A Few Friday Funnies.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Last week we had a few political jokes.

This week we are having a look at some of the things political jokes have said when they were trying (in vain) to sound smart.

Try to forget that these are the idiots who are running the country and instead….

Enjoy .

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President Richard Nixon

“This is a great day for France!”

President Richard Nixon at

French President Charles de Gaulle’s funeral.

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Senator John McCain

Senator John McCain in his presidential run:

“I was in Germany over the weekend and

President Putin of Germany gave

one of the old Cold War speeches as

he addressed the conference there.”

Walter-Hickel

Alaska Gov. Walter Hickel once justified a

plan to kill hundreds of wolves by saying,

“You just can’t let nature run wild.”

Vice-President-Dan-Quayle

“Desert Storm was a stirring victory for

the forces of aggression and lawlessness.”

Vice President Dan Quayle

Les Aspin, secretary of defense

“We will not close any bases that are not needed.”

Les Aspin, secretary of defense

President Clinton

“I would never approach a small-breasted woman.”

President Clinton, denying that he

had sexually harassed Kathleen Willey.

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Frances Sissy Farenthold

“I am working for the time when unqualified

blacks, browns and women join the unqualified

men in running the government.”

Frances “Sissy” Farenthold, Texas state representative

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Tom Daschle

“This isn’t rocket science here.”

Tom Daschle, U.S. senator from South Dakota,

denouncing spending on space-based missile defense

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michael steele

”We need to uptick our image with everyone,

including one-armed midgets.”

Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele

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Jerry Falwell

“Grown men should not be having sex with

prostitutes unless they are married to them.”

Jerry Falwell

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Ronald Reagan

“Trees cause more pollution than automobiles.”

Ronald Reagan

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Rick Perry

“You can always follow me on Tweeter.”

Rick Perry

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Michele Bachmann

“Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful.

But there isn’t even one study

that can be produced that shows

that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.”

Rep. Michele Bachmann

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Sarah Palin

“But obviously, we’ve got to stand

with our North Korean allies.”

Sarah Palin

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al-gore-2

“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment.

It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”

Al Gore, Vice President

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The Quadling Country Quiz!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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You will find out what the title means later in the quiz.

For now get your thinking caps on and have a go at the following twenty questions in this week’s fasab quiz.

As always, if you get stuck, you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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quiz01

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Q.  1:  The terms ‘curd’ and ‘whey’ are associated with making what?

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Q.  2:  Which species of animal contains the most poisonous animal in the world?

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Q.  3:  Which two metals are used to make pewter?

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Q.  4:  What two fruits grow on palms? (A point for each correct answer and a bonus point if you are able to name both correctly.)

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Q.  5:  What would you use ‘Archimedes’ Screw’ for?

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Q.  6:  Amino acids are essential for the formation of what in the body?

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Q.  7:  What can dogs do that wolves cannot?

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Q.  8:  A ‘canton’, ‘halyard’ and ‘field’ make up what item?

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Q.  9:  What are the two largest fruit crops on earth? (A point for each correct answer and a bonus point if you are able to name both correctly.)

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Q. 10:  Which chemical has the symbol ‘CL’?

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Q. 11:  Who wrote the famous book ‘Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire’?

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Q. 12:  Ireland is divided into two political entities, the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland, how many counties comprise each part? (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q. 13:  In what sport can you score a ‘waza-ari’, ‘ippon’ and ‘yuko’?

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Q. 14:  The Knesset is the legislature of which country?

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Q. 15:  What landlocked sea is 422m (1385ft) below sea level?

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Q. 16:  Which monarch observed “L’etat, c’est moi”? (The language should give you a clue.)

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Q. 17:  Where is the Yas Marina Motor Racing Circuit?

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Q. 18:  The name was mentioned in the news a lot towards the end of 2014, which war was fought by Britain, France, Turkey and Piedmont against Russia between 1853 and 1856?

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Q. 19:  In what land are ‘Quadling Country’, ‘Winkie Country’ and ‘Gillkin Country’ to be found?

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Q. 20:  Which singer was ‘sailing’ in 1975?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  The terms ‘curd’ and ‘whey’ are associated with making what?

A.  1:  Cheese.

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Q.  2:  Which species of animal contains the most poisonous animal in the world?

A.  2:  Frogs.

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Q.  3:  Which two metals are used to make pewter?

A.  3:  Tin and Lead.

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Q.  4:  What two fruits grow on palms? (A point for each correct answer and a bonus point if you are able to name both correctly.)

A.  4:  Coconuts and dates.

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Q.  5:  What would you use ‘Archimedes’ Screw’ for?

A.  5:  Lifting water to a higher level

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Q.  6:  Amino acids are essential for the formation of what in the body?

A.  6:  Proteins.

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Q.  7:  What can dogs do that wolves cannot?

A.  7:  Bark.

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Q.  8:  A ‘canton’, ‘halyard’ and ‘field’ make up what item?

A.  8:  A flag.

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Q.  9:  What are the two largest fruit crops on earth? (A point for each correct answer and a bonus point if you are able to name both correctly.)

A.  9:  Grapes, followed by bananas.

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Q. 10:  Which chemical has the symbol ‘CL’?

A. 10:  Chlorine.

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Q. 11:  Who wrote the famous book ‘Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire’?

A. 11:  Edward Gibbon. (You may have the point if you gave the surname only.)

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Q. 12:  Ireland is divided into two political entities, the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland, how many counties comprise each part? (A point for each correct answer.)

A. 12:  The Republic of Ireland has 26 counties and Northern Ireland 6.

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Q. 13:  In what sport can you score a ‘waza-ari’, ‘ippon’ and ‘yuko’?

A. 13:  Judo.

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Q. 14:  The Knesset is the legislature of which country?

