Bad Actors Have Their Work Cut Out.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Bad actors do get their work cut out, fortunately for both them and those of us who watch their movies.

However, bad puns are never cut out because the worse they are the better they are.

And here’s another selection to prove it.

Enjoy or endure.

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rofl

 

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It’s not my fault I blame

everyone else for my mistakes.

It's not my fault

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Steve Jobs,

a man who lived life to the macs

Apple Macs

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I haven’t made a prediction

in my life and I never will.

prediction

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There are two types of people in this world.

Those who can extrapolate incomplete data

extrapolate incomplete data

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I have trouble taking responsibility for my actions.

I blame my parents.

taking responsibility

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The life of a snail is taken

with a pinch of salt.

salt

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“I’m worried that those plants are artificial.”

“They’re not.”

“Well that’s a real leaf.”

real leaf

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My motto is:

If you can’t beat them,

what’s the point in becoming a teacher?

teacher

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I’ve just arrived at the camouflage club

and I can see we have a big turnout.

Which is really disappointing.

camouflage club

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Whilst buying some nuts today

I noticed the pack said

“stachios”

I thought…

someone’s taken the pis

pistachios

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Be a scientist.

If at first you don’t succeed,

redefine success.

scientist

 

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One way or another I’m going to

have to stop quoting Blondie lyrics.

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February Facts Finish Today.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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February facts finish here, but not to worry, all being well there will be more next month.

Meantime have a look at this selection.

I hope you find something interesting.

Enjoy.

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did you know5

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Approximately seven hundred

tweets per minute contain a YouTube link.

twitter logo

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The most beer-drinking country in

the world is the Czech Republic.

With an incredible per capita beer consumption

of almost 40 gallons a year, the Czechs are way out

in front in the beer drinking world league table,

leaving the Irish, Germans, Americans and

other “beer nations” far behind.

most beer-drinking country in the world is the Czech Republic

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None of the soldiers wore metal helmets in 1914.

The French were the first to introduce them in 1915.

Future prime minister Winston Churchill wore a

French one during his time on the front in 1916.

WWI soldiers 1914

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The first known pyramid architect was Imhotep,

an Ancient Egyptian polymath, engineer and

physician who is considered to be the designer of

the first major pyramid – the Pyramid of Djoser.

Imhotep statue

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In 1783, then Yale University president Ezra Stiles

predicted that the population of the United States

would reach 300 million in the next two hundred years.

He based his prediction on his analysis of the

population growth in Europe.

Apparently, just a little over 200 years later,

the population of the country actually hit 300 million.

Ezra Stiles portrait

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Sean Connery,

the first and arguably the best James Bond,

began balding when he was only 21-years-old,

therefore in al his appearances as ‘Bond’

he is wearing a toupee.

Sean Connery as James Bond

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The phrase, “Bite the bullet”,

meaning to endure something painful,

was first recorded in Rudyard Kipling’s 1891 novel

‘The Light that Failed’ describing the barbaric era

before anesthetics were used in medical procedures.

Injured soldiers had to bite on a bullet to help them

endure the pain of an operation or amputation,

an action that usually also resulted in a few broken teeth

aside from the other pain.

Bite the bullet

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A normal heart valve is about

the size of a half dollar

size of a half dollar

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Payne Stewart was a prolific golfer

and a three-time major championship winner

who was extremely popular with spectators

for his exciting style of play and fancy clothes.

Sadly, in 1999 his career was cut short by an

airplane accident that cost him his life a few

months after his latest triumph in the U.S. Open.

Payne Stewart

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The Laser is an innovation made possible

by Quantum mechanics.

It was once thought to have no practical use,

however, innovation and development has

enabled laser technology to be applied to different

inventions from the CD player to

missile-destroying defense systems.

The Laser

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In  Port Lincoln, Australia, each January

they hold the ‘Tunarama Festival’ which is a

competition to see how far someone can

throw a frozen tuna.

Fortunately, the 2007 festival was the last one

in which real tunas were used for the throws

(because of their drastically dwindling populations).

Since then artificially made fake tunas have been used.

Tunarama Festival

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From 1850 to 1942, marijuana was

considered a useful medicine for

nausea, rheumatism, and labor pains

and was easily obtained at local general stores

or pharmacies throughout the U.S.

marijuana used to be for sale in pharmacies

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In Formula 1 motor racing,

there is no longer a car with the number 13.

The number has been removed after two drivers

were killed in crashes — both driving cars numbered 13.

Formula 1 no car with the number 13 now

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Yuri Gagarin, the first human in space,

was also a victim of a training jet crash.

He died on March 27, 1968,

along with his flight instructor Vladimir Seryogin,

when their MiG-15UTI plane crashed.

There has always been a lot of speculation and

conspiracy surrounds their deaths.

