“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
Well, if you haven’t guessed already from the title, the year may be new but the puns probably aren’t!
But I figured if we get some of these in early then there’s a chance that the year will improve later.
Strap yourselves in. Here we go.
Does chasing the American Dream not count as exercise?
Protons have mass?
I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
Is Marx’s tomb a communist plot?
I was checking into a hotel the other week.
At the counter, a guy in front of me said curtly to the receptionist, “I hope the porn channel is disabled.”
Unbelievable what some people are into.
I went for a job interview as a blacksmith yesterday.
He said, “Have you ever shoed a horse?”
I said, “No, but I once told a donkey to f*** off.”
I’ll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out,
“Can you all see me now?”
I’ve just taken up speed reading.
Last night I did war and peace in 20 seconds.
I know it’s only 3 words but it’s a start!
I can’t see an end.
I have no control and I don’t think there’s any escape.
I don’t even have a home anymore.
Definitely time for a new keyboard.
“Watch Back to the Future:- Tomorrow, on Yesterday” WTF????
My laboratory assistant has invented a device that allows you to steal other people’s ideas and then permanently delete them from the subject’s memory. Why didn’t I think of that?
I’m always frank with my sexual partners.
Don’t want them knowing my real name, do I?