Perfectly Timed Photos, Part Five

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to another weekend and the final selection of perfectly timed photographs.

Since this is the last in this short series I am going to let the animals have the final word, or the final look might be more accurate.

Below is a mixture of domesticated and wild animals all caught on camera at exactly the right moment in time to produce fascinating and sometimes very funny pictures.

Hope you enjoy this final (for the moment) selection.

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ptp They Fly

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perfectly-timed-photos-part2-11

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Wheres-Waldo

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Three Headed Giraffe

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not a sausage

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dogbrick

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in jail

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invisible dog

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ambition

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dog flap

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toleration

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dear me

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clever dog

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puppy pig

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show me

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whats going on

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donkey smile

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Kung-Fu-Frog-Batam-Island-Indonesia

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slippery

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Perfectly Timed Photos, Part Two

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to part two of this short series of perfectly timed photos, where the click of the camera caught that perfect moment in time.

I would hazard a guess that most of these were taken accidentally, but however they were done the results are good.

Enjoy today’s selection

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ptp donkey

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ptp dreams

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ptp foo

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ptp funny-shot-gone-wrong

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ptp halo

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ptp funnydawg

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ptp Hanging Moon

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ptp Job

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ptp greatlegs

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ptp headless

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ptp just weird

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ptp Horns

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ptp King Kong

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ptp gymnst

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ptp humpty

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A Little Surprise Test For Easter

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Okay, its Easter time again, Semana Santa some call it, so how about taking a little test to see how much you know about it?

Here we go.

Good luck and as usual the answers are given waaaaaaay down below – but NO cheating!

Enjoy.

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Easter Quiz

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Q 1:  On what street in New York does the city’s famous Easter parade take place?

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Q 2:  Which month is the English and German names for Easter or Ostern associated with?

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Q 3:  From which Anglo-Saxon goddess do we derive the name Easter? 

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Q 4:  The Good Friday agreement, signed on Good Friday 1998, is also named after which city? 

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Q 5:  Who was the first person to speak to Jesus after he had risen from the dead?

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Q 6:  Every Easter who gives his ‘Urbi et Orbi’ to the world?

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Q 7:  The customary act of painting what, is known as Pysanka?

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Q 8:  What color was the cloak that Jesus wore when he went to the cross?

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Q 9:  Mardi Gras, Fat Tuesday and Pancake Day are also known as what?

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Q 10:  Name any of the main stars of Easter Parade (1948)?

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Q 11:  Until 1941, from which Asian country were most Easter lilies exported to the United States?          

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Q 12:  The White House Easter Egg Roll was inaugurated by which President’s wife?

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Q 13:  In whose tomb was Jesus buried?

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Q 14:  Which goldsmith produced bejewelled Easter eggs for the Tsars of Russia?

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Q 15:  Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey and was greeted by cheering crowd on which day?           

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Q 16:  Which type of cake is traditionally made at Easter?

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Q 17:  Easter island is a territory of which country?

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Q 18:  In which country do boys traditionally throw buckets of water over girls at Easter time as part of an ancient fertility ritual?  

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ANSWERS

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Q 1:  On what street in New York does the city’s famous Easter parade take place?

A 1:  5th Avenue

Q 2:  Which month is the English and German names for Easter or Ostern associated with?

A 2:  April

Q 3:  From which Anglo-Saxon goddess do we derive the name Easter? 

A 3:  Eostre

Q 4:  The Good Friday agreement, signed on Good Friday 1998, is also named after which city? 

A 4:  The Belfast Agreement

Q 5:  Who was the first person to speak to Jesus after he had risen from the dead?

A 5:  Mary Magdalene

Q 6:  Every Easter who gives his ‘Urbi et Orbi’ to the world?

A 6:  The Pope

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Q 7:  The customary act of painting what, is known as Pysanka?

A 7:  Eggs

Q 8:  What color was the cloak that Jesus wore when he went to the cross?

A 8:  Purple

Q 9:  Mardi Gras, Fat Tuesday and Pancake Day are also known as what?

