One Of Today’s Facts Is Really A No Brainer!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, one of today’s facts in a ‘no-brainer’, but hopefully interesting as well.

There are lots of others too on a range of unrelated subjects.

So peruse at you leisure and….

Enjoy.

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did you know4

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April 4, June 6, October 10 and December 12

will all fall on the same day of the week in any year.

These days are called ‘doomsdays’,

and they are meant to help calculate

the day of the week of any given date.

In 2014 the doomsdays were all on Fridays

whereas 2015’s doomsdays are all on Saturday.

2015 calendar

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Milton Hershey,

the man creator of one of the

greatest chocolate bars of all time,

had tickets to be on the Titanic,

but changed his plans and did not go.

Milton Hershey

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The oldest Egyptian pyramid is

believed to be the Pyramid of Djoser

which was built in the Saqqara Necropolis

during the 27th century BC.

However, the Pyramid of Khufu

(also known as Great Pyramid of Giza

or the Pyramid of Cheops) is the largest,

its original height being 146.5 meters (481 feet)

(the current height is 138.8 meters (455 feet)).

Pyramid of Djoser

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A child born in Sweden in 1991 was named

Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116.

Which his parents said was pronounced ‘Albin’.

The name was meant as a protest

against Swedish naming laws.

The parents were fined 5,000 kronor

in 1996 (roughly 740 U.S. Dollars).

brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116

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A polar bear’s stark white fur

is not exactly what it appears to be

because their hair follicles are transparent,

hollow tubes which reflect whatever

light surrounds them.

When their fur takes on a yellowish

or greenish tint it is due to age and dirt,

while the greenish color is caused by

algae that can grow on polar bear fur

in unnaturally warm and humid environments.

polar bear’s stark white fur

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On Mars

there is something that looks exactly

like either a really tall humanoid statue.

Mars humanoid statue

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The heart pumps blood to almost all

of the body’s 75 trillion cells,

only the corneas receive no blood supply.

heart pumps blood

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About one hundred hours of video

are uploaded to YouTube every single minute.

In other words, more videos are uploaded

to YouTube in two months

than the three major US networks

created in sixty years.

hundred hours of video uploaded to YouTube every minute

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The Aston Martin factory has a

robot nicknamed the ‘James Bonder’.

That is used to apply adhesives that

bond aluminum body panels together.

Aston-Martin-production-line

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The term ‘No-brainer’ is a relatively modern

phrase used to describe making a very easy decision.

One of the earliest sources for it comes from an

issue of the Lethbridge Herald of 1968

which stated about an ice hockey coach:

“He’d break in on a goalie and the netminder

would make one of those saves that our

manager-coach, Sid Abel, calls ‘a no-brainer.’ ”

No-Brainer

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The world’s quietest room is -9 decibels,

so quiet you can hear the blood

flowing in your own body!

The silence of the room can cause

hallucinations, and the longest anyone

has ever spent in the room is 45 minutes.

world's quietest room

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The average person produces about

half a liter of fart gas per day

or about 14 farts worth on average.

Some have been clocked at speeds of 10ft per sec.

Phew!

 

Fart-Gas-Burns-Fire

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When a person becomes very stressed,

anxious or scared the frontal lobe of the

brain can sometimes be overridden which

can make you feel the need to pee

at that moment or more frequently.

Hence sayings like such and such  ..

”scared the piss out of me.”

need to pee

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In the Home Alone movie

Buzz’s girlfriend was not a girl at all,

she/he was the art director’s son

made up to look like a girl.

They thought using a real girl’s photo

would be too cruel for an actual teenage girl.

Buzz’s girlfriend

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Kelsey Grammar sings and plays the piano

for the theme song of Frasier.

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Apparently 5/3rds Of People Can’t Do Fractions.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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5/3rds? That’s almost half, isn’t it?

But never mind all that, today isn’t about mathematics, it’s about puns.

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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Recently got myself a symphony orchestra but for some reason

all they eat is lemons and strawberry shortcake.

They’re called the Bittersweet Symphony.

Bittersweet Symphony

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My brother just got his exam results

for his Double Equine Studies.

He got a G G.

GG

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My friend’s wife started her job on a cruise ship last week.

I asked him, “How is she getting on?”

He replied, “I’m not sure, I think they use a crane.”

crane

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Did you hear about the two clams

who went out on a cheap date?

