Time For Some Crude Talk.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s not so long ago that I was getting bombarded with emails about how great an investment oil would be.

At that time the predictions by those in the ‘know’, who really know nothing, was that oil would hit $200 per barrel – maybe much, much more!

Well, they almost got the number correct, except that oil actually hit $20 per barrel, not $200. As these things go it was a pretty good guess!!!

So why has the oil price declined and, although it has recovered a bit, why are the predictions for today’s low prices to hold long term?

The simple layman’s answer of course is that the oil price has declined because supply is greater than demand. When there is a surplus of a commodity the price falls and when it is scarce the price rises.

The supply of oil has increased relative to demand for a number of reasons.

The most obvious one is the vast reserves of oil found and now being recovered in the massive shale-oil fields in the United States of America and the tar-sands in Canada that have added more than 5 million barrels per day to domestic oil production since 2008. Able to produce more at home, North America has been able to reduce its demand for imported oil.

The effect of this, of course, is that the OPEC countries have seen their annual revenues fall sharply during the same period. To try to rectify this fall in income, which they need to provide for their own citizens, they have been trying to replace lost revenue from North America by increasing production of their own oil supplies.

In other words, they have created even more over supply in the market, which helps to keep the oil price down.

Then there was the ISIS or ISIL terrorists in Iraq who had taken control of most of the oil fields and were dumping oil on the black market as fast as they could to help finance their war. Recently they’ve lost control of a lot of those oil fields so that part of the equation may no longer be in play to the same extent.

However, if there is a deal ever done with the Iranians and they are able to trade without restriction again, no doubt they will be adding their oil to the market glut which will also help to keep the market over-supplied and the price suppressed.

Then there is the increasing use of compressed natural gas or CNG. This is the natural gas that used to be burned off at the oil wells, but that is now collected, compressed into tanks and used to power vehicles and in drilling equipment, meaning less diesel is purchased.

Despite all these over-supply pressures, the thing that is keeping the oil price from collapsing completely is the continued demand from China. This is a good thing because a long-term collapse in the oil price, whilst it may make life a bit easier financially for many with decreased heating and fuel bills, also has detrimental secondary effects on some parts of the country where the oil industry provides a living for a great many people.

I haven’t had an email about investing in oil for a long time and I don’t expect them to start again soon. Now you know why.

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Whose Bubble Will Burst First, The Banks Or The Bolsheviks?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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As 2014 ended, the Russian Rouble was in free fall and so were crude oil prices. Both affected the Russian economy and not in a good way. From a position of great strength Vladimir Putin is now under pressure due to the combined effect of lower oil prices and the sanctions imposed by the west because of the situation in the Ukraine and Crimea.

In the West there have been two notable effects of the drop in oil.

One is good in so far as consumers have to spend a lot less to run their vehicles and heat their homes.

The other, however, is bad – for the banks (tee-hee-hee) although they will no doubt pass on their pain to us.

The reason the banks are in trouble (AGAIN) is because they have lent billions of dollars to fracking operations where oil explorers use expensive techniques to extract oil from underneath American and Canadian soil.

The drop in oil prices means that you can now buy oil on the open market for a lot less than it costs to extract it in the US and Canada.

Therefore the oil exploration companies that obtained these huge loans from the banks, and other money men on Wall St, have little or no chance currently of paying them back.

If the position continues through 2015 expect payment defaults and huge debts written off again by the banks.

Will the government step in (AGAIN) to bail them out by printing more money?

I don’t know. I hope not. It’s time these bankster idiots paid for their own mistakes instead of us having to continually foot the bill.

Don’t count on it though.

So whose bubble do you think will burst first, the banks or the Bolsheviks?

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The Opportunity Of A Lifetime!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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How often have you seen “The Opportunity Of A Lifetime” pop up on the internet or in your email?

This time it’s different, though.

This time it’s true!

Well, sort of.

Because this is your chance to own what is possibly the stupidest dog in the world.

And it won’t cost you anything either, we’re giving him away to the first good home

FOR FREE!!!

If you are stupid, and you want a companion at least as stupid as you are, if not more so, this is the perfect dog for you.

His name is ‘Scotty’, (and, yes, I have asked to be “beamed up” several times), but don’t let the name put you off.

You can call him anything you like, ‘Rover’, ‘Patch’, ‘Lassie’, ‘Monday’, ‘Tuesday’, ‘Wednesday’, ‘November’, or whatever, because it’s all the same to him – this dog is so dumb he doesn’t even know his own name.

