Boffin Bollocks!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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mad scientist cartoon

I would love to have been a scientist.

Not a real one, I’m not clever enough or dedicated enough for that. Rather, I would have loved to have been one of those idiots who try to make a name for themselves off pronouncements on things about which they know absolutely nothing.

I saw another one of their headline grabbers (that I like to call “boffin bollocks”) recently. The headline went something like “Shock Warning Aliens Are Coming.” And it wasn’t about more Mexicans making their way north across the US border.

It was from NASA’s Chief Scientist, Ellen Stofan, and claimed that first contact with alien life will happen “very soon” – very soon being not tomorrow, but within the next decade or two.

“We know where to look,” she confirmed.

Yes, “UP” would be my non-scientific guess at the best direction.

“We know how to look,” she added.

Again I am forced to agree. Personally I’d use a telescope, and a great big one, but that’s only me!

astronomer cartoon www.davidreneke.com

Ms Stofan was ably backed up by a colleague, John M. Grunsfeld, who came out with good sound bite words and phrases like “solar system”, “galaxy”, “the icy crusts of Jupiter’s moons Ganymede and Europa” (my favorite I think) and “the internal water within Saturn’s moon Enceladus”.

Mars and the Martians also got mentioned, but only with suggestions that life may have at one time been present on the planet. H. G. and Orson Wells had beaten them to visits by the ‘real’ Martians many, many years ago.

War of the Worlds

More scientists, this time at the Parkes Observatory in Australia, have been carefully studying peryton-a type of radio signals similar to Fast Radio Bursts (FRBs) which are known to come from somewhere else in the galaxy.

For years, they had been puzzled by these brief but intense bursts of radio waves that in some ways appeared to be coming from deep space. There have been dozens of reported perytons, some dating back to the 1990s, and theories about the signals’ origin included ball lightning, aircraft, and components of the telescopes themselves.

Then this year they made a break through. They discovered the source of the rogue signals. They were coming from – no, not somewhere deep in the galaxy – but instead from the microwave oven in the next room.

In what has to be the understatement of the year, Emily Petroff of Australia’s Swinburne University of Technology admitted, “It was quite surprising that it ended up being microwaves.”  I bet it was!

microwave aliens

I must add that I’m a big fan of space exploration, always have been, since I was a kid and was captivated by the television coverage of the Apollo missions. My only regret is that it all takes so very long that I will have gone ‘supernova’ before we see any tangible results of that exploration. There’s never a handy wormhole around when you need one, is there!

I am also a big fan of TV sci-fi series like the Star Treks, the Stargates and so forth, and of movies from ‘War of the Worlds’, thru ‘E.T.’ to ‘Independence Day’ and beyond. But I also have the wit to realize I’m being entertained and these things are not real.

So is there life out there?

I wouldn’t rule the idea out for a second. But what I would rule out is that intelligent life is ever going to be found within our Solar System, maybe not even within our Galaxy. But it could be out there somewhere.

The question we should be asking is, assuming it is benign and not hell bent on conquering all in its path, or maybe viewing us as a culinary delicacy, would that intelligent life really want anything to do with a planet full of people who, for almost their entire existence, seem to want nothing better than to continually wage war on each other?

I think having observed us for a while they would probably pass us by without calling in to say hello.

If I were in their shoes – or space boots – that’s what I would do – and at warp speed too!

alien observers

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Time For The Monday Quiz!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, time for the Monday quiz.

Get your thinking caps on for another random mixture of questions.

As usual the answers can be found waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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quiz 05

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Q.  1:  Which capital city is also a TV detective?

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Q.  2:  Who created havoc in 1938, when his radio broadcast of “The War Of The Worlds” was believed to be true?

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Q.  3:  What were ‘Benjy’ and ‘Laska’, sent into space in 1958?

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Q.  4:  Name the composer of the famous musicals ‘Top Hat’ and ‘Annie Get Your Gun’

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Q.  5:  Which mountains form the backbone of South America?

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Q.  6:  In which river was Jesus Baptised?

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Q.  7:  Which South American country provides the setting for the climax of the 1969 movie ‘Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid’?

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Q.  8:  Into which ocean does the River Amazon flow?

