When it comes to charity many people stop at nothing.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


We’re playing with the meanings of words again.

Yes it’s another pun day.




Why do they call it a strip mall

if I’m the only one with my clothes off?

strip mall



They say that all the best ideas will always fit on a beer mat.

Like a beer, for example.

beer mat



When chatting up women, saying “you have beautiful eyes”

is one of the more cornea things to say.

They can see right through it.

beautiful eyes



If you want to see real change…..

Always pay with cash.




My girlfriend keeps telling me that making

clothes based puns is really not funny.

Corset is!

corset cartoon



If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache,

do what it says on the aspirin bottle:

“Take two aspirin” and “Keep away from children.”

aspirin cartoon



Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring?

He decided to stick it out for one more year.




BA has made a statement about flights out of Heathrow:

“I ain’t getting on no plane, fool!”

Mr T



There are 10 types of people in this world.

Those who understand binary and those who don’t.




Why is it so groovy to be a test tube baby?

Because you get a womb with a view.




If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea.

Does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?




Is dancing cheek-to-cheek really a form of floor play?

dancing cheek to cheek



It’s wasn’t that the man did not know how to juggle,

he just didn’t have the balls to do it.




I hate it when I find a piece missing from a jigsaw.

But I love it when I find a piece missing from a jigsaw.





I Have Finally Decided On My New Year’s Resolution – It’s 1024 x 768!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

Well, if you haven’t guessed already from the title, the year may be new but the puns probably aren’t!

But I figured if we get some of these in early then there’s a chance that the year will improve later.

Strap yourselves in. Here we go.


Does chasing the American Dream not count as exercise?


Protons have mass?

I didn’t even know they were Catholic.

protons have mass 

Is Marx’s tomb a communist plot?

Marx tomb 

I was checking into a hotel the other week.

At the counter, a guy in front of me said curtly to the receptionist, “I hope the porn channel is disabled.”

Unbelievable what some people are into.


I went for a job interview as a blacksmith yesterday.

He said, “Have you ever shoed a horse?”

I said, “No, but I once told a donkey to f*** off.”


I’ll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers.

negative numbers 

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out,

“Can you all see me now?”





English French Spanish German 


I’ve just taken up speed reading.

Last night I did war and peace in 20 seconds.

I know it’s only 3 words but it’s a start!

Speed Reading 

I can’t see an end.

I have no control and I don’t think there’s any escape.

I don’t even have a home anymore.

Definitely time for a new keyboard.


“Watch Back to the Future:- Tomorrow, on Yesterday” WTF????

Back To The Future 

My laboratory assistant has invented a device that allows you to steal other people’s ideas and then permanently delete them from the subject’s memory. Why didn’t I think of that?

stealing ideas 

I’m always frank with my sexual partners.

Don’t want them knowing my real name, do I?

I'm Frank