel: Judge I object to that. I object to him referring to me as a cannibal, Judge

Judge:  He said accountable

Counsel: A what?

Judge: He said accountable, not a cannibal

Counsel:  It sounded like cannibal to me and I object

It Sounded like cannibal to me

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