A. 14:  Israel.

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Q. 15:  What landlocked sea is 422m (1385ft) below sea level?

A. 15:  The Dead Sea.

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Q. 16:  Which monarch observed “L’etat, c’est moi”? (The language should give you a clue.)

A. 16:  Louis XIV.

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Q. 17:  Where is the Yas Marina Motor Racing Circuit?

A. 17:  Abu Dabi.

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Q. 18:  The name was mentioned in the news a lot towards the end of 2014, which war was fought by Britain, France, Turkey and Piedmont against Russia between 1853 and 1856?

A. 18:  The Crimean War.

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Q. 19:  In what land are ‘Quadling Country’, ‘Winkie Country’ and ‘Gillkin Country’ to be found?

A. 19:  The Land of Oz, from The Wonderful Wizard Of Oz.

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Q. 20:  Which singer was ‘sailing’ in 1975?

A. 20:  Rod Stewart.

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Did You Know? – Prepare To Increase Your Knowledge Base.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to another fact day and a list of very random things that certainly will increase your knowledge base, if you can remember them.

The only way to find out is to read on.

Enjoy.

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did you know1

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The first explorers who discovered the West Indies

thought it was Southeast Asia.

map West Indies

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At Disney there used to be paint brushes

hidden on Tom Sawyer island

and if you found one,

you could present it to the barge driver and

you and your party would get golden Fast Passes.

paint brushes hidden on Tom Sawyer island

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If the average male never shaved,

his beard would be 13 feet long when he died.

long beard

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Sorry to bust a much believed myth,

but sugar does not actually make you hyper,

the whole idea of a “sugar rush” is not real,

in fact, according to recent science from Yale University

it’s all just a placebo effect.

sugar rush myth

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Cracking your knuckles won’t lead to arthritis

cracking-knuckles

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The Chernobyl disaster region has become

one of the world’s most unique wildlife sanctuaries

with thriving populations of wolves, deer,

beavers, eagles, and other animals.

Chernobyl wildlife sanctuary wolf

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Pamphlet comes from the title of a Latin love poem called Pamphilus

that was supposedly passed from person to person

Pamphilus

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A cubic inch of bone is about

four times as strong as concrete.

bone smashing concrete

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The 8 lane, 26 mile long Qingdao Bridge in China

cost 14.8 billion yuan to build

but gets almost no traffic.

The-Jiaozhou-Bay-Bridge-1

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Napoleon was actually taller than the average Frenchman

napoleon height

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Not only is Reno, Nevada, west of Los Angeles,

but so are six other state capitals.

map north america

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William McKinley almost always wore

a red carnation on his lapel as a good luck charm.

While greeting a line of people in 1901, 

he gave the flower to a little girl.

Seconds later, he was shot by an assassin,

and died eight days later.

William McKinley

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Buck, the slang term for an American dollar

comes from the fact that on the American frontier

deerskins were used as units of commerce.

American dollar

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The coldest inhabited place on earth is Oymyakon, Russia,

where sometimes the temperature drops

below freezing in mid September and stays there until May.

The average temperature in January is -46 °C.

The village has a population of less than 500 people.

oymyakon-coldest-village-on-earth-amos-chapple-04

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Hacky-sack was invented in Turkey.

Hacky-sack

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Stupidity Always Finds A Way – Out Of A Politician’s Mouth!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I have a healthy contempt for politicians and bureaucrats as you’ve probably gathered if you’ve read much of this blog. And it’s well justified.

I could relate some stories to emphasize my point, but actually I don’t have to. The politicians themselves have proved it themselves. Here’s a short selection to show you what I mean.

Enjoy

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Hillary Clinton:

“We are the president.”

Hillary Clinton

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Al Gore, former U.S. Vice President:

“I invented the internet.”

Al Gore

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Bob Dole, former Republican United States Senate Majority Leader from Kansas:

“Life is very important to Americans.”

Bob Dole

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President Richard Nixon at French President Charles de Gaulle’s funeral:

“This is a great day for France!”

Richard Nixon

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Barack Obama at a campaign event in Beaverton, Oregon:

“I’ve now been in 57 states – I think one left to go.”

Barack Obama

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Alaska Gov. Walter Hickel once justified a plan to kill hundreds of wolves by saying:

“You just can’t let nature run wild.”

Walter Hickel

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Strom Thurmond, U.S. senator from South Carolina:

“The U.S. Senate is a special place. I love all of you and especially your wives.”

Strom Thurmond

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Vice President Dan Quayle:

“Desert Storm was a stirring victory for the forces of aggression and lawlessness.”

Dan Quayle

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California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger:

“I don’t understand how they can call me anti-Latino when I’ve made four movies in Mexico.”

Arnold Schwarzenegger

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Frances “Sissy” Farenthold, Texas state representative:

“I am working for the time when unqualified blacks, browns and women join the unqualified men in running the government.”

Frances Farenthold

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Miriam “Ma” Ferguson, Texas governor:

“If the King’s English was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me.”

Miriam Ferguson

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Tom Daschle, U.S. senator from South Dakota, denouncing spending on space-based missile defense:

“This isn’t rocket science here.”

Tom Daschle

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Larry Koon, South Carolina state representative:

“Women are best suited for secretarial work, decorating cakes and counter sales, like selling lingerie.”

Larry Koon, South Carolina state representative
Mr Koon’s face has been removed from this post for his own safety in light of these remarks

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Jay Dickey Jr., U.S. representative from Arkansas:

“I think incest can be handled as a family matter within the family.”

Jay Dickey Jr

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Jerry Brown, former Governor of California:

“We’re going to move left and right at the same time.”

Jerry Brown, former Governor of California

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Excerpt from Bill Clinton’s grand jury testimony:

“It depends on what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is” –

president bubba clinton

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