Gullibility test kit – send $19.99 now!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Gullible or not now is your chance to look at this week’s selection of word plays, better known as puns.

As usual they come with choice….

Enjoy or endure!!

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rofl

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I have four problems in life:

counting,

remembering

and counting.

 counting sesame street

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I was driving along the other day,

when a bloke stopped me and said,

“Your back mud flaps have fallen off.”

I said, “Can’t do much about it now,

I’ll just carry on rear guard less.”

 mud flaps

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Stable relationships

are for horses

 Stable relationships are for horses

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My friend told me that after years of doubt,

he is now convinced my wife is having an affair.

“We’ve gone and moved 250 miles away,” he told me.

“And we’ve still got the same window cleaner.”

 window cleaner

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It’s times like these, when I’m sat

in bed with my computer on my knee,

that I really wish I’d bought a laptop.

 computer

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I think I may have a shower.

Just checked, yes I do, it’s upstairs.

 a shower

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I just found $20 hanging from my ceiling.

It was a suicide note.

 $20 bill

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Exaggerations went up

by a million percent last year.

 sales chart

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If Einstein hadn’t come up with

the Theory of Relativity,

someone else would have.

It was only a matter of time.

 Einstein

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My cat is absolutely terrified

of thunder and lightening.

The pussy.

 lightning

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What part of my body is as long as your thigh,

contains over 120 muscles,

and is an anagram of “pensi”?

No, you’re completely wrong.

The correct answer is my spine.

 spine

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According to my facebook timeline,

I had no life before joining Facebook in 2012.

I believe it to be the other way around.

Facebook-Timeline-Evolution

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Did You Know? More Fab Facts From The Files

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, more fab facts from the files here at the fasab blog.

These posts are as random as they get so hopefully you should be able to get something out of them no matter what your interests are.

Check them out below.

And enjoy.

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did you know3

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The phone number to the white house is:

(202) 456-1414.

US-WhiteHouse-Logo

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It takes about 63,000 trees to make the newsprint

for the average Sunday edition of New York Times.

The_New_York_Times

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Pucks hit by hockey sticks have reached speeds

of up to 150 miles per hour.

NHL puck

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Intelligent people have more

zinc and copper in their hair.

albert-einstein

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In every episode of Seinfeld

there is a Superman somewhere.

Seinfeld Superman

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The most poisonous spider is the black widow.

Its venom is more potent than a rattlesnake’s.

Black_widow_Spider

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Fish that live more than 800 meters below

the ocean surface don’t have eyes.

deep sea fish

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Mercury is the only planet

whose orbit is coplanar with its equator.

Mercury

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There is actually no danger in swimming right after you eat,

though it may feel uncomfortable.

wait_30_minutes

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Starfish have no brains.

(I know several people like that!)

starfish-2

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The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses.

greek anthem

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Los Angeles’ full name is

“El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula”.

LA

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Al Capone’s business card

said he was a used furniture dealer.

capone card 2

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A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

A quarter has 119.

quarter

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John Lennon’s first girlfriend

was named Thelma Pickles.

Thelma-Pickles

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You can lead a cow upstairs

but not downstairs.

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The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

HomerSleeping

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There are 336 dimples on a regulation US golf ball.

In the UK its 330.

golf ball

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At the height of its power in 400 BC, the Greek city of Sparta

had 25,000 citizens and 500,000 slaves.

Sparta

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In “Silence of the Lambs”,

Hannibal Lector (Anthony Hopkins) never blinks.

silence of the lambs

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