End September With Some Facts.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Indeed, what better way to end the month of September than with another random selection of facts.

I’m sure there are at least a few things in this lot that you didn’t know.

Enjoy.

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facts 04

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There are more than 100,000 chemical reactions

happening in your brain every second.

chemical reactions happening in your brain

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The first machine-made chocolate was

produced in Barcelona, Spain, in 1780.

machine-made chocolate

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A blue whale´s tongue alone

can weigh as much as a single adult elephant

which gives you an indication of the size of the former.

blue-whale-tongue-n-elephant

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About 275 million new stars are born everyday.

275 million new stars are born everyday

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Ohio lawyer Clement Vallandigham

managed to shoot himself in a court room in 1871

while demonstrating to a jury how his client’s

alleged murder victim had actually shot himself.

Apparently no one checked the gun.

Clement Vallandigham

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The Chinese language (Mandarin/Cantonese)

has about 50,000 characters.

To read a newspaper you would

need to know about 2,000 of them.

Chinese language

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Gum is not sold in any Disney Park.

disneyland_map

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The word ‘Lukewarm’ is actually a redundancy.

‘Luke’ meant ‘warm’ in Middle English

so ‘lukewarm’ technically would mean ‘warm warm’.

lukewarm

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The most remote island in the world

is the uninhabited Bouvet Island

which lies somewhere between

Antarctica and Tristan de Cunha.

Bouvet Island Location

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Did you know that dolphins are so smart that,

within a few weeks of captivity,

they can train people to stand on the

very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

feeding-dolphins

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‘Linn’s Stamp News’ is the world’s largest

weekly newspaper for stamp collectors.

Linn's Stamp News

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The little lump of flesh just forward of your ear canal,

right next to your temple, is called a ‘tragus’.

tragus

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The United States has never lost a war

in which mules were used.

army mule

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Will Clark of the Texas Rangers is a direct descendant

of William Clark of Lewis and Clark.

Will Clark Rangers Photocard

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Running from 1972 through 1983, M*A*S*H*

was one of the most successful shows on television ever.

It won 8 Golden Globe awards,

14 Primetime Emmy awards,

the 1976 Peabody award

and was the People’s Choice winner

for Favorite TV Comedy five times.

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People Who Use Euphemisms Really Get On My You Know Whats!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Pun day!

Twenty more examples of word play to make you smile or groan, or maybe even both.

Enjoy!

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rofl

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No matter how hard I try, I simply can’t figure out

what’s the opposite of ironing.

It’s depressing.

ironing

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What’s the difference between mountains and hills?

Mountains tend to get high, but hills are less inclined

mountains and hills

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After criticizing yet another outfit, my wife said she

was going to leave me due to my poor dress sense.

“Please baby” I pleaded. “I can change.”

poor dress sense

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Doctor Who started working for our road repair company today,

his first job was to fill in potholes.

“Tardis”, I told him.

Dr Who's tardis

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Pepperami..

What Sgt Pepper served in.

peperami1

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Did you hear about the guy who was so stupid

that when they gave him enough rope,

he shot himself.

stupid

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The blow hard bloke next door says his car is more powerful than mine

and that he would easily beat me in a race.

He’s all torque.

CARS 2

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I’ve been caught up in a race row.

I don’t care what he says, I won fair and square.

race

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People often tell me I have very little patience.

But that’s probably because I’m a doctor specializing in dwarfism.

Seven Dwarfs

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A friend of mine accused me of plagiarism.

I didn’t know what that meant, but I took his word.

cartoon_plagiarism_1836615

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I saw that the latest remake of the Dukes of Hazzard includes

a scene where Bo and Luke install a talking car alarm.

I’m not sure that’s going to go down well,

General Lee speaking.

General_Lee__Dukes_of_Hazzard_by_xxatwaxx

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The wife used to work on a maternity ward.

It was labor-intensive.

Pregnancy-Cartoon

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My new neighbor works in a board game factory.

His job is to take small wooden cubes and engrave them.

I don’t like him…

He’s dot a dice person.

dice

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I stopped at a hotel last night called

“The good, the bad, and the ugly.”

It was a Best Western.

best-western-logo3

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I once met a really stupid bloke on a Greek island.

He was a Cretan.

Souda Bay Crete

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At an awards dinner last night,

I just finished enjoying some middle eastern dip

when I was called up to accept my award.

It was post hummus.

10oz-classic-hummus

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A few weeks ago, 1,400 people were killed in Syria by a chemical attack.

It almost became Obama’s road to Degasmasks.

gas masks

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I can never wear my lucky golf socks again.

I got a hole in one.

sock-holes

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And since we are almost at the end of today’s post,

I have to announce that unfortunately tonight’s

Self Harmers Anonymous group

has been cancelled due to staff cuts.

william-steig-harry-take-it-from-me-you-re-doing-yourself-more-harm-than-good-new-yorker-cartoon

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An African lady called Betty came into my restaurant

and asked “Is there any chicken on the menu?”

I replied “No black Betty, it’s ham or lamb.”

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