“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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And now it’s time for you to check out this week’s selection of word plays.
Yes, it’s Pun Day.
Enjoy or endure!
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If you believe binoculars are overrated
then look no further.
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I hate it when I run out of Staples.
So do their security guards.
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Dying cats pink, what’s next?
A Navy Seal?
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I spent most of last night in jail.
Try as I might, I just couldn’t roll a double.
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I missed my bus this morning.
I really shouldn’t get so sentimental about public transport.
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I’ve been asked out by a number of sexy women this week.
That number is sadly zero.
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A young man called directory assistance.
“Hello, operator, I would like the telephone number
for Mary Jones in Phoenix, Arizona.”
“There are multiple listings for Mary Jones in Phoenix,”
the operator replied. “Do you have a street name?”
The young man hesitated, and then said,
“Well, most people call me E Z.”
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When James Bond is out of his home country
of England, is he known as +44 07?
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I saw a sign in a shop- ‘Mosquito nets £10’
I didn’t even know bugs could play the lottery.
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I told my mate that, in order to get laid,
I’d promised my girlfriend that
I’d marry her in the summer.
He said, “July?”
I said, “Of course I did.”
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I once went out with a girl with
fiery red hair and a pale thin body.
I met her on Match.com
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I fell asleep whilst rafting the other day.
I just drifted off.
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My wife has rather annoyingly replaced all
the lightbulbs in the house with energy efficient ones.
I’ll never see her in the same light again.
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It was my anniversary last week.
My girlfriend asked me if I wanted
oral sex or a new pair of shoes…
I went head over heels.
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I’ve just watched a fantastic
movie with a twist at the end…
Oliver.
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fasab 