A 9:  Shrove Tuesday

Q 10:  Name any of the main stars of Easter Parade (1948)?

A 10:  Judy Garland and Fred Astaire

Q 11:  Until 1941, from which Asian country were most Easter lilies exported to the United States?          

A 11:  Japan

Q 12:  The White House Easter Egg Roll was inaugurated by which President’s wife?

A 12:  James Madison (Dolley Madison)

Q 13:  In whose tomb was Jesus buried?

A 13:  Joseph of Arimathea

Q 14:  Which goldsmith produced bejewelled Easter eggs for the Tsars of Russia?

A 14:  Peter Carl Fabergé

Q 15:  Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey and was greeted by cheering crowd on which day?           

A 15:  Palm Sunday

Q 16:  Which type of cake is traditionally made at Easter?

A 16:  Simnel cake

Q 17:  Easter island is a territory of which country?

A 17:  Chile

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Q 18:  In which country do boys traditionally throw buckets of water over girls at Easter time as part of an ancient fertility ritual?  

A 18:  Poland

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I Have Finally Decided On My New Year’s Resolution – It’s 1024 x 768!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

Well, if you haven’t guessed already from the title, the year may be new but the puns probably aren’t!

But I figured if we get some of these in early then there’s a chance that the year will improve later.

Strap yourselves in. Here we go.

Enjoy.

Does chasing the American Dream not count as exercise?

american-dream 

Protons have mass?

I didn’t even know they were Catholic.

protons have mass 

Is Marx’s tomb a communist plot?

Marx tomb 

I was checking into a hotel the other week.

At the counter, a guy in front of me said curtly to the receptionist, “I hope the porn channel is disabled.”

Unbelievable what some people are into.

XXX 

I went for a job interview as a blacksmith yesterday.

He said, “Have you ever shoed a horse?”

I said, “No, but I once told a donkey to f*** off.”

Cartoon_Donkey_by_Airdin 

I’ll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers.

negative numbers 

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out,

“Can you all see me now?”

“Yes.”

“Oui.”

“Sí.”

“Ja.”

English French Spanish German 

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I’ve just taken up speed reading.

Last night I did war and peace in 20 seconds.

I know it’s only 3 words but it’s a start!

Speed Reading 

I can’t see an end.

I have no control and I don’t think there’s any escape.

I don’t even have a home anymore.

Definitely time for a new keyboard.

broken-keyboard 

“Watch Back to the Future:- Tomorrow, on Yesterday” WTF????

Back To The Future 

My laboratory assistant has invented a device that allows you to steal other people’s ideas and then permanently delete them from the subject’s memory. Why didn’t I think of that?

stealing ideas 

I’m always frank with my sexual partners.

Don’t want them knowing my real name, do I?

I'm Frank 

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Presidential Election – As Seen In Taiwan

Hi folks, just a little additional blog post for today. I don’t do this very often, only when I come across something that isn’t really substantial enough for a full post, but which I nevertheless find amusing.

So here is a short video of hos they saw the recent US Presidential Election in Taiwan.

Pity it hadn’t really been like this.

Enjoy!

They Say If You Don’t Know Something You Should Ask – Well……

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Some more questions about those mysteries of life that most of us just seem to accept. It’s a good job that not everyone is so mild mannered.

Enjoy. 
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Why do they call it the ‘Department of Interior’ when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

US Dept Of The Interior Seal.

Why does Jello have a smell when you add the powder in the water, but when it ‘gels’ the smell is gone?

jello.

Why are dogs noses always wet?

dog nose.

If a bee is allergic to pollen would it get the hives?

bee.

Why do people say ‘heads up’ when what you should really do is duck?

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Why is it okay for dudes to slap other dudes’ asses in football, but not in any other situation?

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If one man says, ‘it was an uphill battle’, and another says, ‘it went downhill from there’, how could they both be having troubles?

uphill battle  -  all downhill from here
uphill battle – all downhill from here

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Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

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If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?

Better Business Bureau logo.

