SNAFU

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s never pretty when some smart ass says I told you so.

But never mind that.

“I told you so.”

There I said it.

I wrote a post “The Only Way Is Up, Unless It’s Sideways” (if you want to read it click here) that all the logic in my head told me that contrary to the Fed’s threats to raise interest rates in June they wouldn’t.

They didn’t.

Gloat, gloat.

Mind you, although I’m taking all the credit that’s going, it wasn’t that hard to figure out. Despite that it did seem to be beyond most of the ‘financial advisors’ who just swallow whatever government crap that’s going and act accordingly – and usually lose money.

So it wasn’t a great surprise to me when on Friday past, after an announcement from the Bureau of Labor Statistics that reported 280,000 jobs created in May, the promised interest-rate hike expectations have moved back to this September. My guess is still that interest rates will remain near zero for considerably longer than that. (I explained my reasoning in that other post just referred to.)

SNAFU they say in the army.

For those who don’t know, SNAFU means ‘situation normal, all f***ed up’, because that’s how it always seems in the military. Usually however they muddle through because they can always count on being bailed out by the government.

With the government it’s different. There’s no one to bail them out.

The American economy, which is currently built around a staggeringly enormous debt of $18 trillion, is slowing.

Add to that equation sluggish economic recovery on the back of a collossal and prolonged printing of money by the Fed — Quantitative Easing, they called it.

And you do not have a sound enough foundation to support raising interest rates.

Some wiser voices in the Fed – maybe just a wise voice – realize the whole thing is out of control. The Fed has hinted, prodded and sometimes just asked plainly for the government to stop reckless spending habits. But the government hasn’t tightened its belt, nor doesn’t seem likely to.

What this really means is that a hike in interest rates too soon or too fast risks not only a market crash, but also a catastrophic mess for the government — and as I said in  my previous article on the subject 2016 is an election year so there probably won’t be much boat rocking going on.

Stay tuned for what happens in September, I still have some humble pie in the freezer if I need it.

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Famous Last Words Of An Idiot – “I Have A Plan…”

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Many stupid crimes happen every day. And most of them are committed by stupid criminals.

Unfortunately most of the stories we never get to hear about, but occasionally we do.

Like this one, which must rank as one of the dumbest ever!

It happened in a place called Mullins, SC. The perpetrator, or would-be perpetrator, was a ‘genius’ called Laquain Deshawn Guy and he had the idea that he would rob an Arby’s fast food restaurant.

Lots of cash in there, he thought, not considering that most of the takings would be banked at the end of business.

That was his first mistake.

His second was failing to break into the restaurant using either a back door or a window.

No, this genius had a better idea.

He thought he would climb on to the roof of the building and gain entrance through the ventilation shaft. That is the story told by Captain Joe Graham with the Mullins police and I see no reason at all to doubt him.

The main reason being that criminal mastermind Laquain Deshawn Guy found to his surprise that he didn’t fit the ventilation shaft – and promptly wedged himself in there just as tight as he could.

The more he struggled the worse it got.

Man, was he stuck!

And he remained stuck for the next ten hours, until an Arby’s employee was opening the business Tuesday morning and he heard “noises”. I like to think that the noises were the farts being squeezed out of him as he got wedged in tighter and tighter, but nobody will confirm this.

The employee immediately called the police and that’s when they realized that the strange noises were coming from the very stuck Laquain still wedged inside the shaft.

Mullins Fire and Rescue eventually freed the idiot by cutting the ventilation pipe and pulling him through the roof, where he emerged dehydrated and with some muscle damage.

Crews then lowered him down and onto a stretcher and took him to hospital where he spent a few days before facing charges of Burglary Second Degree.

What a moron!

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SURPRISE! Today Is The First Test Of 2013

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I thought we should start the year off with a little intellectual stimulation, in other words twenty test questions to get you all thinking.

It has been a while since we had one so I hope you are ready, willing and able.

As usual some of the questions are difficult, some are easy, some are a bit tricky and some are a combination of these.

Enjoy!

(The answers are waaaaaay down below, but please, no cheating!)

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Q  1. What is the collective term for a group of ravens?

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Q  2. How long did the Hundred Years War last?

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Q  3. What does the “WD” in WD-40 stand for?

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Q  4. An encyclopedia consists of ten volumes (sitting next to each other, in order, on a shelf). Each volume contains one thousand pages. Excluding the covers of each volume, how many pages are between the first page of the encyclopedia and the last?

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Q  5. Who was the first US President to visit China?

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Q  6. In a group of siblings, there are seven sisters, and each sister has one brother. How many siblings are there in total?

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Q  7. The first subway system in America was built in which city?