For example, documents declassified in April 2011

include a 1968’s commission conclusion that they

had to maneuver sharply to avoid a weather balloon,

whereas a KGB report concluded the aircraft

entered a spin. from which it subsequently could

not recover. to avoid a bird strike or another aircraft.

Yuri Gagarin funeral

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Alan Thicke,

the father in the TV show Growing Pains

wrote the theme songs for

The Facts of Life

and

Diff’rent Strokes.

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Significant Number Factoid Friday – Thirteen, Unlucky For Some

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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They’ve been ‘beautiful’,  they’ve been ‘big’  and they’ve been ‘unusual’

Today we have ‘significant’ number thirteen, unlucky for some.

Enjoy.

 

13 Thirteen

The number 13 seems to give a lot of people trouble. Indeed the fear of the number 13 is so pervasive that it even has a phobia named after it  –  triskaidekaphobia. 

 

In the Bible.

  • At the Last Supper in Christian theology, there were 13 dinner guests, so that number is unlucky because Christ was betrayed.
  • Thirteen famines are recorded in the Scriptures.
  • The destruction of Jericho is stamped with the number thirteen, because the city was compassed once each day for six days, and seven times on the seventh day, making 13 times in all (6+7).
  • All the names of Satan are divisible by thirteen.
  • In Mark 7 Jesus mentions thirteen things that defile a person (evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride and foolishness).

 

Elsewhere,

  • The ancient Hebrews thought 13 was unlucky because the thirteenth letter of the Hebrew alphabet is the letter M, which is the first letter in the word “mavet,” meaning death.
  • In Norse mythology, 12 benevolent gods were gathering in a hall and the evil god Loki attacked the group. Loki was the 13th guest, and the god Balder was killed in the melee.
  • President Franklin D. Roosevelt was quite fearful of the number 13, and he took great pains to avoid hosting a meal for a group of that size. It is said that if he had a cancellation and it looked as if there might be 13 people to lunch, he would invite his secretary to join them so there wouldn’t be 13.
  • Industrialist Henry Ford wouldn’t do business on Friday, the 13th.
  • Multimillionaire Paul Getty once stated “I wouldn’t care to be one of thirteen at a table.”
  • Some speculate that a fear of the number 13 is the reason we recognize only 12 constellations in the Zodiac, omitting a thirteenth… Ophiuchus ( the Serpent Holder) that, by its location, could be included.
  • Years ago, London bakers were subject to harsh penalties if they were caught selling bread in what was called short weight. The bakers would add an extra loaf to each dozen to be sure the sale met the minimum weight requirement. They avoided the word thirteen and the process of adding an extra loaf became known as the “baker’s dozen.”
  • Some airlines do not have a 13th row.
  • Most tall buildings do not have a 13th floor.
  • Many hotel guests refuse to stay in Room 13, so rooms are frequently numbered 12, 12A, and 14.
  • The 13th card of the Tarot is the card of Death.
  • The composer, Arnold Schoenberg, was a noted triskaidekaphobe. He died as he had predicted at the age of 76 (7+6=13), on a Friday 13th at 13 minutes to midnight.
  • In April 1970, NASA launched Apollo 13 at 1313 hours Central Time from pad 39. The flight was commanded by James A. Lovell with John L. “Jack” Swigert as Command Module pilot and Fred W. Haise as Lunar Module pilot. (Swigert was a late replacement for the original CM pilot Ken Mattingly, who was grounded by the flight surgeon after exposure to German measles.) They were scheduled for rest periods beginning 13 minutes past the hour and on April 13 at 21:07:53 CST (55:54:53 Ground Elapsed Time) an oxygen tank exploded and the mission had to be aborted. The rest is history – and a movie, Apollo 13, based on ‘Lost Moon’, Jim Lovell’s and Jeffrey Kluger’s book about the event.
Apollo 13 insignia
Insignia of the ill-fated Apollo XIII Mission

 

Friday the 13th Myths:

  • If you cut your hair on Friday the 13th, someone in your family will die.
  • A child born on Friday the 13th will be unlucky for life.
  • If a funeral procession passes you on Friday the 13th, you will be the next to die.

 

In the United States

  • the Thirteenth Amendment to the Constitution officially outlaws slavery and involuntary servitude, except as punishment for a crime.
  • thirteen colonies rebelled against British Rule and King George III in what led to the American Revolutionary War and the eventual birth of the United States of America. The colonies were Delaware, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Georgia, Connecticut, Massachusetts Bay, Maryland, South Carolina, New Hampshire, Virginia, New York, North Carolina, and Rhode Island and Providence Plantations.
  • there are thirteen stripes on the USA flag to commemorate these original colonies.
USA flag - Stars and Stripes
USA flag – Stars and Stripes

 

 

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