Movies, Music And Murder In Today’s Quiz.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, movies, music and murder all appear in today’s quiz.

Lots of other subjects too.

And as usual, if you get stuck, you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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puzzle, test, exam. quiz, assessment

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Q.  1:  Who was assassinated at the theater by John Wilkes Booth?

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Q.  2:  What is the most abundant substance found in the plant kingdom?

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Q.  3:  What well known city in the Far East is known as ‘The Lion City’ ?

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Q.  4:  Who discovered the law that the volume of a given mass of gas at a constant temperature is inversely proportional to its pressure?

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Q.  5:  What type of creature is a Pacific sea wasp?

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Q.  6:  Which of Napoleon’s victories had a chicken dish named after it?

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Q.  7:  In which country is the port of Fray Bentos?

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Q.  8:  What was the name of the English galleon best known for her circumnavigation of the globe between 1577 and 1580, captained by Sir Francis Drake?

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Q.  9:  English novelist John Meade Falkner, not to be confused with the famous American author John Faulkner, published three novels. ‘The Nebuly Coat’ was one of them, you get a point for each of the other two you can name correctly and two bonus points if you get both of them correct.

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Q. 10:  What are the only two numbers on a dartboard to lie between two odd ones?

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Q. 11:  What wind is a warm southerly coming from the Sahara Desert over the Mediterranean?

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Q. 12:  What is the largest flat fish species?

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Q. 13:  Which Washington D.C. born oscar-winning actress wrote ‘A Lotus Grows in the Mud’ ?

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Q. 14:  Kareem Abdul-Jabbar played 20 seasons in which sport?

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Q. 15:  What item of clothing was named after its Scottish inventor?

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Q. 16:  On which continent would you find the world’s most ancient forest?

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Q. 17:  Bray Studios, near Windsor in Berkshire, England was home to which famous brand of horror films? 

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Q. 18:  Which kind of flower bulbs were once exchanged as a form of currency?

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Q. 19:  Name the three primary colors.

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Q. 20:  What was the name of the song performed by Eton John, a revised version of which became a mega-hit after being sung live by Elton at Princess Diana’s funeral? A bonus point if you can also correctly name the sub-title given to the latter version.

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  Who was assassinated at the theater by John Wilkes Booth?

A.  1:  Abraham Lincoln.

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Q.  2:  What is the most abundant substance found in the plant kingdom?

A.  2:  Cellulose.

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Q.  3:  What well known city in the Far East is known as ‘The Lion City’ ?

A.  3:  Singapore.

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Q.  4:  Who discovered the law that the volume of a given mass of gas at a constant temperature is inversely proportional to its pressure?

A.  4:  Robert Boyle.

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Q.  5:  What type of creature is a Pacific sea wasp?

A.  5:  It is a Jellyfish.

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Q.  6:  Which of Napoleon’s victories had a chicken dish named after it?

A.  6:  Marengo.

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Q.  7:  In which country is the port of Fray Bentos?

A.  7:  In the South American country Uruguay.

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Q.  8:  What was the name of the English galleon best known for her circumnavigation of the globe between 1577 and 1580, captained by Sir Francis Drake?

A.  8:  It was the Golden Hind or Golden Hinde.

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Q.  9:  English novelist John Meade Falkner, not to be confused with the famous American author John Faulkner, published three novels. ‘The Nebuly Coat’ was one of them, you get a point for each of the other two you can name correctly and two bonus points if you get both of them correct.

A.  9:  They are ‘The Lost Stradivarius’ and ‘Moonfleet’.

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Q. 10:  What are the only two numbers on a dartboard to lie between two odd ones?

A. 10:  3 and 19 (there is a run of four odd numbers around the bottom – 17,3,19,7, nowhere else is there a run of more than 2 consecutive odd or even numbers).

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Q. 11:  What wind is a warm southerly coming from the Sahara Desert over the Mediterranean?

A. 11:  Sirocco.

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Q. 12:  What is the largest flat fish species?

A. 12:  Halibut.

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Q. 13:  Which Washington D.C. born oscar-winning actress wrote ‘A Lotus Grows in the Mud’ ?

A. 13:  Goldie Hawn.

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Q. 14:  Kareem Abdul-Jabbar played 20 seasons in which sport?

A. 14:  Basketball.

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Q. 15:  What item of clothing was named after its Scottish inventor?

A. 15:  A mackintosh.

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Q. 16:  On which continent would you find the world’s most ancient forest?