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Q  8. Forward I’m heavy, backwards I’m not. What am I?

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Q  9. Who received the Keys to the City of Detroit in 1980?

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Q 10. How many 3-cent stamps in a dozen?

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Q 11. Billie was born on December 28th, yet her birthday always falls in the summer. How is this possible?

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Q 12. Which is correct to say, “The yolk of the egg is white” or “The yolk of the egg are white?”

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Q 13. A farmer has five haystacks in one field and four haystacks in another. How many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in one field?

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Q 14. A man gave one son 10 cents and another son was given 15 cents. What time is it?

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Q 15. If you had only one match and entered a room in which there was a kerosene lamp, an oil heater, and a woodburning stove, which would you light first?

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Q 16. What is it that goes up and goes down but does not move?

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Q 17. I am the owner of a pet store. If I put in one canary per cage, I have one bird too many. If I put in two canaries per cage, I have one cage too many. How many cages and canaries do I have?

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Q 18. Rearrange the letters in the words “new door” to make one word.

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Q 19. A mile-long train is moving at sixty miles an hour when it reaches a mile-long tunnel. How long does it take the entire train to pass through the tunnel?

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Q 20. What number comes next?

2, 2, 4, 12, 48, ___

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ANSWERS

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Q  1. What is the collective term for a group of ravens?

A  1. A group of ravens is called a murder.

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Q  2. How long did the Hundred Years War last?

A  2. The Hundred Years War lasted for 116 years

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Q  3. What does the “WD” in WD-40 stand for

A  3. The WD in WD-40 stands for Water Displacer

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Q  4. An encyclopedia consists of ten volumes (sitting next to each other, in order, on a shelf). Each volume contains one thousand pages. Excluding the covers of each volume, how many pages are between the first page of the encyclopedia and the last?

A  4. Eight thousand. When books sit on shelves, the first page of the book is the rightmost page, and the last page is the leftmost page. So you can’t count the pages in the first and last volumes.

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Q  5. Who was the first US President to visit China?

A  5. The first United States president to visit China was Richard Nixon

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Q  6. In a group of siblings, there are seven sisters, and each sister has one brother. How many siblings are there in total?

A  6. Eight, if each sister has just the one brother.

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Q  7. The first subway system in America was built in which city?

A  7. Most people guess New York, but the first subway system in America was built in Boston, Massachusetts in 1897.

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Q  8. Forward I’m heavy, backwards I’m not. What am I?

A  8. ton

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Q  9. Who received the Keys to the City of Detroit in 1980?

A  9. Saddam Hussein received the keys to the city of Detroit in recognition of large donations to a church. Oh, yes he did!!!

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Q 10. How many 3-cent stamps in a dozen?

A 10. Er… A Dozen, 12. I hope you didn’t say 4.

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Q 11. Billie was born on December 28th, yet her birthday always falls in the summer. How is this possible?

A 11. Billie lives in the southern hemisphere.

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Q 12. Which is correct to say, “The yolk of the egg is white” or “The yolk of the egg are white?”

A 12. Neither. Egg yolks are yellow.

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Q 13. A farmer has five haystacks in one field and four haystacks in another. How many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in one field?

A 13. One. If he combines all his haystacks, they all become one big stack.

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Q 14. A man gave one son 10 cents and another son was given 15 cents. What time is it?

A 14. The time is 1:45. The man gave away a total of 25 cents. He divided it between two people. Therefore, he gave a quarter to two.

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Q 15. If you had only one match and entered a room in which there was a kerosene lamp, an oil heater, and a woodburning stove, which would you light first?

A 15. The match.

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Q 16. What is it that goes up and goes down but does not move?

A 16. Temperature.

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Q 17. I am the owner of a pet store. If I put in one canary per cage, I have one bird too many. If I put in two canaries per cage, I have one cage too many. How many cages and canaries do I have?

A 17. Four canaries and three cages.

If you put one canary in each cage, you have an extra bird without a cage. However, if you put two canaries in each cage then you have two canaries in the first cage, two canaries in the second cage and an extra cage.

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Q 18. Rearrange the letters in the words “new door” to make one word.

A 18. “new door” can be rearranged into “one word”

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Q 19. A mile-long train is moving at sixty miles an hour when it reaches a mile-long tunnel. How long does it take the entire train to pass through the tunnel?

A 19. 2 minutes (The back of the train would be at the beginning of the tunnel after 1 minute, and would leave the end of the tunnel at the 2 minute mark.

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Q 20. What number comes next?

2, 2, 4, 12, 48, ___

A 20. 240.

To get the number, multiply the previous number in the series by its position.

48 is in the 5th position, so 48 × 5 = 240

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