Another foray into the hidden shallows of the human mind as shown by the answers some hapless contestants have given on television and radio quiz shows.
Marvel at the stupidity.
And enjoy!
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Q: Name something you might buy that could turn out to be phony
A:A Horse
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Q: Name something that dries up as it gets old
A:Water
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Q: The one thing that the people living near you have that you want
A:A beautiful wife
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Q: Name something most women wouldn’t be caught leaving the house without
A:A Tampon
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Q: Name a body part that gets bigger as people get older
A:Penis
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Q: Name a foreign country people vacation in where it would be easy to pack on 10 pounds.
A:Paris
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Q: Which one of the seven dwarfs you most often feel like
A:Weepy
A:Drowsy
A:Grouchy
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Q: Name a question you hate when people ask it to you
A:“Are those real?”
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Q: The hardest position to play on a baseball team
A:Quarterback
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Q: Name a city in the state of Georgia
A:Alabama
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Q: An excuse you use when stopped for speeding
A:“I was drinking”
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Q: Name something newlyweds share
A:Underwear
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Q: Name something you would buy in a stationery store
A:Water
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Q: Name a question that a gentleman would never ask a lady on a first date
The title of this post says ‘confounding all the laws of the intellect’, and I don’t think that is any exaggeration. These people take questions, often simple questions, run it through what passes for their mind and then out of their mouths come answers that are so far away from correct it is sometimes quite staggering.
Anyhow, enough from me.
Here is the latest selection.
Enjoy.
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Q: What country does the spiritual leader the Dalai Lama come from
A: Scotland.
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Q: What is the currency in India?
A: Ramadan.
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Q: Skegness is a seaside resort on the coast of which sea:
a) Irish Sea,
b) English Channel,
c) North Sea?
A: Oh, I know that, you can start writing out the cheque now, Dale. It’s on the east coast, so it must be the Irish Sea.
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Q: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
A: Four.
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Q: Which ‘S’ is a kind of whale that can grow up to 80 tonnes?
A: Ummm .. .
Q: It begins with ‘S’ and rhymes with ‘perm’.
A: Shark.
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Q: Which literary hunchback lived in Notre Dame and fell in love with Esmeralda
A: Nostradamus.
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Q: What is the capital of Italy
A:France.
Q: France is another country. Try again.
A:Oh, um, Benidorm.
Q: Wrong, sorry.
Let’s try another question
Q: In which country is the Parthenon
A:Sorry, I don’t know.
Q: Just guess a country.
A:Paris.
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Q: What’s 11 squared?
A:I don’t know.
Q: I’ll give you a clue. It’s two ones with a two in the middle.
A:Is it five?
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Q: What religion was Guy Fawkes?
A:Jewish.
Q: That’s close enough.
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Q: What was signed to bring World War I to an end in 1918?.
A:Magna Carta?
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Q: What ‘K’ could be described as the Islamic Bible?
A: Er…
Q: It’s got two sylla-bles… Kor…
A: Blimey?
Q: Ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run…
A: Silence
Q: Okay, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I…
A: Walked?
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Q: What name is given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
A: Nostalgia.
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Q: In which European country is Mount Etna?
A: Japan.
Q: I did say European country… I can let you try again.
A: Er… Mexico?
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Q: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
A: (long pause) 14 days.
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Q: In which country would you spend shekels?
A: Holland?
Q: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
A: Iceland? Ireland?
Q: It’s a bad line. Did you say Israel?
A: No.
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Q: Where is Cambridge University?
A: Geography isn’t my strong point
Q: There’s a clue in the title
A: Leicester?
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Q: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
A: Barcelona
Q: I was really after the name of a country
A: I’m sorry, I don’t know the name of any countries in Spain
So how many idiots got elected last week? Not all of them I hope, but I bet there are at least a few intellectually challenged newbees in the corridors of power in Washington.
On the lighter side, some of those who didn’t make it in politics made it on to television and appeared in quiz shows.
The results are not that much different to some of the dumb things said in Congress (oh, oh, I feel another post forming in my head) so here is a selection to get the week started with a smile.
Enjoy!
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Q: In craps, what are the numbers you will need to roll an ‘Easy 10’?
A: What are 9 and 1?
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Q: Paul III roared at him, “I have waited 30 years for your services. Now, I’m pope. Can’t I satisfy my desire?”
A: Who is Lady Godiva?
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Q: If a Japanese “isha” (doctor) asks you to stick out your “shita”, he means this.
A: What is your behind?
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Q: To get to Wallace, Idaho from Boston, get on I-90 West, and the first one of these you ‘hit’, you’re there.
A: What is a buffalo?
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Q: 2 of the 3 countries classified as extending across two continents
A: What are Africa and Europe?
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Q: The original one of these on Massachusetts’ Little Brewster Island was built in 1716; automation didn’t come until 1998.
A: What is Kebert Xela?
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Q: [The language that this statement, meaning “I love you guys”, is in:] Yr Wyf I’n Dy Garu Di
A: What is Klingon?
A: What is Welsh?
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Q: He is the only sitting Vice President since Martin Van Buren to be elected President
A: Who is Al Gore?
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Q: This nursery rhyme was based on actual events at a 1900 schoolhouse.
A: What is ‘There once was a man from Nantucket?’
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Q: In 2002, an elaborate dinner party was held at No. 10 to celebrate this many years’ reign by Elizabeth II
A: Who is Tony Blair?
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Q: The Timon puppet in “The Lion King” was inspired by Bunraku, the traditional puppet theatre of this country
A: What is Africa?
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Q: Of the 5 permanent members of the UN Security Council, the one that is smallest in size
A: What is my apartment?
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Q: George Bernard Shaw called this condition “the greatest of evils and the worst of crimes.”
A: What is marriage?
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Q: Of Pastism, Presentism or Futurism, the literary movement that began around 1909
A: What is Modernism?
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Q: According to the old saying, “I scream, you scream, we all scream for…” what?
A: Jim Beam
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Q: Franklin D. Roosevelt is found on the head side of what American coin?
A: $50 Bill
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Q: “If I can make it there, I can make it anywhere.” What city does that describe?
A: Phoenix
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Q: What was the magical item that brought Frosty the Snowman to life?
A: Corncob pipe
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Q: What vehicle is used in the Tour de France race?
A: SUVs
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Q: What eye ailment is the more common name for “myopia?”
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