Sweaty Palms And Underarms – I Smell Fact Day!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, today’s selection of facts includes sweaty palms and underarms.

You may be surprised by these and some of the other offerings below.

Enjoy.

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did you know5

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A person can only remember

four things at a time.

remember four things at a time

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And speaking of four,

of the four smokestacks on the Titanic,

only three were real working chimneys,

the fourth was totally for decoration only.

four smokestacks on the Titanic

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Palm sweat can be triggered by two separate things,

your body trying to control its temperature

or trying to cope with emotional stress,

both of which are closely linked.

Palm sweat

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In July of 1518 a woman began to

dance in the street in Stasbourg.

She was eventually joined by about 400 dancers.

It’s not clear exactly how many people died

due to this ‘dancing plague’, but some

definitely died from heart attack,

stroke or exhaustion.

Dancing-Plague-1518

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The Great Pyramid of Giza is the oldest of

the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World

and the last one still in existence.

Great Pyramid of Giza

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In his entire career (so far) James Bond

has been shot at 4,662 times.

james_bond

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The blue whale has the largest heart

weighing over 1,500 pounds.

blue whale has the largest heart

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Although polar bears are usually born on land,

they spend most of their time at sea.

Their scientific name Ursus Maritimus

means ‘maritime bear’.

polar-bear-ursus-maritimus-underwater--19238

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When a person gets right to the precise point

or says something that is verified as correct it is

often said that they have ‘hit the nail on the head’.

The exact origin of the phrase is not known,

but it appeared for the first time in print in

1438 in The Book of Margery Kempe.

hit the nail on the head

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7,000 deaths occur each year because

of doctors’ sloppy handwriting.

doctors' sloppy handwriting

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According to the Australian census,

Melbourne has the largest Greek population

outside Greece with over 150,000 people

being of Greek origin, which technically

makes Melbourne the sixth biggest city

in terms of Greek population.

Melbourne largest Greek population

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The sweat from a man’s underarm

can help women relax,

boost their mood and

help regulate their menstrual cycle,

if applied to her lips.

There you are ladies, now you know.

sweat from a man's underarm

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Mongol fleets tried to conquer Japan

twice in 7 years, but both times

they were stopped by a typhoon.

These events were described as

Kamikaze or ‘Divine Wind’.

Kamikaze or ‘Divine Wind’

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Thomas Jefferson and John Adams

both died on July 4th

on the 50th Anniversary of

the Declaration of Independence.

Thomas Jefferson and John Adams

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Psy’s “Gangnam Style” is

the most watched YouTube video ever

with nearly 2.2 billion views and counting.

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Clones Are People Two.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Great news today!

The September puns start here.

I know you will, but I’ll say it anyway.

Enjoy!

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My son broke his Apple computer today and

had the audacity to ask me to buy him a new one.

I just told him, “Apples don’t grow on trees you know!”

pun apple tree

 

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I didn’t hear the sea when I held a Shell up.

I did, however, get six years in jail

for armed robbery of a gas station.

pun shell gas station

 

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NBC have commissioned my new show about

what goes on inside an airplane cockpit.

We’re filming the pilot next week.

pun pilot

 

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A man walks into a library and says

“I hope you don’t have a book on reverse psychology.”

pun reverse-psychology1

 

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People used to tell me being blind would

hinder my chances of becoming a comedian.

Who’s laughing now?

pun blind-turkey-farmer

 

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My cheating ex-girlfriend was called Tulsa.

Looking back, she was aslut.

pun tulsa aslut

 

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My friend recently moved in with his girlfriend

and her massive magazine collection.

But when she refused to part with them he left her.

Apparently she had too many issues.

pun too many issues

 

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I’m not worried about the Third World War.

That’s the Third World’s Problem.

pun Third World

 

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I have got a bit of a reputation as a ladies man in my local bar.

All I can say is, they smell so much cleaner than the gents.

pun toilet-cologne-stadium

 

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Some guy broke into my house last night.

Thankfully the only thing he took was one of my bullets.

pun santa-burglar

 

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My father’s answer to everything was alcohol.

He didn’t drink, he was just bad at quizzes.

pun simpsonsgood46

 

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I recently went on a holiday to a place called Romania.

It was useless; no one was even rowing.

pun rowing

 

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A guy I know has invented a new hobby

called “blindfold plane watching”.

Can’t see it taking off.

pun blindfolded

 

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I was watching a DVD on my laptop when I thought,

“Maybe it would be better if I put it in.”

pun laptop-with-open-dvd-tray-and-usb-flash-drive

 

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My wife told me she was absolutely fed up with the world.

“Why?” I asked

“Arrogant people like you!” she screamed back.

I said “Yeah they do, don’t they?”

pun cocksure

 

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Someone has been pretending to be Mr T by using a similar name,

but no-one knows his real identity.