His lack of knowledge is on such a vast scale I’m astounded the known Universe is expanding rapidly enough to contain it.

He doesn’t know how to sit. He doesn’t know how to stay. He doesn’t know how to come, or to stop, or to heel, or anything you can teach a normal dog to do.

He just doesn’t know anything.

And you won’t have to waste your time and money training him either, because this dog just cannot learn. Believe me I have done my best!

He is painfully stupid in at least the four different languages we have tried. He doesn’t speak English, nor does he hablar español, he hasn’t a clue how to parler francais, and you might as well try to speak klingon as sprechen Deutsch to him.

A big plus is that he is small and won’t eat you out of house and home. All you have to remember to do is buy cat food and not dog food and you’ll be fine. The cat beats him up every time he eats her food, but he doesn’t learn from that either. I don’t think he even knows he’s a dog.

The only one thing he has learned, is not to shit in the house, but in truth I think this has more to do with the fact that every time he tried he discovered he couldn’t with my toe up his arse.

He barks at strangers, which is good. And if he left it at that we wouldn’t mind.

But he also barks at people he knows, or rather, people he should know if he had the brains to remember who they were, which he hasn’t.

And some of the time he barks at nothing at all. It can go on for ages because, when he does bark at nothing, he must hear his own bark, think it’s another dog, and off he goes. Sometimes you can look at his face and watch him trying to figure it out.

“Woof!”

“Who said that? Grrrrr.”

“Woof!”

“There it is again!”

“Woof! Snarl.”

“WTF?”

“Woof!  Woof! Woof!”

“There’s another dog here somewhere.”

“Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof!”

And on it goes for a while, until it stops for no reason, the same way it started.

He also doesn’t know his left back leg belongs to him. When he notices it is there, he attacks it as if it is another animal trying to insert itself into his leg socket. I’ve seen other dogs chasing their tail, but this is just ridiculous.

Finally, every time the front gate is opened, he has taken to running down the street after bicycles and motorbikes – that he doesn’t know how to ride – and after cars and other vehicles – that he doesn’t know how to drive. What he would do with them if he ever caught one I just don’t know! Neither does he, but he does it anyway.

Somehow, and I find this rather incredible – and disappointing – he has always managed to find his way back home. I think it’s because he tries every other house on the way back and we are the only one silly enough to let him back in. I’ve told everyone to pretend they don’t know him when he turns up and he’ll just move on to the next house and then next, but they won’t listen to me.

So come on good people of the blogsphere, which of you is going to take advantage of this incredible opportunity of a lifetime?

You know how much I love dogs, I’ve said so before on this blog, but please get in touch as soon as you can and take this stupid dog off our hands before I crack up completely!

My father gave me a lot of good advice, and one of the things he told me many years ago was never to get a dog whose arsehole was bigger than its brain.

I should have listened! 

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The Stupidest Car Thief In The World.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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In Britain and some other countries, vehicles with automatic transmission are the exception rather than the rule. It tends to come as standard only on the high-end cars and SUVs. I’m not sure whether this is a result of tradition, or stupidity, or maybe even stupid tradition, but it’s how things are.

In many other countries, however, including the United States of America, automatic transmission on vehicles is standard.

So what has this got to do with stupid criminals you may ask?

Well, the answer is that cars get stolen. A lot of them. Every day.

And every so often, you’ll hear about a dumb car thief in America who got completely stumped in their criminal career because they didn’t know how to operate a manual transmission.

But 19-year-old Jasmine Hernandez from Phoenix was different.

She wasn’t dumb. She was VERY dumb!

One Saturday evening, a man was dropping off his kids at a home to visit friends and he left his car running on the driveway while he went inside with the youngsters.

When he returned outside again, he heard his engine revving and saw that a woman, Jasmine, was in the driver’s seat of his car.

The owner of the vehicle opened the door in an attempt to prevent her from getting away and saw that she was frantically using the levers that adjust the lights and windshield wipers in an attempt to put the car into drive.

Poor Jasmine had no idea how to operate the transmission because she was apparently unaware that some vehicles  –  in fact, many, many vehicles  –  don’t have column-mounted shifters.

The rest of the story is easy to guess.

The owner of the vehicle was able to pull Hernandez out and detain her until police arrived.

Police discovered Hernandez had a warrant out for her arrest for aggravated assault and arrested her on those charges.