They were just being shellfish.

clam-thumb-460x260

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Two geologists were staring

at a huge fissure in a cliff face

and one was overheard to say

‘It’s not my fault’.

fissure in cliff face

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I once tried telling a joke about bad postmen,

the delivery was all wrong.

cartoon-postman-running-away-from-a-dog-he-is-dropping-his-letters

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When an actress saw her first strands of

gray hair she thought she’d dye.

first grey hair

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Paddy took two stuffed dogs he had

on to the Antiques Road Show

“Ooooh,” says the presenter.

“This is a very rare breed.”

“Do you have any idea what they’d fetch

if they were in good condition?”

“I dunno.” says Paddy.

“Sticks?”

roadshow2

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My doctor reckons I’m paranoid.

He didn’t say it,

but I know he’s thinking it.

paranoid

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An elderly man with Alzheimer’s walks into a bar

and sees a rather tasty elderly woman.

He walks over and sits beside her and says,

“Do I come here often?”

old man cartoon

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It’s really difficult to find what you want on eBay.

I was searching for cigarette lighters

and found over 15,000 matches.

match and cigarette lighter

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Scientist:

“My findings are pointless when taken out of context.”

Media:

“Scientist claims ‘findings are pointless’.”

cartoon scientist

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My friend was sacked yesterday

for sexual harassment.

No one understands why,

he was always hard at work.

hard at work

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My friend just told me he saw a midget climbing

over the wall of the prison on a bed sheet.

I told him he was a little con descending.

midget

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So the young teenage girl says to her mother,

“I think I’m pregnant.”

“What?” exclaims the mother.

“But we had a talk about this.”

“I told you if a boy touches your breast you are to say ‘STOP’

and if he tries to touch you down there your are to say ‘DON’T’.”

“But Mom,” the girl replies.

“He touched them both at the same time.”

“And I shouted ‘DON’T’  ‘STOP’.”

mom-daughter-cartoon

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Help A Victimized Child And Stop The Idiots In Florida!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes folks, sadly, the idiots have invaded the state organizations in Florida too.

And they are doing what they do best  –  inflicting needless misery on ordinary decent people.

This time the victim is a teenage girl, Kiera Wilmot, who has been expelled from her school and was arrested and charged with causing a totally harmless “explosion” by mixing household products in a plastic bottle.

The incident happened when she and another pupil of the school, mixed up some common household products in a plastic bottle – having heard that something amusing might result.

They did it outdoors on school premises. The resulting “blast” was not even sufficient to rupture the plastic bottle, merely popping off the top and generating some smoke.

Unfortunately for the luckless teenager, however, an idiot was at hand in the form of an assistant principal. He called the police and idiot number two, the responding officer, phoned idiot number three, a state prosecutor (named in the police report as Assistant State Attorney Tammy Glotfelty).

Isn’t it strange they way they all know each other – there must be a Secret Idiot Network, a bit like the Masons, that you are asked to join when you are deemed to be stupid enough!

Idiot three, the Assistant State Attorney, also known as a “R-Q’er” or “Regulation Quoter”, advised that Kiera be charged with “possessing or discharging weapons or firearms at a school sponsored event or on school property” and “making, possessing, throwing, projecting, placing or discharging any destructive device”.

As a result, local education officials (idiots 4 thru whatever), decided that Kiera had to be expelled from school.

Now the poor girl will have to try to complete her education in an “expulsion program”, and faces the future stigma of a serious criminal conviction.

In case you are wondering, Kiera’s killer cocktail consisted of nothing more than toilet cleaner and aluminum foil, so if you have either or both of these in your home  –  and I bet you do  –  then I guess if the wrong idiot came along he could charge you with having bomb-making materials! Never mind, they say the weather is nice and warm at Guantanimo.

Prior to her career as a bomb-maker, Kiera had never been in trouble. Even her school principle, Ron Pritchard, told WTSP News, “She is a good kid. She has never been in trouble before. Ever.”

Ron, in my opinion, you would be a lot better off getting rid of that idiot assistant of yours who started all this nonsense, rather than a good student.

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If, having read this, you feel the urge to help Kiera, there is an online petition addressed to several relevant local officials that says:

Please, do the right thing. Drop these charges and apologize for the incredible turmoil you have created.

To go to the petition please click here

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Remember, as I say at the start of every post, we have to “Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”. Otherwise one day they might be coming for YOU!

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