It’s a Mr E.

pun mr t

 

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I’m reading a book about the Titanic at the moment,

and the experts speculate that the designer of the Titanic had a lisp.

That’s unthinkable!

pun titanic

 

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I went to the shop and said, “I need a battery so I can tell the time.”

The man said, “Is it for a clock?”

I said, “How do I know, that’s why I asked you for a battery.”

pun cartoon for a clock

 

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I won $2 million on the lottery this weekend

so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

Now I have $ 1,999,999.75.

pun united_states_quarter

 

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I’ll leave you with a word of warning.

pun beware

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Did You Know? The Facts – Just Gimme The Facts.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Just gimme the facts it says in the title and that’s exactly what you get.

It’s another interesting fact day at the fasab blog.

Enjoy.

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did you know3

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The word “moose” comes from the native

Algonquian Indian word meaning “twig eater.”

Did You Know moose

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Before he wrote Jaws,

Peter Benchley was a speechwriter for LBJ.

Did You Know LBJ-Benchley_WhiteHouse_roundtable

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In 1728, the philosopher Voltaire got rich by outsmarting the lottery.

When the French government accidentally created a raffle where the prize money

was significantly larger than the cost of all the tickets combined,

Voltaire and his friend formed a syndicate, bought all the tickets, and won.

Did You Know Voltaire

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It takes the Hubble telescope about 97 minutes to complete an orbit of the Earth.

On average, the Hubble uses the equivalent amount of energy

as 30 household lightbulbs to complete an orbit.

Did You Know hubble-space-telescope

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There are over 100 styles of BluBlocker sunglasses available on the market

Did You Know blublocker

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People didn’t always say “hello” when they answered the phone.

When the first regular phone service was established in 1878,

people said “ahoy.”

Did You Know telephone ahoy

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One of the Bond girls in the James Bond movie,

“For Your Eyes Only,”

used to be a man

Did You Know bond girl fyeo carolyn

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The word Himalayas means the “home of snow.”

Did You Know himalayas

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The Margherita pizza was named for Margherita of Savoy,

Queen consort of Italy from 1878-1900,

during the reign of her husband, King Umberto I.

Did You Know italian-pizza-margherita

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Over 175 million cubic yards of earth

was removed for the creation of the Panama Canal

Did You Know panama-canal

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Hawaii is the most geographically isolated land mass in the world.

Did You Know map pacific hawaii

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By partially filling saucers with vinegar and

distributing the saucers around a room,

you can eliminate odors

– well, accept for them smell of vinegar perhaps!

Did You Know vinegar

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Oddly enough

– or perhaps not, as the case may be –  

the very first high heels were made for soldiers in the 1500s

who needed a way to keep their feet snugly tucked

into their stirrups while riding on horseback.

Did You Know soldiers high heels

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Fredric Baur invented the Pringles can.

When he died in 2008, his ashes were buried in one.

Did You Know pringles fredric baur

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The famous jewelry store Tiffany & Co.

was established on September 18, 1837 in New York City.

The amount of sales that were made the first day were $4.98

Did You Know tiffany fifth ave

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A man filed a lawsuit against his doctor

because he survived longer than what the doctor had predicted

Did You Know medical suit

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During WWII, La-Z-Boy manufactured seats for tanks,

torpedo boats, gun turrets, and armored cars.

Did You Know La-Z-Boy logo

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It requires 63 feet of wire to make a Slinky toy

Did You Know slinky

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The Hollywood sign was first erected in 1923.

It was first erected as “Hollywoodland.”

Did You Know hollywoodland

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Janis Joplin left $2,500 in her will for her friends to

“have a ball after I’m gone.”

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One For The Rod

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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How about a short story of love, betrayal, and revenge to end the week?

Enjoy.

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The divorce had just become final and she was preparing to remove all her remaining belongings from what had been “their” house.

On the first day, she sadly packed her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light. She put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollow centre of the curtain rods.

Then she cleaned up the kitchen and left.

On the fourth day, her ex-husband came back to the house with his new girlfriend, and at first all was bliss.

Then, slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place.

smellyhouse2

Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere.

Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days.

In the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked!

People stopped coming over to visit.

Repairmen refused to work in the house.

The maid quit.

smellyhouse1

Finally, the ex and his new girl couldn’t take the stench any longer, and decided they had to move.

But a month later – even though they’d cut their price in half – they couldn’t find a buyer for such a stinky house.

Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to buy a new place.

It was then that she called her ex-husband and asked how things were going.

He told her the saga of the rotting house.

She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for having the house.

He was so desperate to get rid of the unsaleable house, that he agreed on a price that was only 1/10 th of what the house had been worth.

And because he knew she could have no idea how bad the smell really was, he wasn’t going to give her any time to visit the place again.

