Starting: What Jamaican Astronomers Look At.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


Starting with a star ting must mean it’s Pun Day.

Another selection of word plays for you to ….

Enjoy or endure!




Sadly, the man who invented

the raffle has passed away.

R.I.P Tom Bola.

Tom Bola



I’ve been merciless with my French class.

I get no thanks.




I was standing on soft ground

but I didn’t realize at first

because it took a while to sink in.

soft ground



If you give a physicist to a cannibal,

he’ll eat Faraday.




I’ve read ‘Plumbing For Dummies’ twice and

I still haven’t got a clue what I’m doing.

I guess it’s going to take another

few reads before this sinks in.

Plumbing For Dummies



If your dad had a sex change,

would he be your transparent.




Chinese censors are trying to

ban the use of puns in the media.

This is the wong move, and I hope

Western governments don’t panda to it.




I’m beginning to see loads of second

hand shops opening up in my area.

Surely selling the complete clock

would be more profitable???

second hand shops



I just built a huge tower of books.

It had to be like 50 stories.

huge tower of books



When David Rockefeller was asked to make

a contribution to the American conservation movement,

he planted two Bushes in the White House.

two Bushes in the White House



Have you seen the new

’30 minutes or it’s free’

cocaine home delivery service?

They call it Instagram.

cocaine home delivery service



My boyfriend took me out in his new Ferrari last night,

and spent the whole time going on about acceleration,

power-to-weight ratios, handling and braking efficiency,

before dropping me at home and zooming off into the night. 

Frankly, I was hoping for less torque and more action.

new Ferrari 2015



I went to the doctor because

of my morbid fear of breasts.

He said I’m suffering from





I met this dwarf called Peter the other day,

he’s a baker and he was telling

me all about baking flatbreads,

it was fascinating.

I love to hear the

Pita patter of tiny Pete.




Music puns,

Not everyone can Handel them…



= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =



Whiteboards Are Remarkable!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


What was that? Whiteboards are remarkable?

Yes, another pun day awaits below.




My New Zealand girlfriend said that

she was falling in love with my rubbish puns,

so I asked her to maori me.


My boss said I couldn’t park my monster truck in the work car park.

So I went over her head.


When my grandfather passed away,

I had his ashes kept in an old bottle of vodka.

I know he’s not here right now,

but he’s with me in spirit.


Feminism is sooooo cute.

feminist cartoon

My wife also left me because of my constant animal puns.

She just couldn’t Bear it…

So she Swanned off…

And took the Kids…

Well at least I no longer have to listen to her bleating on…

otter nonsense

I rang the local ramblers club yesterday.

The bloke at the other end went on and on and on.

ramblers cartoon

Some say a world without sin is ideal,

but there are only so many problems which can be answered

with cos and tan.


The worst pub I’ve ever been to was called The Fiddle.

It really was a vile inn.


If you’re always organizing things, you have OCD.

If you’re always eating things, you have OBCD.

ocd cartoon

This girl came up to me today and

said she recognized me from vegetarian club.

I was confused, I’d never met herbivore.


How did I get out of Iraq?


Iran David_Pope_Iraq_cartoon_Inkspot

I found a rock yesterday which measured 1760 yards in length.

Must be some kind of milestone.    

measurement chart-length

I’m not a competitive person…

I’ll be the first to admit it.    


Me and my friend have just been fighting

over which is the best vowel.

I won.      


Iron man.

What a Fe male.


Today, I walked into a restaurant.

“Hi, is my table ready?”

“No, not yet sir. Do you mind waiting?”

“No, that’s okay.”

“Great, take these to table six then.”


What should you say when you see one of the toddlers

on the Intensive Care Unit is playing with a toy donkey?

ICU baby, shaking that ass.