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Q.  9:  Which South American city was shaped by architect Oscar Niemeyer?

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Q. 10:  The Rio Grande forms part of the boundary between which countries? (A point for each if you like.)

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Q. 11:  What name is given to the large, treeless plains south of the Amazon?

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Q. 12:  Which island in the east pacific is renowned for its stone heads?

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Q. 13:  Which General overthrew Salvador Allende in 1973?  (A bonus point if you can name the country.)

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Q. 14:  Who was in office as President of the United States when the decision was taken to declare war on Germany during World War I?

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Q. 15:  He was the son of a Siberian peasant and became the most influential person at the court of Tsar Nicholas II. He was widely thought to have magical powers and was assassinated in 1916. What was his name?

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Q. 16:  The Winter Olympics have just started in Russia, but in what year was London due to host the Summer Olympic Games, but couldn’t because of the Second World War?

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Q. 17:  Which American President saw active service in both the first and second World Wars?

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Q. 18:  Which three movies did Steven Spielberg direct that were among the top ten highest grossing films of the 20th century?  (Yes, a point for each and a bonus point if you get all three.)

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Q. 19:  In what country did the soup known as ‘Cullen Skink’ originate?

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Q. 20:  Which literary detective had a servant called ‘Bunter’?

            a) Hercule Poirot          b) Lord Peter Wimsey          c) Sherlock Holmes

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  Which capital city is also a TV detective?

A.  1:  Columbo.

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Q.  2:  Who created havoc in 1938, when his radio broadcast of “The War Of The Worlds” was believed to be true?

A.  2:  Orson Welles.

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Q.  3:  What were ‘Benjy’ and ‘Laska’, sent into space in 1958?

A.  3:  They were Mice.

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Q.  4:  Name the composer of the famous musicals ‘Top Hat’ and ‘Annie Get Your Gun’

A.  4:  Irving Berlin.

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Q.  5:  Which mountains form the backbone of South America?

A.  5:  The Andes.

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Q.  6:  In which river was Jesus Baptised?

A.  6:  In the River Jordan.

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Q.  7:  Which South American country provides the setting for the climax of the 1969 movie ‘Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid’?

A.  7:  Bolivia.

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Q.  8:  Into which ocean does the River Amazon flow?

A.  8:  The Atlantic Ocean.

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Q.  9:  Which South American city was shaped by architect Oscar Niemeyer?

A.  9:  Brasilia.

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Q. 10:  The Rio Grande forms part of the boundary between which countries? (A point for each if you like.)

A. 10:  The United States of America and Mexico.

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Q. 11:  What name is given to the large, treeless plains south of the Amazon?

A. 11:  The Pampas.

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Q. 12:  Which island in the east pacific is renowned for its stone heads?

A. 12:  Easter Island.

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Q. 13:  Which General overthrew Salvador Allende in 1973?  (A bonus point if you can name the country.)

A. 13:  General Pinochet in Chile.

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Q. 14:  Who was in office as President of the United States when the decision was taken to declare war on Germany during World War I?

A. 14:  Woodrow Wilson.

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Q. 15:  He was the son of a Siberian peasant and became the most influential person at the court of Tsar Nicholas II. He was widely thought to have magical powers and was assassinated in 1916. What was his name?

A. 15:  Rasputin.

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Q. 16:  The Winter Olympics have just started in Russia, but in what year was London due to host the Summer Olympic Games, but couldn’t because of the Second World War?

A. 16:  1944.

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Q. 17:  Which American President saw active service in both the first and second World Wars?

A. 17:  President Dwight D Eisenhower.

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Q. 18:  Which three movies did Steven Spielberg direct that were among the top ten highest grossing films of the 20th century?  (Yes, a point for each and a bonus point if you get all three.)

A. 18:  “Jurassic Park”, “E.T.” and “The Lost World”.

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Q. 19:  In what country did the soup known as ‘Cullen Skink’ originate?

A. 19:  Scotland. (It is a thick Scottish soup made of smoked haddock, potatoes and onions.)

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Q. 20:  Which literary detective had a servant called ‘Bunter’?

            a) Hercule Poirot          b) Lord Peter Wimsey          c) Sherlock Holmes

A. 20:  b) Lord Peter Wimsey

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