“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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It’s not only boomerangs that are making a comeback – so are puns!
And I continue to do my little bit here on the fasab blog to help them.
So read on and enjoy!
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Any time I get something stuck in my throat,
I just dislodge it by drinking a pint of lager.
It’s called the Heineken Maneuver.
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I saw a sign on the road while driving today that said,
Survey crew ahead.
I did. They looked okay.
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Me and my friends played a football match against a load of Marines yesterday.
At half time they brought on a Chinese bloke.
I thought to myself, he’s a yellow sub marine.
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Ever since I filled up my Zippo
I haven’t been able to lift it out of my pocket.
I think I need some lighter fluid.
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A girl winked at me across the room in Maths class today;
I think it was a sine…
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I’m the kinda guy who,
when asked to spell something over the phone,
says ‘G….for gnome’ just to throw them.
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My friend once decided to stick an arrow in the ground.
I couldn’t see the point.
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Whenever I write a letter to someone,
I add a footnote briefly explaining Ohm’s law.
It’s my P.S. de resistance.
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I’ve started dating Little Red Riding Hood’s gran.
She’s an animal in bed.
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I’m just a farmer’s laborer,
but when girls ask what I do,
I find ‘Farm assist’ sounds better.
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I told a girl she drew her eyebrows on too high.
She looked pretty surprised.
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I heard that women have one breast bigger than the other,
or is that just bollocks?
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I was arguing with my girlfriend in Pizza Hut the other day
when my best friend came over, grabbed the garlic bread
and coleslaw from our table and ran off.
I wish he would stop taking sides.
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I asked the hotel receptionist for a wake-up call.
Next morning, she rang and said,
“what are you doing with your life?”
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I used to be really good at reading braille.
But I lost my touch.
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Just got myself a new Czech girlfriend,
but it’s taken her 5 days to hoover the house.
Turns out she’s a Slovak.
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My local gas station had a letter stolen from its sign last night.
Not to worry though, the company’s sending out an Esso S.
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The day that Microsoft creates a product that doesn’t suck
is the day that they venture into the vacuum cleaner industry.
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When a bomb passes its sell by date, does it go off?
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If Russia invaded Turkey from the rear,
would Greece help?
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fasab 