It’s International Litarasy Day 2day

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Final Pun Day.

For this January that is. I hope I didn’t get your hopes up .  🙂

Here we go.

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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The Inventor of the jug died today.

Tributes have been pouring in.

jug

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I asked my friend if he is a compulsive shouter.

The answer was a resounding yes.

compulsive-shouter

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Caught a bloke in the changing room earlier,

holding my jacket saying he thought it was his!

I think he was trying it on.

hip-hop-man-holding-jacket-12834831

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I don’t like my wife going out drinking

with the girls from the nail bar.

They always end up getting hammered.

nail bar

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This girl, Rene Wals, is obsessed with me.

She keeps sending me emails.

She works at GoDaddy, but I think she’s a moron

— she spells her name “Renewals.”

GoDaddy-Email-Login

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The first rule of Palindrome Club is

si bulC emordnilaP fo elur tsrif ehT.

Palindrome Club

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Is a woman who can’t have a baby,

unbearable, impregnable or inconceivable?

woman who can't have a baby

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My girlfriend was complaining

that I never buy her flowers.

I didn’t even know she sold them.

woman selling flowers

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My wife asked me how much I like

the new GPS she bought for me

I replied, “Well, I’d be lost without it.”

new GPS

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I think I first realized that my drinking

had got out of control when my doctor

referred me to a Bacardiologist.

Bacardi

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I call my weed “The Quran”

Because burning that shit will get you stoned.

burning weed

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My wife found out that I’d been moving her

bookmark forward a few pages every night.

She really lost the plot.

bookmark in book

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I was checking out this blonde girl,

when the librarian said,

“Sir, we only lend out books in here.”

librarian

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Girlfriend: You have to make a choice,

it’s either me or your career as a news reporter.

Me: Well, I’ve got some news for you then.

news reporter

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A teacher asks her class

“Can anyone tell me the name of Robin Hood’s girlfriend?”

Little Paddy raises his hand and says

“Yes Miss, it’s Trudy Glen.”

“No Paddy, the answer is Maid Marion.”

“But Miss, what about the song?

Robin Hood, Robin Hood, riding Trudy Glen.”

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= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

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A Monday Quiz

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, it’s another Monday quiz here at the fasab blog.

Some tough questions this week, but a few multi-pointers so you still have the chance to score well.

Enjoy and very good luck.

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Quiz_button 02

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Q.  1:  Which Olympic superstar was nicknamed ‘The Czech Locomotive’?

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Q.  2:  Which two Disney ‘characters’ appear in the Bond movie ‘Diamonds Are Forever’?

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Q.  3:  ‘Yamazaki’ is a prize winning what?

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Q.  4:  Which fictional character was well versed in Latin and Greek, played excellent whist, spoke French and Spanish, was tone deaf and suffered from mal de mer?

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Q.  5:  What is the name of the largest mountain range in both Iran and Iraq?

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Q.  6:  We know this famous singer as ‘Sting’, but what is his real name?

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Q.  7:  Bellus, a rogue red star and its companion planet Zyra threaten the earth and cause a Noah’s Ark like scenario in which classic science fiction movie?

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Q.  8:  The name of which trendy beverage translated means ‘stained milk’?

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Q.  9:  Who dictated the Qur’an to Muhammad?

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Q. 10:  In the classic movie ‘Casablanca’, what were the last names for each of the following characters? One point for each correct answer.

a. Rick

b. Ilsa

c. Victor

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Q. 11:  What is the most populated city north of the Arctic Circle?

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Q. 12:  What was Sir Percy Blakeney’s colourful nickname?

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Q. 13:  What is Barrack Obama’s middle name?

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Q. 14:  What does the Greek root ‘hipp’ mean?

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Q. 15:  Which word meaning uproarious is derived from the nickname that was given to the psychiatric institution The Hospital of St. Mary of Bethlehem in London?

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Q. 16:  There are two famous David statues in Florence Italy. Who created  

    a. the bronze David (circa 1435) and

    b. the marble David (1501-1504)?

    (A point for each.)

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Q. 17:  The name of which little island country, popular with tourists, stems from the Portuguese for ‘bearded ones’?

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Q. 18:  Why did Edward VIII have to abdicate in 1936?

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Q. 19:  Twelve English actresses have won the Academy Award for best actress. Can you name them? One point for each correct answer.

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Q. 20:  What is the name of the deaf, dumb and blind kid who sure plays a mean pinball?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  Which Olympic superstar was nicknamed ‘The Czech Locomotive’?

A.  1:  Emil Zatopek.

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Q.  2:  Which two Disney ‘characters’ appear in the Bond movie ‘Diamonds Are Forever’?

A.  2:  Bambi and Thumper. (The two female bodyguards)

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Q.  3:  ‘Yamazaki’ is a prize winning what?

A.  3:  Japanese whiskey.

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Q.  4:  Which fictional character was well versed in Latin and Greek, played excellent whist, spoke French and Spanish, was tone deaf and suffered from mal de mer?

A.  4:  Horatio Hornblower.

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Q.  5:  What is the name of the largest mountain range in both Iran and Iraq?

A.  5:  The Zagros mountains.

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Q.  6:  We know this famous singer as ‘Sting’, but what is his real name?

A.  6:  Gordon Sumner.

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Q.  7:  Bellus, a rogue red star and its companion planet Zyra threaten the earth and cause a Noah’s Ark like scenario in which classic science fiction movie?

A.  7:  When Worlds Collide (1951).

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Q.  8:  The name of which trendy beverage translated means ‘stained milk’?

A.  8:  Latte macchiato.

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Q.  9:  Who dictated the Qur’an to Muhammad?

A.  9:  The angel Jibril (Gabriel).

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Q. 10:  In the classic movie ‘Casablanca’, what were the last names for each of the following characters? One point for each correct answer.

a. Rick

b. Ilsa

c. Victor

A. 10:  Their last names were

a. Rick BLAINE

b. Ilsa LUND

c. Victor LASZLO

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Q. 11:  What is the most populated city north of the Arctic Circle?

A. 11:  Murmansk.

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Q. 12:  What was Sir Percy Blakeney’s colourful nickname?

A. 12:  The Scarlet Pimpernel.

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Q. 13:  What is Barrack Obama’s middle name?

A. 13:  Hussein.

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Q. 14:  What does the Greek root ‘hipp’ mean?

A. 14:  Horse.

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Q. 15:  Which word meaning uproarious is derived from the nickname that was given to the psychiatric institution The Hospital of St. Mary of Bethlehem in London?

A. 15:  Bedlam.

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Q. 16:  There are two famous David statues in Florence Italy. Who created  

    a. the bronze David (circa 1435) and

    b. the marble David (1501-1504)?

    (A point for each.)

A. 16:  a. the bronze David was created by Donatello (Donato di Nicola di Betto Bardi)

    b. the marble David was created by Michaelangelo.

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Q. 17:  The name of which little island country, popular with tourists, stems from the Portuguese for ‘bearded ones’?

A. 17:  Barbados.

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Q. 18:  Why did Edward VIII have to abdicate in 1936?

A. 18:  He wanted to marry Mrs Simpson, a divorcee.

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Q. 19:  Twelve English actresses have won the Academy Award for best actress. Can you name them? One point for each correct answer.

A. 19:  Vivien Leigh, Joan Fontaine, Greer Garson, Olivia de Havilland, Elizabeth Taylor, Julie Andrews, Julie Christie, Maggie Smith, Glenda Jackson, Emma Thompson, Helen Mirren and Kate Winslet.

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Q. 20:  What is the name of the deaf, dumb and blind kid who sure plays a mean pinball?

A. 20:  Tommy.

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