Starting: What Jamaican Astronomers Look At.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Starting with a star ting must mean it’s Pun Day.

Another selection of word plays for you to ….

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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Sadly, the man who invented

the raffle has passed away.

R.I.P Tom Bola.

Tom Bola

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I’ve been merciless with my French class.

I get no thanks.

merci

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I was standing on soft ground

but I didn’t realize at first

because it took a while to sink in.

soft ground

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If you give a physicist to a cannibal,

he’ll eat Faraday.

cartoon-cannibal-fork-13783193

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I’ve read ‘Plumbing For Dummies’ twice and

I still haven’t got a clue what I’m doing.

I guess it’s going to take another

few reads before this sinks in.

Plumbing For Dummies

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If your dad had a sex change,

would he be your transparent.

sex-change_clinic_you_again_234695

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Chinese censors are trying to

ban the use of puns in the media.

This is the wong move, and I hope

Western governments don’t panda to it.

panda

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I’m beginning to see loads of second

hand shops opening up in my area.

Surely selling the complete clock

would be more profitable???

second hand shops

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I just built a huge tower of books.

It had to be like 50 stories.

huge tower of books

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When David Rockefeller was asked to make

a contribution to the American conservation movement,

he planted two Bushes in the White House.

two Bushes in the White House

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Have you seen the new

’30 minutes or it’s free’

cocaine home delivery service?

They call it Instagram.

cocaine home delivery service

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My boyfriend took me out in his new Ferrari last night,

and spent the whole time going on about acceleration,

power-to-weight ratios, handling and braking efficiency,

before dropping me at home and zooming off into the night. 

Frankly, I was hoping for less torque and more action.

new Ferrari 2015

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I went to the doctor because

of my morbid fear of breasts.

He said I’m suffering from

aracknophobia.

Got-Rack-Girls_r7_c1

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I met this dwarf called Peter the other day,

he’s a baker and he was telling

me all about baking flatbreads,

it was fascinating.

I love to hear the

Pita patter of tiny Pete.

flatbread

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Music puns,

Not everyone can Handel them…

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= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

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Need Your Brains Tested? Then You’ve Come To The Right Place. It’s Quiz Day!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A few years ago a friend of mine who was experiencing headaches was sent for a brain scan.

Later I asked him how he got on.

“They couldn’t find anything,” he replied very relieved.

“I could have told you that and saved you a lot of money,” I told him and laughed.

He never got the joke.

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But on to today’s brain test.

Another twenty easy, hard and tricky questions for you to try.

As usual the answers are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below – but NO cheating!

Best of luck.

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quiz 06

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Q.  1:  Which rabbit was the hero of some of Beatrix Potter’s stories?

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Q.  2:  In which of the arts did Vaslav Nijinsky make his mark?

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Q.  3:  Which diminutive and very young Russian gymnast was a star of the 1972 Olympics?

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Q.  4:  Which land mammal has the highest blood pressure?  (Obvious if you think about it.)

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Q.  5:  Which ‘big man’ is credited with discovering a route through the Cumberland Pass in frontier America?

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Q.  6:  What kind of electricity can be produced by combing your hair?

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Q.  7:  The sound of screaming demons leaving Regan’s body in the movie ‘The Exorcist’ is actually a recording of what?

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Q.  8:  Yachting, which country held the Americas Cup from 1932 till 1983?

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Q.  9:  1981 saw the abolition of which means of execution in France?

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Q. 10:  Who is the only man to have won the  SAME  Grand Slam singles title in tennis on three different surfaces?

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Q. 11:  Which drink is named after those who once owned large tracks of land in the eastern part of North America?

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Q. 12:  According to Plato, what was found just beyond the Pillars of Hercules?

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Q. 13:  Which heavenly fortified dessert wine is one of, if not the oldest wine from California?

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Q. 14:  What was the name given to the first nuclear test in the USA on the 16th of July 1945?

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Q. 15:  In the movie industry, which name is given to an ordinary on set helper?

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Q. 16:  What is the S shaped sound hole in a violin called?

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Q. 17:  Which word used to describe someone who is skillful means, when translated, ‘to the right’?

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Q. 18:  Which world famous landmark is found on Mount Lee?

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Q. 19:  If you were awarded 10 points in the UK for using it but only 1 point in Poland, what would you be doing?

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Q. 20:  Which infamous cleaning term was coined by US journalist Edward Hunter in the early 1950s?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  Which rabbit was the hero of some of Beatrix Potter’s stories?

A.  1:  Peter Rabbit.

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Q.  2:  In which of the arts did Vaslav Nijinsky make his mark?

A.  2:  Ballet.

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Q.  3:  Which diminutive and very young Russian gymnast was a star of the 1972 Olympics?

A.  3:  Olga Korbut.

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Q.  4:  Which land mammal has the highest blood pressure?  (Obvious if you think about it.)

A.  4:  The giraffe.

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Q.  5:  Which ‘big man’ is credited with discovering a route through the Cumberland Pass in frontier America?

A.  5:  Daniel Boone.

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Q.  6:  What kind of electricity can be produced by combing your hair?

A.  6:  Static electricity.

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Q.  7:  The sound of screaming demons leaving Regan’s body in the movie ‘The Exorcist’ is actually a recording of what?

A.  7:  A pig or pigs being led to the slaughter.

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Q.  8:  Yachting, which country held the Americas Cup from 1932 till 1983?

A.  8:  The USA.

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Q.  9:  1981 saw the abolition of which means of execution in France?

