Cole’s Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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In case the title didn’t give it away, today is pun day!

Hurrah and enjoy!!

But first a quick medical alert….

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Medical Alert:

When you play golf iron deficiencies

can lead to a risk of increased strokes.

golf-bad-cartoon

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I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from.

Then it dawned on me.

dawn

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I was devastated when my girlfriend left me for a dwarf.

I never thought she would stoop so low

tall-woman

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“I only have diamonds, clubs and spades,”

said Tom heartlessly

cardplayers

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Ever wonder why the person who invented the door knocker

wasn’t awarded a No-bell prize.

DoorKnocker

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I walked down a street where the houses were numbered

64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB.

That was a trip down memory lane.

MEMORY_LANE

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If anyone ever says to you that they’ve lost their voice,

They’re lying.

lost voice cartoon

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Tires are fixed for a flat rate.

flat tire cartoon

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If you suffer from kleptomania,

should you take something for it?

Kleptomania

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I’ve taken up a part time course in counterfeiting.

I’m forging ahead.

boris-drucker-every-dollar-we-counterfeit-costs-us-a-buck-and-a-half-cartoon

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I broke up with my girlfriend last night.

It happened on the forecourt of a gas station.

Very emotional breakup.

She was in tears and I was filling up….

pumping-gas

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The latest market research shows a growing trend

for eating high-fibre cereal for breakfast,

with the result that people are experiencing

greater regularity in their bowel movements.

With trends like that,

who needs enemas?

enemas

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Did you hear about the bird that sat on an axe?

It was trying to hatchet

Hatchet

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A boy came into the house with a sofa on his back.

His mother said,

“How many times have I told you not to accept suites from strangers!?”

suites from strangers

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I was watching a tv program about the people in Holland who make their traditional clogs?

I thought, I’d like to try that

Wooden shoe?

wooden-clogs

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A fishing boat is working the North Sea, when suddenly it starts shipping water.

It puts out a Mayday message:

“Help! Help! We are sinking!”

A few minutes back the reply comes through:

“Zis is ze German coastguard. Vot are you sinking about?”

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I’ve eaten steak tartar,

but only on rare occasions

mr-bean-steak-tartare

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un oeuf is enough as they say in France!

tray bien

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My laptop is broken.

It just keeps playing “Skyfall” over and over again.

Probably because it’s a Dell.

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Unexpected Answers From Minds That Don’t Quite Work As Intended – Yes, Quiz Show Monday

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

Yes, another Monday and time for more of those unexpected answers from minds that don’t quite work as intended – even by their owners!

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Q: Name something that you wanted to do as a kid, but your parents wouldn’t let you

A: Have a snake

cartoon snake.

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Q: An occupation in which people cover their faces

A: Model

model with face hidden.

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Q: Name a food used to describe a person

A: A dog

scared dog.

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Q: Name a food you wish was healthy for you

A: Ketchup

cartoon ketchup.

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Q: The bad habit you’d most like to get rid of

A: Picking nose

Pick Me.

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Q: An expression that means “getting married”

A: Rendezvous

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Q: Name a high school class people might actually enjoy going to

A: Beverly Hills

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Q: Name a food that comes smoked

A: Tobacco

baseball-bans-chewing-tobacco.

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Q: Name something a bricklayer uses

A: Spatula

bricklayer at work.

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Q: Name a slang word for “man”

A: Homeboy

homeboy.

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Q: Name a famous Biblical twosome

A: Ralph and Susie

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Q: Name something you’d find in an operating room

A: Operator

operator.

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Q: How many times per day you look in the mirror

A: Twenty

looking in mirror.

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Q: Name a character from a horror movie that reminds you of some of your dates

A: Loch Ness Monster
A: Incredible Hulk

.Incredible_Hulk_Animated_by_soulmaninc

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Q: Name a food that can be brown or white

A: Potatoes

mr_potato_cartoon.

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Q: Name a day of the year when you want to be with friends

A: December

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Q: Name a gift that might be insulting if a woman received it from her mother-in-law

A: Shoes

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Q: Name a tall tourist attraction

A: Disneyland

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Q: Your wife’s most unappealing habit (asked to 100 married men)

A: Picking her feet

picking feet - most annoying habit
picking feet – most unappealing habit

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