Fasab’s Fascinating Festive Facts

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


Hi, and welcome to fasab’s fascinating festive facts.

Everything on my blog this week is in Christmas mode including these tidbits of information that you may be able to work into the conversation if you are at a party or two this week.

Enjoy and have a very Merry Christmas.


festive facts


The traditional three colors of Christmas

are green, red, and gold.

Green has long been a symbol of life and rebirth;

red symbolizes the blood of Christ,

and gold represents light as well as wealth and royalty.

traditional three colors of Christmas



The first printed reference to a

Christmas tree was in 1531 in Germany.




Apparently seven out of ten British dogs

get Christmas gifts from their doting owners.

dogs get Christmas gifts



A lot of people don’t like it,

but the abbreviation of ‘Xmas’ for

Christmas is not irreligious.

The first letter of the word Christ in Greek is chi,

which is identical to our X.

Xmas was originally an ecclesiastical abbreviation

that was used in tables and charts.

Xmas for Christmas



Electric Christmas lights

were first used in 1854.




Some people who were born on December 25

feel hard done by because they have to

make do with one present instead of two

and share their big day celebrations with everybody else.

Robert Louis Stevenson, author of Treasure Island,

recognized the problem. When he died on December 4, 1894,

he willed his November 13 birthday to a friend

who disliked her own Christmas birthday

Robert Louis Stevenson Treasure Island



Franklin Pierce was the first president to

decorate an official White House Christmas tree.




Silent Night was written in 1818,

by Austrian priest Joseph Mohr.

He was told the day before Christmas

that the church organ was broken

and would not be repaired in time for Christmas Eve.



Artificial Christmas trees

have outsold real ones since 1991.

Artificial Christmas tree



In the British armed forces it is traditional

that officers wait on the other ranks

and serve them their Christmas dinner.

This dates back to a custom from the Middle Ages.

British armed forces Christmas dinner



Long before mistletoe became a saucy ‘kiss encourager’,

it was considered to have magic powers.

It was said to have the ability to heal

wounds and increase fertility.

Celts hung mistletoe in their homes

in order to bring themselves good luck

and ward off evil spirits.




Each year there are approximately 20,000

“rent-a-Santas” across the United States.

“Rent-a-Santas” usually undergo seasonal training

on how to maintain a jolly attitude

under pressure from the public.

They also receive practical advice,

such as not accepting money from parents

while children are looking and

avoiding garlic, onions, or beans for lunch.




In Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea,

your age is measured not in years

but in how many Christmases you’ve lived through;

you’re not 20, you’re twenti krismas.

Rather less charmingly,

the Japanese expression to describe

single women over 25 years old is

kurisumasu keiki – left-over Christmas cake.




Most of Santa’s reindeer have male-sounding names,

such as Blitzen, Comet, and Cupid.

However, male reindeers shed their antlers around Christmas,

so the reindeer pulling Santa’s sleigh

are likely not male, but female –  or castrati.  

(I wonder if that is the origin of hanging balls

on a Christmas tree comes from?)

Santa’s reindeer



The popular Christmas song “Jingle Bells”

was actually written for Thanksgiving.

The song was composed in 1857 by James Pierpont,

and was originally called “One Horse Open Sleigh”.






Welcome To A Bumper Seasonal Edition Of Puns For The Holidays

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


This week I have a bumper seasonal selection of word plays or puns that are all about or related to the Christmas Holiday Season. Some of them will sleigh you!

They aren’t any better or worse than normal, just themed.

And please don’t say they themed better last week!!!


Doing puns is my stocking trade at this time of year…


Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?

Because he had low elf esteem.

low elf esteem

What would you get if you ate the Christmas decorations?



What did the salt say to the pepper at Christmas?

Season’s Greetings.

santa salt pepper shakers

What do monkeys sing at Christmas time?

“Jungle bells, jungle bells, jungle all the way.”

jungle bells

Why did they ask the turkey to join the band?

Because he had the drum sticks.

turkey drumsticks

What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?

Thanks, I’ll never part with it!

bald man comb over

A man walks into a diner desiring breakfast.

The waitress seats him and he asks what the specials are.

She tells him the Christmas special is Eggs Benedict.

He orders the special.

A little later, the waitress comes out with the Eggs Benedict, served on hubcaps.

Surprised, he asks why the hubcaps instead of regular plates?

Her response?

“There’s no plates like chrome for the Hollandaise.”

Dave's diner

If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?

Missle toe!

Missle-Toe cartoon!

What is Santa’s primary language?

North Polish.

polish santa claus

Is Christmas the one day of the year we can all say our children are truly gifted!

Cartoon kids Christmas gifts

What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an iPad?

A pineapple.

cartoon pineapple

Why does Santa like to go down chimneys?

Because it soots him!

sooty Santa

Won’t all that soot make him sick? No. He’s had his flue shot.

cartoon doctor

What famous playwright was intimidated by Christmas?

Noel Coward

Noel Coward cartoon

How do sheep in Spain say Merry Christmas?

Fleece Navidad!

fleece navidad

“Wouldn’t just gold and frankincense do?” the third wise man demurred.


Why do you have to make sure the fire is out for Santa Claus coming down the chimney?

Coz if you didn’t you’d end up with a Crisp Cringle?

santa fire in chimney cartoon

What is a computer nerd’s favorite hymn?

Oh, .com all ye faithful!


Why wasn’t the turkey hungry at Christmas time?

Because he was stuffed.


Once there was a Tsar in Russia whose name was Rudolph the Great.

One day as he was standing in his house with his wife he looked out the window and saw something happening.

He says to his wife, “Look honey. It’s raining.” 

She, being the obstinate type, responded, ”I don’t think so, dear. I think it’s snowing.” 

But Rudolph knew better. So he says to his wife, ”Let’s step outside and we’ll find out.” 

Lo and behold, they step outside and discover it was in fact rain.

So Rudolph turns to his wife and says, ”I knew it was raining. Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!”

Russian Tsar

If you don’t believe in Xmas parties do you still remain eggnogstic?


When the innkeeper’s assistant told Joseph there was no room at the Inn, he said “I’d like to see the manger.”

Joseph at the Inn

I was fed up by the time I got to my last present so I wrapped it up.

wrapping present

Are people who are afraid of Santa Claus-trophobic?


Oh, like I hadn’t heard that old chestnut before.

roasting chestnuts

“Why don’t we ever hear about ‘Olive,’ the 10th reindeer?” asked Bert.

“What 10th Reindeer?” asked Scott.

“You know. Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names.”


Scrooge loves all the male reindeer, because every buck is dear to him.

mister scrooge magoo

What do you call Santa’s helpers?

Subordinate Clauses.


Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel.

Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor.

Which one picked it up?

Santa of course, because the other two don’t exist!


Then there was the golfer who played on Christmas and hit a birdie. It was a partridge on a par 3.


The garden center got all spruced up to sell Christmas trees.

Christmas trees

This is not fir I can’t think of any more.


What is there left to say except have a Happy Holly Day.

Holly crown with red bow