Starting: What Jamaican Astronomers Look At.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Starting with a star ting must mean it’s Pun Day.

Another selection of word plays for you to ….

Enjoy or endure!

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Sadly, the man who invented

the raffle has passed away.

R.I.P Tom Bola.

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I’ve been merciless with my French class.

I get no thanks.

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I was standing on soft ground

but I didn’t realize at first

because it took a while to sink in.

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If you give a physicist to a cannibal,

he’ll eat Faraday.

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I’ve read ‘Plumbing For Dummies’ twice and

I still haven’t got a clue what I’m doing.

I guess it’s going to take another

few reads before this sinks in.

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If your dad had a sex change,

would he be your transparent.

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Chinese censors are trying to

ban the use of puns in the media.

This is the wong move, and I hope

Western governments don’t panda to it.

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I’m beginning to see loads of second

hand shops opening up in my area.

Surely selling the complete clock

would be more profitable???

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I just built a huge tower of books.

It had to be like 50 stories.

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When David Rockefeller was asked to make

a contribution to the American conservation movement,

he planted two Bushes in the White House.

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Have you seen the new

’30 minutes or it’s free’

cocaine home delivery service?

They call it Instagram.

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My boyfriend took me out in his new Ferrari last night,

and spent the whole time going on about acceleration,

power-to-weight ratios, handling and braking efficiency,

before dropping me at home and zooming off into the night. 

Frankly, I was hoping for less torque and more action.

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I went to the doctor because

of my morbid fear of breasts.

He said I’m suffering from

aracknophobia.

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I met this dwarf called Peter the other day,

he’s a baker and he was telling

me all about baking flatbreads,

it was fascinating.

I love to hear the

Pita patter of tiny Pete.

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Music puns,

Not everyone can Handel them…

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One Of Today’s Facts Is Really A No Brainer!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, one of today’s facts in a ‘no-brainer’, but hopefully interesting as well.

There are lots of others too on a range of unrelated subjects.

So peruse at you leisure and….

Enjoy.

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April 4, June 6, October 10 and December 12

will all fall on the same day of the week in any year.

These days are called ‘doomsdays’,

and they are meant to help calculate

the day of the week of any given date.

In 2014 the doomsdays were all on Fridays

whereas 2015’s doomsdays are all on Saturday.

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Milton Hershey,

the man creator of one of the

greatest chocolate bars of all time,

had tickets to be on the Titanic,

but changed his plans and did not go.

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The oldest Egyptian pyramid is

believed to be the Pyramid of Djoser

which was built in the Saqqara Necropolis

during the 27th century BC.

However, the Pyramid of Khufu

(also known as Great Pyramid of Giza

or the Pyramid of Cheops) is the largest,

its original height being 146.5 meters (481 feet)

(the current height is 138.8 meters (455 feet)).

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A child born in Sweden in 1991 was named

Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116.

Which his parents said was pronounced ‘Albin’.

The name was meant as a protest

against Swedish naming laws.

The parents were fined 5,000 kronor

in 1996 (roughly 740 U.S. Dollars).

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A polar bear’s stark white fur

is not exactly what it appears to be

because their hair follicles are transparent,

hollow tubes which reflect whatever

light surrounds them.

When their fur takes on a yellowish

or greenish tint it is due to age and dirt,

while the greenish color is caused by

algae that can grow on polar bear fur

in unnaturally warm and humid environments.

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On Mars

there is something that looks exactly

like either a really tall humanoid statue.

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The heart pumps blood to almost all

of the body’s 75 trillion cells,

only the corneas receive no blood supply.

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About one hundred hours of video

are uploaded to YouTube every single minute.

In other words, more videos are uploaded

to YouTube in two months

than the three major US networks

created in sixty years.

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The Aston Martin factory has a

robot nicknamed the ‘James Bonder’.

That is used to apply adhesives that

bond aluminum body panels together.

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The term ‘No-brainer’ is a relatively modern

phrase used to describe making a very easy decision.

One of the earliest sources for it comes from an

issue of the Lethbridge Herald of 1968

which stated about an ice hockey coach:

“He’d break in on a goalie and the netminder

would make one of those saves that our

manager-coach, Sid Abel, calls ‘a no-brainer.’ ”

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The world’s quietest room is -9 decibels,

so quiet you can hear the blood

flowing in your own body!

The silence of the room can cause

hallucinations, and the longest anyone

has ever spent in the room is 45 minutes.

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The average person produces about

half a liter of fart gas per day

or about 14 farts worth on average.

Some have been clocked at speeds of 10ft per sec.

Phew!

 

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When a person becomes very stressed,

anxious or scared the frontal lobe of the

brain can sometimes be overridden which

can make you feel the need to pee

at that moment or more frequently.

Hence sayings like such and such  ..

”scared the piss out of me.”

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In the Home Alone movie

Buzz’s girlfriend was not a girl at all,

she/he was the art director’s son

made up to look like a girl.

They thought using a real girl’s photo

would be too cruel for an actual teenage girl.

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Kelsey Grammar sings and plays the piano

for the theme song of Frasier.

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A Taxing Problem And A Simple Solution.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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The Sunday Sermon

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Taxation is a perfect example of how the politicians and the bureaucrats have made things go haywire.

Such a monstrous collection of tax regulations has been accumulated over the years that even qualified accountants cannot properly decipher them.

There are allowances for this…. but not that…. except you can have it for that too…. but only if you do this first……

There are ‘eliminated items’ which may not be the same as ‘excluded items’, which is different from ‘excluded income’, not to be confused with ‘exempt income’, all of which you can have as deductions as long as everything has been ‘apportioned’ and/or ‘allocated’ according to the precise rules………  and on and on and on and on it goes.  

Just to give you an idea of the scale of the problem and to prove that I am not exaggerating in the slightest, the current US Tax Code is now well over 70,000 pages long. That’s about 185 times longer than it was in 1913, when the code was 400 pages and still far too long and complicated at that!

If you are an Apple or a Google or an Exxon and have a multi-billion dollar war chest you can buy the best professional experts and end up paying little or no tax at all. On the other hand if you are Joe Average you’ve got no chance!

Is there a better way?

I think so. For sure there isn’t a worse way!

It’s not a new idea, but as the system gets more and more complicated, it makes more and more sense to change it.

So why don’t we have a certain tax free allowance of $30,000 or $50,000 or whatever for annual exempt income, and pay 10 cents on every dollar we earn above that (or 10p a pound or 10 cents per euro) and leave it at that?

If that was the rule, and the only rule, everyone could do their tax returns easily, everything would be transparent, there wouldn’t be any complicated loopholes and no one would feel aggrieved because we are all being treated equally. And I think the governments would actually net a lot more revenue at a much reduced collection cost.

Too easy? Can’t be done like that?

That’s what the bureaucrats say, but as usual they are lying. They just don’t want their little empires reduced.

Of course it can be done the simple way. If fact although we don’t notice it, we see it done every day like that with sales tax. You buy something for a dollar and you pay your percentage of sales tax. (VAT they call it in Europe).

Easy. Simple. Everyone knows what they have to pay and why they have to pay it.

It will never happen of course. Not while the bureaucrats remain in charge and the politicians are bought and paid for.

Not until the revolution – if there ever is another one.

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