A. 16:  In Australia specifically Daintree Forest, north of Cairns.

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Q. 17:  Bray Studios, near Windsor in Berkshire, England was home to which famous brand of horror films? 

A. 17:  Hammer Horror.

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Q. 18:  Which kind of flower bulbs were once exchanged as a form of currency?

A. 18:  Tulips.

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Q. 19:  Name the three primary colors.

A. 19:  Red, yellow and blue.

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Q. 20:  What was the name of the song performed by Eton John, a revised version of which became a mega-hit after being sung live by Elton at Princess Diana’s funeral? A bonus point if you can also correctly name the sub-title given to the latter version.

A. 20:  It was ‘Candle in the wind’. For your bonus point the sub-title for the revised version was ‘Goodbye England’s Rose’.

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Why Is Luke Always Warm?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I hope you are keeping warm too.

Warm enough to Luke at a few more word plays because it’s Pun Day again.

You know what’s next…

Enjoy or endure!.

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rofl

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Just been to Greenwich in London.

Had a mean time.

London-Greenwich_Mean_Time

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There’s something I don’t like

about using touch screen technology

I just can’t put my finger on it.

touch screen technology

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I’ve just been offered

a free sky diving experience.

I’m not falling for it.

sky diving

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‘It’s the quiet ones that you’ve got to watch’

Especially at mime shows.

mime shows

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My new bulimia charity campaign

has been quite successful.

I’ve received a lot of feedback.

bulimia girl

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What do you call

an Indian in a cupboard?

A hiding Sikh.

sikh park 6

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What is a cocaine addicts

favorite type of joke?

A one liner

one line of coke

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Shotgun wedding:

A case of wife or death.

Shotgun wedding

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A French man walks in to a chiropodists and says

“I’ve got problems with defeat”

feet

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I’ve started dating couches,

but I’ve had no luck sofa.

sofa

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It’s hard to say what my sister does,

working for a travel agency.

She sells Seychelles overseas tours.

working for a travel agency

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I always get back on my bike when I fall off.

I’m a firm believer in recycling.

get back on my bike

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My friend, Angus finds it funny

not to pronounce the letter ‘g’.

Bit of an asshole really.

angus

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I had a dream last night that

our local Market had shrunk.

I woke up and thought,

“That’s a little Bazaar.”

a little Bazaar

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I just came back from a Blur concert.

I didn’t see much.

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End September With Some Facts.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Indeed, what better way to end the month of September than with another random selection of facts.

I’m sure there are at least a few things in this lot that you didn’t know.

Enjoy.

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facts 04

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There are more than 100,000 chemical reactions

happening in your brain every second.

chemical reactions happening in your brain

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The first machine-made chocolate was

produced in Barcelona, Spain, in 1780.

machine-made chocolate

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A blue whale´s tongue alone

can weigh as much as a single adult elephant

which gives you an indication of the size of the former.

blue-whale-tongue-n-elephant

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About 275 million new stars are born everyday.

275 million new stars are born everyday

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Ohio lawyer Clement Vallandigham

managed to shoot himself in a court room in 1871

while demonstrating to a jury how his client’s

alleged murder victim had actually shot himself.

Apparently no one checked the gun.

Clement Vallandigham

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The Chinese language (Mandarin/Cantonese)

has about 50,000 characters.

To read a newspaper you would

need to know about 2,000 of them.

Chinese language

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Gum is not sold in any Disney Park.

disneyland_map

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The word ‘Lukewarm’ is actually a redundancy.

‘Luke’ meant ‘warm’ in Middle English

so ‘lukewarm’ technically would mean ‘warm warm’.

lukewarm

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The most remote island in the world

is the uninhabited Bouvet Island

which lies somewhere between

Antarctica and Tristan de Cunha.

Bouvet Island Location

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Did you know that dolphins are so smart that,

within a few weeks of captivity,

they can train people to stand on the

very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

feeding-dolphins

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‘Linn’s Stamp News’ is the world’s largest

weekly newspaper for stamp collectors.

Linn's Stamp News

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The little lump of flesh just forward of your ear canal,

right next to your temple, is called a ‘tragus’.

tragus

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The United States has never lost a war

in which mules were used.

army mule

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Will Clark of the Texas Rangers is a direct descendant

of William Clark of Lewis and Clark.

Will Clark Rangers Photocard

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Running from 1972 through 1983, M*A*S*H*

was one of the most successful shows on television ever.