Her attempt at becoming a car thief was apparently so bad that police haven’t even charged her with that crime.

And that is the story of Jasmine Hernandez, the stupidest car thief in the world!

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Did You Know? – It’s A First Tuesday Fact Feast!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s the first Tuesday of 2014 so here are a few lesser known facts about the New Year, its traditions and its celebrations.

Enjoy.

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January is named after Janus, the god with two faces,

one looking forward and one looking backward.

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The Scottish ‘First Footer’ tradition or superstition originates

in the belief that the first visitor on New Year’s Day would bring

either good luck or bad luck for the rest of the year,

depending on who he/she was.

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The tradition of fireworks and making loud noises on New Year’s Eve

is believed to have originated in ancient times,

when noise and fire were thought to dispel evil spirits and bring good luck.

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Traditionally, it was thought that people could alter the luck

they would have throughout the coming year

by what they did or ate on the first day of the year.

It has, therefore, become important to celebrate first day of the New Year

in the company of family and friends.

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Almost half of Americans make New Year’s Resolutions,

mainly about losing weight, stopping smoking, being better organized,

staying fit and healthy and spending less and saving more.

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More than half of Americans who make New Year’s Resolutions

are able to keep them for less than a month.

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In Denmark, it is a good sign when you find broken dishes in front of your door.

Danish people specially keep a few plates that they break

to place at their friends’ doors on New Year’s Eve.

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Many parts of the U.S. celebrate New Year by consuming black-eyed peas

and other legumes, as it has been considered good luck in many cultures.

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Ancient Persians gave New Year’s gifts of eggs,

which symbolized productiveness.

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“Auld Lang Syne” is traditionally sung at midnight on New Year’s Eve.

It was written by Scottish poet Robert Burns in 1788

and may have based it on a folk song.

The words “auld lang syne” mean “times gone by”.

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More than a third of a billion glasses of Champagne and other sparkling wine

are consumed during the Christmas / New Year celebrations.

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In Brazil at New Year many people dress in white

as a sign or hope for peace for the coming year.

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The Time Square New Year’s Eve Ball came about as a result of a ban on fireworks.

The first ball, in 1907, was an illuminated 700-pound iron and wood ball

adorned with one hundred 25-watt light bulbs.

Today, the round ball designed by Waterford Crystal, weighs 11,875-pounds,

is 12 feet in diameter and is bedazzled with 2,668 Waterford crystals.

The only time the New Year’s Eve ball was not lowered was

in 1942 and 1943 due to wartime restrictions.

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The tradition of ringing in the New Year dates back four thousand years,

to the time of the Babylonians who celebrated it at

the first full moon after the spring equinox.

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In 46 BC Julius Caesar made January 1st the first day of the year.

In England and its colonies, including America,

we didn’t do the same until 1752.

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The top three destinations in the United States

to ring in the New Year are

Las Vegas, Disney World and New York City.

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Many cultures believe that anything given or taken on New Year,

in the shape of a ring is good luck,

because it symbolizes “coming full circle”.

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In America more vehicles are stolen on New Year’s Day

than on any other holiday throughout the year.

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The Spanish ritual on New Year’s Eve is to eat twelve grapes at midnight.

The tradition is meant to secure twelve happy months in the coming year.

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The Ethiopian Calendar has twelve months with 30 days each and a

thirteenth month called Pagume with five or six days depending on the year.

Their current year is still 2006 and they celebrate New Years on September 11.

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Day Two 2013, Are You Scared Yet?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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If you aren’t scared yet the chances are you are not afflicted with anything on the following list of phobias or irrational fears that seem to grip some unfortunate people. For them 2013 will be as frightening as 2012. Imagine, for example, spending the whole year with proctophobia – what a bummer!

In today’s list are the ‘O’s and the ‘P’s. 

Enjoy.

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Obesophobia……….fear of gaining weight. (Pocrescophobia)

 

Ochlophobia……….fear of crowds or mobs.

 

Ochophobia……….fear of vehicles.

 

Octophobia ……….fear of the figure 8.

 

Odontophobia……….fear of teeth or dental surgery.

 

Odynophobia or Odynephobia……….fear of pain. (Algophobia)

 

Oenophobia……….fear of wines.

 

Oikophobia……….fear of home surroundings, house. (Domatophobia, Eicophobia)

 

Olfactophobia……….fear of smells.

 

Ombrophobia……….fear of rain or of being rained on.

