“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Okay, so maybe 2013 isn’t exactly the year of the pun, but I’ll try to do my best to make sure they appear now and again.
And what better time to continue than right now?
Enjoy!
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I took part in a survey about nervous twitches.
I ticked all the boxes.
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My Butcher is selling meat on hire purchase.
But you have to have a joint account.
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I went to a bondage party recently.
I was roped into it.
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The invisible man marries the invisible woman….
The kids were nothing to look at either.
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Two cows standing next to each other in a field.
Daisy says to Dolly: “I was artificially inseminated this morning.”
“I don’t believe you,” replies Dolly.
“It’s true, no bull!”
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Why can’t Chinese couples have caucasian babies?
Because two Wongs don’t make a White!
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“Good afternoon. Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?”
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Did you hear about the two gay ghosts?
They gave each other the willies!
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A 14-year-old boy has been injured in a vicious race attack.
Thankfully, none of the other runners were affected.
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Did you hear about the leper who made his living as a gigolo?
He was doing great until his business fell off.
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Did you hear about the guy who drowned in a bowl of Muesli?
He was dragged under by a strong current.
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What do you call a German baked bean?
Heinz.
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I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits.
He said, “How flexible are you?”
I said, “I can’t make Tuesdays.”
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A site for sore eyes
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What do you call a group of epileptics in a bowl?
Seizure Salad!
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How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Stick it in the microwave until it`s Bill Withers!
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