It won 8 Golden Globe awards,

14 Primetime Emmy awards,

the 1976 Peabody award

and was the People’s Choice winner

for Favorite TV Comedy five times.

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I’ll Never Predict The Future.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Except to predict that you are about to read another selection of those plays on words we call puns.

You’ve come too far to stop now, so you might as well…..

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl .

First some breaking news:

Apple is to start going door to door in a

new marketing effort to sell more of their products

The new sales team members will be known as

iWitnesses.

iwitnesses

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Just got myself a new job working at the

end of the production line in a vodka factory.

I’m making an Absolut packet.

absolut

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When a married couple fall out

about who makes the best coffee

is it grounds for divorce?

bad_coffee_is_grounds_for_divorce_coffee_mug

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Whenever my car breaks down

I take it to my Scottish friend.

Andy McCannick.

Andy McCannick

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My wife curses uncontrollably

when she chews her gum.

She’s got Nicorettes.

Nicorette Gum

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My boss always asks for help with Excel.

My skills are =A1.

excel2

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I’m having trouble keeping my hands warm

with these new fingerless gloves…

Any tips?

Fingerless_Gloves

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I was sat in my front lounge last night when my ex

drove past and threw a can of paint at my window.

I hate it when women get emulsional.

window splattered with paint

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I went out to the shop earlier to buy a book called

“100 Ways How To Build Confidence”.

I couldn’t buy it though,

the guy at the till would have laughed at me.

100 ways to build confidence

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I switched the letters ‘T’ and ‘K’ on my

computer to make it a little bit different.

Now it’s a QWERKY keyboard.

QWERKY keyboard

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Edward Deidde,

the man who spent his entire life explaining

that his surname was “deed” has collapsed.

He was airlifted to hospital

where he was pronounced dead.

confused-doctor-on-shutterstock

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Silent but deadly farts apparently do not count

as having an air of mystery about me.

Silent but deadly farts

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I told my butler a joke about firing him

because the doorbell rang all day.

He didn’t get it.

butler

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So it turns out ornithologists are not the experts

on sexual arousal I had assumed them to be.

ornithologists

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In case the country gets invaded and I have to quickly hide,

I have a big pop art painting on my wall

that hides a secret panic room.

I call it my handy war hole.

Warhol-Campbell_Soup-1-screenprint-1968

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Time For A Mid-Week Test

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Time for a mid-week test.

Today a selection of questions, some of them easy, some tricky, and one or two rather difficult.

So grab a cup of coffee and have a go.

As usual the answers are waaaaaay down below, but no cheating!

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 puzzle, test, exam. quiz, assessment

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Q. 1:  What becomes wetter the more it dries?

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Q. 2:  A red-house is made of red bricks, has a red wooden door and a red roof.

A yellow-house is made of yellow bricks, has a yellow wooden door and a yellow roof.

What is a green-house made of?

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Q. 3:  There are six eggs in the basket.

Six people each take one of the eggs.

How can it be that one egg is left in the basket?

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Q. 4:  Why is it better to have round manhole covers than square ones?

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Q. 5:  A New York city hairdresser recently said that he would rather cut the hair of three Canadians than one New Yorker. Why?

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Q. 6:  There are six glasses in a row.

The first three are full of water, and the next three are empty.

By moving only one glass how can you make them alternate between full and empty?

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Q. 7:  Three men in a cafe order a meal the total cost of which is $15.

They each contribute $5.

The waiter takes the money to the chef who recognizes the three as friends and asks the waiter to return $5 to the men.

The waiter is not only poor at mathematics but dishonest and instead of going to the trouble of splitting the $5 between the three he simply gives them $1 each and pockets the remaining $2 for himself.

Now, each of the men effectively paid $4, the total paid is therefore $12.

Add the $2 in the waiters pocket and this comes to $14.

….where has the other $1 gone from the original $15?

.Q. 1:  

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Q. 8:  How could a baby fall out of a twenty-story building onto the ground and live?

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Q. 9:  If:

2 3 = 10

7 2 = 63

6 5 = 66

8 4 = 96

9 7 = ??

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Q. 10:  Name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday.

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Q. 11:  Many shops have prices set just under a round figure, e.g. $9.99 instead of $10.00 or $99.95 instead of $100.00 . It is assumed that this is done because the price seems lower to the consumer. But this is not the reason the practice started. What was the original reason for this pricing method?

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Q. 12:  How do you get from cold to warm in four steps, changing only one letter at a time?

