Does The Name Pavlov Ring A Bell?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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What would Thursdays be without a few puns?

Well, yes, okay it would still be Thursday, but a lot less enjoyable.

So what are you waiting for?

I’m sure you are already salivating at the prospect.

Enjoy!

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My desire to be a dermatologist was only skin deep.

I knew I was destined for osteology.

I could feel it in my bones.

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There’s been a break in at a local puzzle factory.

Authorities are still trying to piece things together.

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The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

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The hardest time in a man’s life

is between puberty and impotence.

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I used to think I was trapped in a woman’s body…

Then I was born.

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Never hit a man with glasses.

Hit him with a baseball bat.

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I did some DIY with my step-ladder the other night.

I never really got along with my real ladder.

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My Uncle had his tongue shot off during World War II.

He doesn’t talk about it, though.

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Some people like Pachyderms.

But I find them irrelephant

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My wife left me because of my obsession with sporting puns.

its a shame really because i wanted to discus it.

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I went to the dentist the other day and he told me that he was sick of hearing puns about his job.

So I told him ‘I had a filling you were going to say that’

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I would prefer it if there were Fuhrer puns about the Nazis, thanks very much.

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Did you hear about the transvestite blues singer?

He woke up one morning and he had the blouse.

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I hate when people try to use the word infinity just to be clever.

It annoys me to no end.

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Another Tuesday And Another List Of Those Questions

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another Tuesday and another list of questions so important that no one seems to want to ask them –  except here of course.

Enjoy.

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Where does the toe-tag go on a dead person if they don’t have toes?

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If you dug a hole through the center of the earth and jumped in, would you stay at the center because of gravity?

Gravity elevator

 

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Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commercials that says “Not available in all states”?

“Not available in all States”

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Do they bury people with their braces on?

braces

 

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How far east can you go before you’re heading west?

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Do dentists go to other dentists or do they just do it themselves?

dentist

 

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If, in a baseball game, the batter hits a ball splitting it right down the center with half the ball flying out of the park and the other half being caught, what is the final ruling?

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Why do people think that swaying their arm back and forth would change the direction of a bowling ball?

Bowler

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Why is it that everyone driving faster than you is considered an idiot, and everyone driving slower than you is a moron?

 

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If pro and con are opposites, wouldn’t the opposite of progress be congress?

 

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Why does grape flavor smell the way it is when actual grapes don’t taste or smell anything like it.

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If girls with large breasts work at Hooters, then do girls with one leg work at IHOP?

 

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If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

 

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Is it rude for a deaf person to talk (sign) with their mouth full of food?

 

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If a transvestite goes missing, would you put their face on a carton of Half and Half?

 

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When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?

partly sunny? – or – partly cloudy?

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Are eyebrows considered facial hair?

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If a baby’s leg pops out at 11:59PM but his head doesn’t come out until 12:01, which day was he born on?

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Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

The square bread – round meat conundrum

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Why is the Lone Ranger called ‘Lone’ if he always has his Indian friend Tonto with him?

Lone Ranger and Tonto

 

 

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