The deal was good only if she would sign the papers that very day!

She agreed.

Within two hours his lawyers delivered the completed paperwork which she duly signed.

A week later her ex-husband and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home…….

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……and to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods too!

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Aren’t happy endings just great?

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More Stupid Questions About Stupid Things Asked By Stupid People

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A continuation from last week when we looked at stupid questions about stupid things asked by stupid people, who seem to get worried about the most inconsequential trivia.

As with last week’s warning, don’t try to analyze these, you’ll just get a headache!

Enjoy!

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If men and women have hair in all the same places, why do we bother shaving?

salma-hayek-as-the-bearded-lady

Are there any longitudinal studies of the development of honesty in children?

longtitudinal studies

What should not be found in urine?

urine sample

Has anyone ever experienced the ‘White light’ sensation?

white light

How do you get rid of the smell of Skunk from your hunting clothes?

skunked

Can you get drunk from eating pickled eggs and if so, is it socially acceptable in Alsaka?

pickled eggs

Is beer more harmful than the wine?

beer-vs-wine

Is the name Greyanne is the most popular name in the world?

greyanne_by_raeraychan

What are the effects of “sex” on human body?

contradictions

What are rights of parents?

Parents rights cartoon

Why don’t woodpeckers get concussions?

Woody Woodpecker

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They Say If You Don’t Know Something You Should Ask – Well……

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Some more questions about those mysteries of life that most of us just seem to accept. It’s a good job that not everyone is so mild mannered.

Enjoy. 
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Why do they call it the ‘Department of Interior’ when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

US Dept Of The Interior Seal.

Why does Jello have a smell when you add the powder in the water, but when it ‘gels’ the smell is gone?

jello.

Why are dogs noses always wet?

dog nose.

If a bee is allergic to pollen would it get the hives?

bee.

Why do people say ‘heads up’ when what you should really do is duck?

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Why is it okay for dudes to slap other dudes’ asses in football, but not in any other situation?

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If one man says, ‘it was an uphill battle’, and another says, ‘it went downhill from there’, how could they both be having troubles?

uphill battle  -  all downhill from here
uphill battle – all downhill from here

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Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

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If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?

Better Business Bureau logo.

If you blew a bubble in space would it pop?

bubble.

How come all of the planets are spherical?

square planet.

How did the first women ever to shave their legs know that the skin wouldn’t just peel right off?

first women to shave their legs.

When a pregnant lady has twins, are there one or two umbilical cords?

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Why doesn’t Winnie the Pooh ever get stung by the bees he messes with?

Winnie the Pooh.

Why do they put holes in crackers?

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Can you still say ‘Put it where the sun don’t shine’ on a nude beach?

nudist beach.

What do people in China call their good plates?

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How come toy hippos are always blue, or purple, when real hippos are brown?

purple hippo.

If an escalator breaks down, does it become stairs?

broken escalator.

Why did they call him Donkey Kong if he is not a donkey?

donkey kong

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Smell My Finger! – It’s Quiz Show Answers Monday

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I can’t believe how fast this year is going. Another Monday and half way through October. But no matter how much time we put in people don’t seem to be getting any smarter. I think this next selection of quiz show answers proves it yet again.

And it may help to explain the rather odd headline on this post too.

Enjoy!

 

 

Q: Name a talk show host you watch in the daytime        

A: Louie Anderson

 

 

Q: An electric appliance designed to be handheld           

A: Blender

 

 

Q: An animal with more than four legs   

A: Dog

A: Horse

 

 

Q: Name a famous woman who seems to intimidate other men   

A: Barbara Bush

 

 

Q: Name something that can damage a home    

A: A woman

 

 

Q: Name a food that comes in instant form       

A: Asparagus   

 

 

Q: Name something you ask people to smell     

A: Your finger   

 

 

Q: Name something that runs on a track

A: Speakers     

 

 

Q: An instrument used by a doctor        

A: Violin

 

 

Q: Name something in a candy bar, besides chocolate  

A: Candy

 

 

Q: The country with the most intriguing women   

A: Africa

 

 

Q: Name a bad habit that has serious consequences     

A: Picking your nose     

 

 

Q: Name a cartoon character with big ears         

A: Kermit the Frog

 

 

Q: Name something Scotch      

A: Water

 

 

Q: Name a famous Barbara       

A: Barbara Washington

 

 

Q: Name a city that jetsetters visit         

A: Florida

A: Norway

 

 

Q: Name a woman who’s had her breasts supersized     

A: Wonder Woman

 

 

Q: An age where a person would be happy to be carded at a bar

A: 18

 

 

Q: Name something people cheat on     

A: Chicago Bears

 

 

Q: Name something you might find in a manicure set     

A: A wig

 

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