C O L D

_  _  _  _

_  _  _  _

_  _  _  _

W A R M

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Q. 13:  A snail creeps 10 feet up a wall during the daytime, then falls asleep.

It wakes up the next morning and discovers it slipped down 6 feet.

If this happens each day, how many days will it take to reach the top of a 22 foot wall?

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Q. 14:  You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus.

An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.

An old friend who once saved your life.

The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Knowing that there can only be one passenger in your car, whom would you choose?

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ANSWERS:

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Q. 1:  What becomes wetter the more it dries?       

A. 1:  A Towel

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Q. 2:  A red-house is made of red bricks, has a red wooden door and a red roof.

      A yellow-house is made of yellow bricks, has a yellow wooden door and a yellow roof.

     What is a green-house made of?

A. 2:  Glass

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Q. 3:  There are six eggs in the basket.

     Six people each take one of the eggs.

     How can it be that one egg is left in the basket?

A. 3:  The last person took the basket with the last egg still inside.

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Q. 4:  Why is it better to have round manhole covers than square ones?

A. 4:  Round covers cannot be dropped or fall down a manhole, unlike square ones.

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Q. 5:  A New York city hairdresser recently said that he would rather cut the hair of three Canadians than one New Yorker. Why?

A. 5:  Because he would earn three times as much money!

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Q. 6:  There are six glasses in a row. The first three are full of water, and the next three are empty.

     By moving only one glass how can you make them alternate between full and empty?

A. 6:  Pour the water from the 2nd glass into the 5th glass.

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Q. 7:  Three men in a cafe order a meal the total cost of which is $15.

      They each contribute $5.

      The waiter takes the money to the chef who recognizes the three as friends and asks the waiter to return $5 to the men.

      The waiter is not only poor at mathematics but dishonest and instead of going to the trouble of splitting the $5 between the three he simply gives them $1 each and pockets the remaining $2 for himself.

      Now, each of the men effectively paid $4, the total paid is therefore $12. Add the $2 in the waiters pocket and this comes to $14.

      ….where has the other $1 gone from the original $15? 

A. 7:  The payments should equal the receipts.

      It does not make sense to add what was paid by the men ($12) to what was received from that payment by the waiter ($2)

      Although the initial bill was $15 dollars, one of the five dollar notes gets changed into five ones.

      The total the three men ultimately paid is $12, as they get three ones back. So from the $12 the men paid, the owner receives $10 and the waiter receives the $2 difference. $15 – $3 = $10 + $2

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Q. 8:  How could a baby fall out of a twenty-story building onto the ground and live?

A. 8:  The baby fell out of a ground floor window.

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Q. 9:  If:

      2 3 = 10

      7 2 = 63

      6 5 = 66

      8 4 = 96

      9 7 = ??

A. 9:  f(n,m) = (n + m) * n

e.g. f(2,3) = (2 + 3) * 2 = 10

Hence, f(9,7) = (9 + 7) * 9 = 144

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Q. 10:  Name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday.

A. 10:  Yesterday, today and tomorrow

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Q. 11:  Many shops have prices set just under a round figure, e.g. $9.99 instead of $10.00 or $99.95 instead of $100.00 . It is assumed that this is done because the price seems lower to the consumer. But this is not the reason the practice started. What was the original reason for this pricing method?

A. 11:  The practice originated to ensure that the clerk had to open the till and give change for each transaction, thus recording the sale and preventing him from pocketing the bank notes.

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Q. 12:  How do you get from cold to warm in four steps, changing only one letter at a time?

C O L D

_  _  _  _

_  _  _  _

_  _  _  _

W A R M

A. 12:  

C O L D

C O R D

W O R D

W O R M  or  W A R D  

W A R M

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Q. 13:  A snail creeps 10 feet up a wall during the daytime, then falls asleep.

     It wakes up the next morning and discovers it slipped down 6 feet.

     If this happens each day, how many days will it take to reach the top of a 22 foot wall?

A. 13:  4 days

     Day 1: up to 10, down to 4

     Day 2: up to 14, down to 8

     Day 3: up to 18, down to 12

     Day 4: up to 22 and done

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Q. 14:  You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus

     An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.

     An old friend who once saved your life.

     The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

     Knowing that there can only be one passenger in your car, whom would you choose?

A. 14:   The old lady of course!

    After helping the old lady into the car, you can give your keys to your friend, and wait with your perfect partner for the bus.

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