Is It Just Me, Or Are There Any Other Anagrams Of Em?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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No, it’s not just me.

Loads of people like puns and pun day.

Here’s another one.

Enjoy!

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If you’re fishing for compliments

it’s best to use allure.

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I just pitched a tent in the garden.

Surprised myself how far I could throw it.

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I was telling a friend that I made a

ventriloquist’s dummy out of some old carpet.

“Any good?” he queried.

“Nah, it’s ruggish,” I replied.

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I was stunned to find my Taser gun was still switched on.

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I shouldn’t have dumped my girlfriend after

overhearing her making fun of my poor endowment.

Turned out she was a financial adviser

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I’ve been using X and Y chromosomes in my

adverts recently since, after all, sex cells…

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Last night I looked up at the stars and thought:

“It’s crap being a dwarf in Hollywood.”

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When I was young, I used to think CCTV was

a very positive Spanish television channel.

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I’ve got an injured extraterrestrial in my shed.

He’s missing an eye.

I’ve called him Alen.

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My dog’s been sitting in the corner, feeling

sorry for himself, for three days.

I knew I shouldn’t have bought a Pitiful Terrier

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I saw a headline in the local paper:

“Huge Grant Saves Derelict Theatre”.

I thought: That was nice of him.

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I’m a doctor. My wife’s a judge.

She knows how to try my patients.

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My missus says she is leaving me because of my obsession with pool.

“Come on love”, I said. “Give me a break”.

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I thought I’d dug up an unknown species

of dinosaur in my back garden.

Excitedly I phoned the Natural History Museum,

but it turned out to be a fossil arm.

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I’ve taken thousands of showers over the years.

Never been caught once.

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A friend asked me if I knew any words that could describe relief.

I told him I know a phew

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I bought a new thesaurus today.

It’s nothing to write house about.

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I went for a colonic irrigation today,

then got hit with a huge $659 bill.

It really cleaned me out.

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I phoned up the incontinence hotline today and

the lady on the other end asked where I’m ringing from.

I said, “From the waist down.”

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What do Mexican Robots Eat?

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Punitive, Punishing, Or Just Punny? – Here Are Some More Puns

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

 

Another excuse for more bad jokes using the cover of some clever word plays called puns.

Enjoy – if you can.

 

 

You didn’t hear about the three big holes in the ground?

Well, well, well.

 

 

Even a backward poet writes inverse.

 

 

It was raining cats and dogs.

There were poodles all over the road.

 

 

When chemists die, we barium.

 

 

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?

He’s all right now.

 

 

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang,

but eventually it came back to me.

 

 

I used to have a fear of hurdles,

but I got over it.

 

 

It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle,

he just didn’t have the balls to do it.

 

 

He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

 

 

Some people’s noses and feet are built backwards:

their feet smell and their noses run.

 

 

Then there was the cross-eyed teacher who couldn’t control his pupils.

 

 

When a clock is hungry does it go back four seconds?

 

 

Have you heard about that online origami store?

It folded.

 

 

A prisoner’s favorite punctuation mark is the period.

It marks the end of his sentence.

 

 

Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends,

but what would be the point?

 

 

Atheists can’t solve exponential equations because they don’t believe in higher powers.

 

 

It is tough to do inventories in Afghanistan because of the tally ban.

 

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