A.  9:  Guillotine.

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Q. 10:  Who is the only man to have won the  SAME  Grand Slam singles title in tennis on three different surfaces?

A. 10:  Jimmy Conners won the US Open title on grass, on clay and on hard court.

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Q. 11:  Which drink is named after those who once owned large tracks of land in the eastern part of North America?

A. 11:  Bourbon. (After the house of Bourbon royal family).

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Q. 12:  According to Plato, what was found just beyond the Pillars of Hercules?

A. 12:  Atlantis.

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Q. 13:  Which heavenly fortified dessert wine is one of, if not the oldest wine from California?

A. 13:  Angelica.

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Q. 14:  What was the name given to the first nuclear test in the USA on the 16th of July 1945?

A. 14:  Trinity.

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Q. 15:  In the movie industry, which name is given to an ordinary on set helper?

A. 15:  A ‘Grip’. (You’ll see them mentioned in every movie credit.)

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Q. 16:  What is the ‘S’ shaped sound hole in a violin called?

A. 16:  It is called the ‘f-hole’.

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Q. 17:  Which word used to describe someone who is skillful means, when translated, ‘to the right’?

A. 17:  Adroit.

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Q. 18:  Which world famous landmark is found on Mount Lee?

A. 18:  The Hollywood Sign.

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Q. 19:  If you were awarded 10 points in the UK for using it but only 1 point in Poland, what would you be doing?

A. 19:  Playing Scrabble. It is the different values given to the letter ‘Z’ for obvious reasons.

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Q. 20:  Which infamous cleaning term was coined by US journalist Edward Hunter in the early 1950s?

A. 20:  Brainwashing. (During the Korean War)

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What Would Mondays Be Without Another Quiz?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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What would Mondays be without another quiz to get the intellect moving.

They’re random, they’re easy except for the difficult ones, and one or two are a bit tricky.

Try them out and see how you do.

The answers are waaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy.

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quiz7

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Q  1:  Which city in the world has the most hotel rooms?

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Q  2:  What is a baby kangaroo called?

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Q  3:  The wheelbarrow was invented by whom?

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Q  4:  Who was the first player to win $1 million on the PGA Tour?

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Q  5:  Who is known as Rashin Coatie in Scotland, Zezolla in Italy, and Yeh-hsien in China?

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Q  6:  What is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt.”

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Q  7:  What world’s best-selling book, is also the world’s most shoplifted book?

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Q  8:  How are Warren Beatty and Shirley McLaine related?

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Q  9:  What is the only country with a square flag?

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Q 10:  What is the only US state that has borders with only one other US state.

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Q 11:  The largest taxi fleet in the world is found in which city?

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Q 12:  What is the largest landlocked country in the world?

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Q 13:  Dogs, monkeys and humans have been sent into space, but never birds. Why?

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Q 14:  What question can you never answer “yes” to without lying?

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Q 15:  How many birthdays does the average man have?

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Q 16:  What turns everything around without moving?     

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Q 17:  What type of building has the most stories?        

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Q 18:  Hydroxydesoxycorticosterone and hydroxydeoxycorticosterones are the largest what?

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Q 19:  In which American city are there famously fewer people than there are automobiles.

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Q 20:  What movie character is also known as “Mr. Kiss-Kiss-Bang-Bang”?

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ANSWERS

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Q  1:  Which city in the world has the most hotel rooms?

A  1:  Las Vegas

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Q  2:  What is a baby kangaroo called?

A  2:  A joey

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Q  3:  The wheelbarrow was invented by whom?

A  3:  The Chinese.

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Q  4:  Who was the first player to win $1 million on the PGA Tour?

A  4:  Arnold Palmer

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Q  5:  Who is known as Rashin Coatie in Scotland, Zezolla in Italy, and Yeh-hsien in China?

A  5:  Cinderella

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Q  6:  What is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt.”

A  6:  “Dreamt”

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Q  7:  What world’s best-selling book, is also the world’s most shoplifted book?

A  7:  The Bible

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Q  8:  How are Warren Beatty and Shirley McLaine related?

A  8:  They are brother and sister.

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Q  9:  What is the only country with a square flag?

A  9:  Switzerland

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Q 10:  What is the only US state that has borders with only one other US state.

A 10:  Maine

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Q 11:  The largest taxi fleet in the world is found in which city?

A 11:  Mexico City. The city boasts a fleet of over 60,000 taxis.

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Q 12:  What is the largest landlocked country in the world?

A 12:  Mongolia

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Q 13:  Dogs, monkeys and humans have been sent into space, but never birds. Why?

A 13:  Because they would soon die; birds need gravity to swallow.

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Q 14:  What question can you never answer “yes” to without lying?

A 14:   “Are you asleep?”

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Q 15:  How many birthdays does the average man have?

A 15:  One. Every year you celebrate that day in which you were born – but it is not your ‘birth day’.

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Q 16:  What turns everything around without moving?     

A  16:  A Mirror

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Q 17:  What type of building has the most stories?        

A 17:  Library

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Q 18:  Hydroxydesoxycorticosterone and hydroxydeoxycorticosterones are the largest what?

A 18:  Hydroxydesoxycorticosterone and hydroxydeoxycorticosterones are the largest anagrams.

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Q 19:  In which American city are there famously fewer people than there are automobiles.

A 19:  Los Angeles or L.A.

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Q 20:  What movie character is also known as “Mr. Kiss-Kiss-Bang-Bang”?

A 20:  James Bond

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