Did They Really Mean To Say That? Newspaper Headlines Nightmares, Part Five!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Some more newspaper headlines today.

It’s quite amazing the capacity people have to get things wrong.

Worse if the result is on view to the general public.

Here is the latest batch.

Enjoy.

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np_pornstarsues

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np_povertymeeting

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np_psychicspredict

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np_republicanssplit

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np_scottwantsheadjob

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np_seeingwormafterbowelmovement

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np_seniorluncheon

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np_sewagespill

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np_sexteacher

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np_slowdowncontinutestoaccelerate

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np_starvationcanleadtohealthproblems

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np_suicidebombers

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np_suspectspic

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np_teenpregnancy

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It’s Better To Love A Short Girl Than Not A Tall.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It may be better to love a short girl than not a tall, but it’s definitely better to have a read at some puns than not at all.

Another selection guaranteed to extract a few laughs or groans.

Enjoy!

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I’m going out tonight to prove I can travel by bus without a valid ticket.

I’ll let you know how I got on.

bus stop

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I feel that geographical puns are beneath me;

there’s Norway I’d go Oslo as that.

Maths puns are the first sine of madness.

My wife said she’s getting fed up of my constant guitar puns.

I told her not to fret.

view-of-human-fingers-on-guitar-fret-board

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What is yellow and white, and throws itself off the edge of the dining table?

A lemming meringue.

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My dentist just won ‘dentist of the year’

All he got was a little plaque.

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Pancake day really crepe’d up on me this year.

Pancakes

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Suicide bombers: what makes them tick?

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I used to have a job operating an elevator.

It had its ups and downs…

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A bloke walks into a pub and orders himself a pint.

He notices Vincent Van Gogh is sitting on the next barstool and asks him if he wants a pint, too.

“No thanks,” replies Vincent. “I’ve got one ear.”

van gogh

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My mate said he had a new job at a Bowling Alley.

I said, “Ten Pin?”

He replied, “No – it’s permanent.”

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Sea captains don’t like crew cuts.

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Exit signs. They’re on the way out, aren’t they?”

exit

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