Some More Insurance Claims

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


Today I started to write a blog post about something entirely different. Then I came across another selection of motor insurance claims. I always enjoy these. It is fascinating what the general public can do with the English language. They don’t quite kill it, but they certainly torture it a bit.

Here’s today’s selection.

I hope you enjoy them.



The claimant had collided with a cow.

The questions and answers on the claim form were –

Q: What warning was given by you?

A: Horn.

Q: What warning was given by the other party?

A: Moo.



Who is to Blame?

No one was to blame for the accident but it would never have happened if the other driver had been alert.



I didn’t think the speed limit applied after midnight.



I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.



The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.



I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control.



I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.



On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke.



The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week.



Windshield broke. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo.



No witnesses would admit having seen the mishap until after it happened.



I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way.



The accident happened when the right front door of a car came round the corner without giving a signal.



I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.



I left for work this morning at 7am as usual when I collided straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early.



An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.



I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk.



The accident happened because I had one eye on the truck in front, one eye on the pedestrian, and the other on the car behind.



I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard.



6 thoughts on “Some More Insurance Claims

  1. That voodoo stuff can come into play in so many ways. Meanwhile, if the car manual doesn’t warn against losing control from someone grabbing the driver’s testicles, is that excuse valid? After all, was there a sign on the passengers side warning against grabbing the driver’s testicles?

  2. He is also apparently somebody well trained by the new society; just wait for something to happen, it takes no effort on your part.

    • You could probably blog forever on this particular theme. Personally I haven’t got that much time, but I’ll do what I can. Thanks for the comment.

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