 

Ommetaphobia or Ommatophobia……….fear of eyes.

 

Omphalophobia……….fear of belly buttons.

 

Oneirophobia……….fear of dreams.

 

Oneirogmophobia……….fear of wet dreams.

 

Onomatophobia……….fear of hearing a certain word or of names.

 

Ophidiophobia……….fear of snakes. (Snakephobia)

 

Ophthalmophobia……….fear of being stared at.

 

Opiophobia……….fear medical doctors experience of prescribing needed pain medications for patients.

 

Optophobia……….fear of opening one’s eyes.

 

Ornithophobia……….fear of birds.

 

Orthophobia……….fear of property.

 

Osmophobia or Osphresiophobia……….fear of smells or odors.

 

Ostraconophobia……….fear of shellfish.

 

Ouranophobia or Uranophobia……….fear of heaven.

 

Pagophobia……….fear of ice or frost.

 

Panthophobia……….fear of suffering and disease.

 

Panophobia or Pantophobia……….fear of everything.

 

Papaphobia……….fear of the Pope.

 

Papyrophobia……….fear of paper.

 

Paralipophobia……….fear of neglecting duty or responsibility.

 

Paraphobia……….fear of sexual perversion.

 

Parasitophobia……….fear of parasites.

 

Paraskavedekatriaphobia……….fear of Friday the 13th.

 

Parthenophobia……….fear of virgins or young girls.

 

Pathophobia……….fear of disease.

 

Patroiophobia……….fear of heredity.

 

Parturiphobia……….fear of childbirth.

 

Peccatophobia……….fear of sinning or imaginary crimes.

 

Pediculophobia……….fear of lice.

 

Pediophobia……….fear of dolls.

 

Pedophobia……….fear of children.

 

Peladophobia……….fear of bald people.

 

Pellagrophobia……….fear of pellagra.

 

Peniaphobia……….fear of poverty.

 

Pentheraphobia……….fear of mother-in-law. (Novercaphobia)

 

Phagophobia……….fear of swallowing or of eating or of being eaten.

 

Phalacrophobia……….fear of becoming bald.

 

Phallophobia……….fear of a penis, especially erect.

 

Pharmacophobia……….fear of taking medicine.

 

Phasmophobia……….fear of ghosts.

 

Phengophobia……….fear of daylight or sunshine.

 

Philemaphobia or Philematophobia……….fear of kissing.

 

Philophobia……….fear of falling in love or being in love.

 

Philosophobia……….fear of philosophy.

 

Phobophobia……….fear of phobias.

 

Photoaugliaphobia……….fear of glaring lights.

 

Photophobia……….fear of light.

 

Phonophobia……….fear of noises or voices or one’s own voice; of telephones.

 

Phronemophobia……….fear of thinking.

 

Phthiriophobia……….fear of lice. (Pediculophobia)

 

Phthisiophobia……….fear of tuberculosis.

 

Placophobia……….fear of tombstones.

 

Plutophobia……….fear of wealth.

 

Pluviophobia……….fear of rain or of being rained on.

 

Pneumatiphobia……….fear of spirits.

 

Pnigophobia or Pnigerophobia……….fear of choking of being smothered.

 

Pocrescophobia……….fear of gaining weight. (Obesophobia)

 

Podophobia……….fear of feet.

 

Pogonophobia……….fear of beards.

 

Poliosophobia……….fear of contracting poliomyelitis.

 

Politicophobia……….fear or abnormal dislike of politicians.

 

Polyphobia……….fear of many things.

 

Poinephobia……….fear of punishment.

 

Ponophobia……….fear of overworking or of pain.

 

Porphyrophobia……….fear of the color purple.

 

Potamophobia……….fear of rivers or running water.

 

Potophobia……….fear of alcohol.

 

Pharmacophobia……….fear of drugs.

 

Proctophobia……….fear of rectums.

 

Prosophobia……….fear of progress.

 

P-P-P-P-P-Psellismophobia……….fear of stuttering.

 

Psychophobia……….fear of mind.

 

Psychrophobia……….fear of cold.

 

Pteridophobia……….morbid fear of fearns.

 

Pteromerhanophobia……….fear of flying.

 

Pteronophobia……….fear of being tickled by feathers.

 

Pupaphobia ……….fear of puppets.

 

Pyrexiophobia……….fear of fever.

 

Pyrophobia……….fear of fire.

 

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How are you after all that? Are you developing symptoms or are you feeling good?

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