“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
Have you ever had awkward moments when you feel a bit stupider than normal? Thankfully I am not as intellectually challenged as the people who feature in this blog, and, of course, neither are you. But I have had my moments!
For example I have been at serious business meetings in hotels where everybody leaves at the same time. We go outside, say our goodbyes, shake hands – and then we all set off walking in the same direction! FFS!!!
There are lots of others too. Here are just some of the classics.
That awkward moment when someone says “Hello!” and you say “Good thanks!”
(Okay, so there are times I don’t really listen.)
That awkward moment when you don’t know whether you should tell someone they have food wedged between their teeth.
(I always leave that job to someone else.)
That awkward moment when you notice someone’s zipper is down but you don’t want to say anything because you don’t have a good excuse for why you were looking there in the first place.
(So many euphemisms for this one. The awkward bit is when you are talking to someone so dumb they can’t take the hint.)
That awkward moment when you’re trying to get over someone you weren’t even dating.
(This actually did happen to a friend of mine, the dork!)
That awkward moment when you don’t know if you should hug someone or not.
(Americans are huggers, continental Europeans are kissers on both cheeks, but the British find the whole idea repulsive and usually recoil in terror – awkward or what?)
That awkward moment when you try to exit through a closed glass door.
(I’ve posted videos about this one – very funny when it happens to other people.)
That awkward moment when you pull the push door even though it’s clearly signed.
(I’ve done this one, happens a lot if you are preoccupied with other things.)
That awkward moment when someone asks you how far along you are, and you are not pregnant.
That awkward moment when someone asks when your baby is due and you had your baby two years ago.
That awkward moment when you don’t know which arm rest is yours at the cinema.
(Or which cup holder to stick your drink in. Is there a rule? They haven’t told me??)
That awkward moment when you get stuck in a bean bag.
(Never a bean bag, but got stuck in a leather chair once, maybe blog about that one.)
That awkward moment when you arrive at the party and see someone else wearing the same dress.
(Personally I don’t wear dresses, but I can see how it might be awkward.)
That awkward moment when you’re singing Happy Birthday but you don’t know the name of the person so you just mumble the name part.
(Semi-pro at this one.)
That awkward moment when you’re talking to someone but you can’t remember their name, so you try to avoid introducing them to the person you’re with.
(Gold medalist if this was an Olympic sport.)
That awkward moment when you try to sneak a photo of someone but the flash goes off.
(You’d have to know how to work the camera on your phone for this one.)
That awkward moment when you realize you’ve kept talking after the call dropped out.
(Since the arrival of cell phones who hasn’t had this one happen at least once?)
That awkward moment when unexpected visitors arrive at 11am and you’re still in your PJ’s.
(Haven’t done this one yet, I just wouldn’t let them in.)
That awkward moment when you see someone that looks like someone you know, and you scream their name, and it’s not them.
(Well maybe not scream, but I have got names mixed up once or twice.)