Shock Headline: Rising Numbers Are On The Increase.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


But no shock that today is another Pun Day!

Enjoy or endure!!




Just opened my Electric bill and my Water bill at the same time.

I was completely shocked.



The man who invented Velcro has died.





Keifer Sutherland was held up by Homeland Security

when he flew into LA airport for the

filming of the first episode of a new TV series.

They asked him the purpose of his visit and he said,

“I’m here to shoot a pilot.”

Keifer Sutherland with gun action shot


My great uncle was so stubborn,

when he died, he left a won’t.

so stubborn


“You make a very good cuppa,” she said.

“It’s my special tea,” I replied.

cup of tea



I fell down a really deep dark hole today.

I just couldn’t see that well.



There are countless films without Dracula in them.

dracula risen-fangs


Just read a really sad story about how

blind people get used to new surroundings…

Touching stuff.

blind people touching


I’ve decided to stop wearing my glasses.

It makes me look harder.

Worker looking forward, covering eyes from the sun


 A rule of grammar:

double negatives are a no-no.



So here I am trekking through the woods……

hang on, bear with me

trekking through the woods


Weighing an elephant is just like weighing a human.

But on a much bigger scale.

Weighing an elephant


I asked my boss if I could leave half an hour early the other day.

He said, ” Only if you make up the time.”

I said, ” OK. It’s 35 past 50.”         



I work in McDonald’s and a customer was rude to me today,

so I got him back by not putting any Coke in his drink.

Just ice was served.         

glass of ice cubes


Brian May is a slightly more optimistic version of Brian Cant.