If you blew a bubble in space would it pop?

bubble.

How come all of the planets are spherical?

square planet.

How did the first women ever to shave their legs know that the skin wouldn’t just peel right off?

first women to shave their legs.

When a pregnant lady has twins, are there one or two umbilical cords?

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Why doesn’t Winnie the Pooh ever get stung by the bees he messes with?

Winnie the Pooh.

Why do they put holes in crackers?

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Can you still say ‘Put it where the sun don’t shine’ on a nude beach?

nudist beach.

What do people in China call their good plates?

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How come toy hippos are always blue, or purple, when real hippos are brown?

purple hippo.

If an escalator breaks down, does it become stairs?

broken escalator.

Why did they call him Donkey Kong if he is not a donkey?

donkey kong

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Donkey Hokey

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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No, I’m not tilting at windmills, not just yet anyhow. And despite the play on words in the title, nor am I referring to Cervantes character Don Quixote. This post actually does concern a donkey, though. In fact animals in general.

It is a little known fact that donkeys kill more people than plane crashes. And at the end of August I read about a small town Texas mayor who was killed in an attack by his own donkey. He was Bill Bohlke and he was Mayor of Hollywood Park in Atascosa County, Texas.

That unfortunate event set me thinking of a number of things.

First I asked myself how the heck you pronounced his surname.

Then I wondered if Mayor Bohlke was a Republican or Democrat and how macabre it would have been if the donkey had done away with his elephant man rival.

And then I thought about the amazing and different ways people find to leave the mortal coil. I bet, like most of us, the last thing Mayor Bohlke thought was that some day he would meet his end from an attack from a randy donkey!

And then I marveled at how so many people, for no logical reason, have a romantic fantasy notion that animals are not inherently dangerous. They are.

And this is true for people who work with them every day and should know better.

For example, when I was growing up I would spend time at my uncle’s farm. He had a herd of one hundred or more dairy cows and every evening when I was there my cousin and myself would be sent out to the fields to bring the cows in for milking.

We had a couple of great little collie dogs to help us, not that much help was needed because the cows had a routine and once they heard us calling for them they made their way to the field gate and up the lane to the milking parlor, glad no doubt that they were about to be relieved of their burden once more.

With them came the bull. A huge brute of an animal and unbelievably strong. But he was docile enough, walked up with his herd of ‘wives’ and while they made their way into the queue for the milking machines he would usually lie down in the hayshed and munch on some of the hay.

As innocent (dumb) kids we would sometimes sit down beside him, even using him as a prop to lean against. He didn’t seem to mind a bit, we thought he was glad of the company perhaps.

Then one day as the herd was being ushered back out to the fields Mr Bull totally out of the blue decided he would like to kill my uncle.

Luckily us kids had our chore done in bringing the herd in to get milked. When the time came to take them back out again we were engaged on other vital business, I can’t remember exactly what but I’m sure it involved football, playing cowboys and Indians, fending off some galactic foe who was attacking earth that day, or some such vital stuff. But we could hear the commotion in the distance.

Furious about something, only he knew what, the bull roared angrily and ran towards my uncle who had been leading the way. With his head lowered he hit my uncle between his lower back and his knees and threw him up into the air like a rag doll – and my uncle was a BIG man. Very fortunately the bull tossed him into the air with such force that he went clean over the raised fence and hedge on the right hand side of the lane and ended up in one of the fields. 

The crazy bull then tried to go after him but couldn’t get up the steep embankment on which the fence had been constructed. Another cousin, quite a bit older than us, saw the attack. He was in a tractor and he immediately had the presence of mind to use that to take the bull’s attention away from my uncle. The distraction seemed to work, because as suddenly as it had started it was over and things were back to normal.

But my uncle had learned a valuable lesson. Animals can be dangerous.

So had I, even though I wasn’t there at the time, but from then on I haven’t been a fan of bulls – not in Chicago or Wall Street either come to think of it.

Unfortunately Mayor Bohlke wasn’t so lucky with his donkey.

I wonder if it happened something like this???

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