Whoever Invented The Selfie Needs To Take A Good Look At Themselves.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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And since it’s pun day again you need to take a good look at this latest batch.

Enjoy or endure!!!

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What do you call

a German on speaker phone?

Hans Free

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‘Sugar’

is the only word in the English language

in which the S, is pronounced ‘sh’.

I’m sure of that.

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My brother has had to

close down his archery business.

In the first 12 months 

he didn’t hit any of his targets .

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Ten years in the same job and

not once have I been in the boss’s office.

That’s what got me fired as a cleaner.

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Just been mugged and beaten up.

I tried to defend myself with a drawing pin.

Turns out a tac isn’t the best form of defense after all.

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Before we split up, my wife

was obsessed with horoscopes.

I’m sure that’s what Taurus apart.

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I was on the freeway when a guy driving in the other direction

started flashing his lights, beeping his horn and screaming,

“You’re going the wrong way!”

What an idiot.

He didn’t even know where I was going.

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What has a pee at

the end of a tram?

A tramp.

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Breaking News:

Man arrested over missing woman

Imagine if he’d hit her???

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Adoption jokes –

There’s never a good time to tell them.

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I don’t approve of my girlfriend’s one night stand.

Why should she be the only one with

somewhere to put a bedside lamp.

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I threw three DVDs at exactly the same time

to see which one would hit the wall first.

It was a discrace.

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My wife called me into the bathroom

and asked me to wash her back.

I don’t remember her

washing me in the first place.

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Erectile dysfunction;

just when you thought

it couldn’t get any harder.

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My wife, Lorraine, has just found out that 

I have been cheating on her with Clara next door.

Last night, she packed her things and left.

I can see Clara now, Lorraine has gone.

Take it away Johnny….

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Beware The Green Eyed Monster!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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They say that a picture is worth a thousand words.

Well here’s a blog post slightly over 6,000 words. Don’t worry, it won’t take you long to read it.

It’s about the behavior of several heads of state at the Mandela Memorial in South Africa, an event which itself was turned into a bit of a farce.

From sign language interpreters who didn’t know any sign language to politicians not having the sense to realize they were on a world stage and everyone was watching, it was all a bit pathetic really.  

But funny too!

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President Obama shares a joke with

Danish Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt.

Michelle Obama obviously didn’t get it – or did she?

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Now a bit of touchy-feely from Obama

who is obviously enjoying the encounter.

The look on Michelle’s face seems to indicate that

she is not too happy with the way things are going.

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Obama and Helle take a little ‘selfie’ photo with her cell phone,

as British Prime Minister David Cameron tries to form a threesome.

Michelle, looking even more pissed off glowers into the distance.

(Wonder if the NSA is bugging that phone?)

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The happy couple get closer and share another joke.

Michelle gets farther away,

and she still ain’t laughing!

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Obama gets up to say a few words,

assisted by the sign language interpreter for the deaf.

Yes, that’s him,

the interpreter who didn’t know any sign language at all.

You couldn’t make this up!

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When he come back to sit down again,

Obama finds that the seating arrangements have changed.

Michelle is now between him and the lovely piece of Danish.

Suspecting he may have blundered Obama takes Michelle’s hand and kisses it.

Michelle gazes off into the distance.

She has a “it ain’t gonna be that easy to fix this one, buster” expression on her face.

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With his new little friend isolated

Obama studiously looks in the other direction. 

Michelle still ain’t laughing!

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