Political Jokes!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

No, this isn’t a list of the names of the members of the HoR or the Senate, or even the Obama administration, although I see why you would have jumped to that conclusion.

I thought I would try to lighten the mood for the weekend by posting some of the political jokes that made me smile.

Hope they have the same effect on you.

Enjoy.

.

 

.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common:

they should both be changed regularly…

and for the same reason.

.

.

Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s new ‘Obama Value Meal’?

A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

.

 

.

Q: How many politicians does

it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two: one to change it and

another one to change it back again.

.

.

.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?

A: Your Honor.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?

A: Senator.

.

.

We used to have Reagan, Jonny Cash, and Bob Hope.

Now we have Obama, no cash, and no hope.

.

.

The recession is getting so bad,

the bank sent me a new type of credit card.

It was pre-declined.

.

 

.

It was so cold in Washington today,

I saw a Democrat who had his hands in his own pockets!

.

.

I is very proud dat I went 2 school in da UK.

I fink out of all 17 countries in da world UK is da best.

.

.

When they call the roll in the Senate,

the Senators do not know whether to answer

‘Present’ or ‘Not guilty.’ 

.

.Today’s public figures can no longer

Today’s public figures can no longer

write their own speeches or books,

and there is some evidence

that they can’t read them either. 

(Gore Vidal.)

.

 

.

‘Politics is the art of looking for trouble,

finding it whether it exists or not,

diagnosing it incorrectly,

and applying the wrong remedy’.

(Ernest Benn.)

 .

.

‘Politicians are the same all over.

They promise to build bridges,

even where there are no rivers’.

(Nikita Kruschchev.)

.

 

.

I just hope our next world war isn’t with China.

Who would make uniforms for the troops?

.

.

The Iranian leader has left

on a tour of friendly countries.

He’s expected home tomorrow.

.

.

Foreign Aid :

Poor people in a rich country

sending money to

rich people in a poor country.

.

.

I rarely speak to Obama supporters,

but when I do….

I ask for large fries.

.

.

Obama: “Here we are, two black presidents.”

Mandela: “You’re not very black.”

Obama: “I’ve not been to jail.”

.

.

President Obama met Bill Clinton for lunch.

“I was sorry to hear about Hillary’s concussion,”

Obama said. “How’s her head?”

“It’s fine,” Bill replied.

“But she’s no Monica.”

.

.

My computer crashed earlier and I lost all my files,

Luckily the NSA has a back up…

.

.

Stop repeat offenders.

Don’t re-elect them!

.

.

Democracy:

A political system where

any two idiots outvote a genius.

.

.

How many Feminists does

it take to change a lightbulb?

Two.

One to get a man to change it,

and the other to criticize men for inventing it.

.

.

Spin doctors:

People who never call a spade a spade.

They proclaim it as a ground-breaking innovation.

.

.

Politicians should serve two terms.

One in office, one in prison.

.

.

No matter who you vote for

the government always seems to get in.

.

.

Definition of an elephant:

A mouse built to government specifications.

.

.

The word ‘politics’ is derived from

the word ‘poly’, meaning ‘many’,

and the word ‘ticks’,

meaning ‘blood sucking parasites’.

(Larry Hardiman.)

.

====================================

–

 

 

Obama Says Iraq’s Government Needs Help!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Now there’s a headline. Let’s repeat it…

Obama says Iraq’s government needs help!

Long live hypocrisy!

.

Time for a Sunday Sermon I think!

.

.

I say hypocrisy for one simple reason, Obama  –  remember him, the man who was getting all the troops OUT of Iraq  –  wants to send them back in again because of the almighty mess that America, Britain and other western nations made blundering about in a country they didn’t understand.

It’s worse than that, of course, because Obama wants to send the troops back into Iraq to help stave off attacks by radical Islamists who have been making inroads in various parts of Iraq and are now threatening to close in on Baghdad itself.

This what he said, “I don’t rule out anything, because we do have a stake in making sure that these jihadists are not getting a permanent foothold in either Iraq or Syria.”

But hang on a minute.

There’s that stench of hypocrisy again.

Are these not the very same terrorists who Obama is supporting financially and with arms shipments in Syria?

They may have different names in different countries but these terrorists collectively want to establish an Islamic state in the region that surpasses national boundaries and governments. And from there, who knows?

It really is that simple. But it seems American foreign policy is in its usual state – completely confused, completely devoid of logic and good sense.

The mess that has been left behind in Iraq is catastrophic.

The country has more or less disintegrated politically and militarily, with Islamic militants capturing the country’s second-largest city this week after soldiers scattered, leaving their uniforms and weapons behind. So much for the $15 billion Washington (i.e., the American taxpayer) has already provided in training, weapons and equipment to the Iraqi government!

The result of this capitulation is that at least half a million ordinary citizens are understandably fleeing as the terrorists gain ground.

America’s ‘re-intervention’ will start with air strikes, possible using drones. But the chances of that doing anything more than temporarily halting the terrorists are slight. Next will come increased supplies of arms and equipment for the ‘official’ Iraqi forces. And then ‘advisors’ will be sent in  –  they’re probably already there, their presence will just be officially acknowledged.

There was a strong indication of what will come after that, when White House spokesman Jay Carney said. “We are not contemplating ground troops, I want to be clear about that.”

I have seldom seen a clearer admission that the White House is actively considering sending ground troops back into Iraq!

SoS Kerry has been wheeled out again to tell the world that the situation presently is not just a threat to Iraq, but to the United States and the rest of the world. We all know that John. What we also know  –  and what you don’t  –  is that more blundering about in a situation you do not understand, more young American live sacrificed for nothing, and more brave souls maimed for life to satisfy political whims won’t make things any better.

Will common sense ever prevail? Sadly I very much doubt it. The lack of understanding exhibited by the politicians seems to span all parties.

The lunatics are in charge of the asylum.

So there’s more stupidity on the way!

.

Ethno-religious map of Iraq, courtesy of the Washington Post

.

=================================================

.