They Give Answers To Questions, It’s Just That They Aren’t The Answers To The Questions They’ve Been Asked!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Monday again and that means another selection of the answers given by those members of the public who imagine themselves good enough to win prizes on television and radio quiz shows.

Howard?  Oh boy!

Enjoy.

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Q: In the traditional version of The Lord’s Prayer, what “H,” meaning sanctified, goes before “thy name”

A: Howard        

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Q: What island nation was the book Hiroshima written about?     

A: Iwo Jima

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Q: What October holiday celebrates the discovery of America?  

A: Thanksgiving

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Q: Who played Austin Powers in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me?     

A: Austin Powers

Q: On TV’s “The Simpsons”, Homer’s neighbor, Ned, had what last name?          

A: Barfbag

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Q: According to legend, who rode naked through the streets of Coventry to protest high taxes?  

A: Benjamin Franklin

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Q: The Sea-Tac airport in Washington is named after the city of Seattle and what other city?        

A: Washington

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Q: What “F” are ice crystals formed by condensation on surfaces below freezing?          

A: Icicles         

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Q: The Nuremberg war crime trials were held in what country?     

A: Warsaw

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Q: What surname was shared by a historical outlaw named “Butch” and a fictional cowboy named “Hopalong?”    

A: Lesbian        

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Q: In science, which William discovered that blood circulates around the body?  

A: Shatner

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Q: What “T” are people who live in a house paying rent to a landlord?     

A: Terrorists

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Q: What was the last state to join the USA?       

A: Canada

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Q: What insect is normally found hovering above lakes?

A: Crocodiles    

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Q: In his 1961 number one UK single “Wooden Heart,” Elvis sings in English and which other European language?           

A: English

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Q: Which letter of the alphabet sounds exactly the same as the term for a female sheep?

A: Baa 

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Q: In human development, what “B” is the usual 4-letter word for a newborn infant?         

A: Wasp

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Q: In superstition, people salute which black and white bird when it is seen alone?          

A: Penguin

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Q: In human anatomy, the umbilicus is a scar in the center of the abdomen that is more commonly known by what five-letter name? 

A: Button

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Q: The term ‘Rubenesque’ derives from which 17th Century artist?           

A: Aretha Franklin

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Okay, Enough Of The Presidential Nonsense – Time To Get Serious!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, if the election didn’t make you groan, here’s your chance.

Its bad joke pun day!

Enjoy them if you can.  

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It wasn’t school John disliked it was just the principal of it.

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A toothless termite walked into a tavern and said, “Is the bar tender here?”

termite .

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An electrician is a bright spark who knows what’s watt.

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Women who wear $200.00 perfume obviously are known to have no common scents.

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Did you hear about the fire at the circus? The heat was in tents.

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A baker stopped making donuts after he got tired of the hole thing.

donut cartoon .

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Communism first took off in the insect kingdom when a wary wasp joined the cagey bee.

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In the winter my dog wears his coat,

but in the summer he wears his coat and pants.

 Dog panting.

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Did you hear about the raisin that wined about how he couldn’t achieve grapeness.

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Opening a new funeral parlor can be quite an undertaking.

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I tend to avoid funerals, I’m not really a mourning person.

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The grammarian was never late. In fact he was always very punctual.

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I dropped out of my communism class because of lousy Marx.

 Obama-Marx cartoon.

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I finished my trigonometry exam without a secant to lose.

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To many girls the word ‘marriage’ has a nice ring to it.

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Those who stare at the moon are optimists.

They only look at the bright side.

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Tennis players don’t marry because Love means Nothing to them.

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Can Napoleon return to his place of birth?

Of Corsican.

 Napoleon cartoon.

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