Highlighter Pens Are The Future. Mark My Words!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Mark my words indeed.

It’s Pun Day again.

Enjoy or endure!

.

 

rofl

.

Know what’s odd?

About every other number.

odd numbers

.

.

When I asked my best friend to be my best man,

he said he was “speechless”.

So I said, “You’re no good, I’ll find someone else”.

Best_man by Martin Stratton

.

.

I always win at Twister.

Hands down.

Nintendo_Twister_26

.

.

On reflection,

vampires aren’t that scary.

Vampire reflection

.

.

I’ve just seen a huge Egyptian woman

sticking her ass out the window of a car.

It was a two-ton car moon.

mooned

.

.

My neighbor Dave has drunk many

weird and wonderful things in his time.

I asked him if he’d ever drunk cologne.

“No,” he replied. “Always with friends.”

cologne

.

.

As they say in France,

one man’s fish

is another man’s poisson.

 

poisson

.

.

Everything is easier said than done.

Except procrastination.

procrastination

.

.

“I’ve got two words for you”

“I can’t count”

can't count

.

.

Upon reaching the peak of Everest with my wife,

we realized that there was only enough oxygen left

for one of us to get back down.

So I did the descent thing…

abseiling

.

.

I recently wrote an essay on the “Communist Manifesto”.

Unfortunately I didn’t really understand the topic,

so I got no Marx.

karl marx

.

.

Calvin Klein were supposed to

be bringing out a new fragrance…

But it was just aroma.

Calvin Klein perfume

.

.

The Sahara Desert walks into a bar

The barman says, “Long time no sea.”

Sahara Desert

.

.

Discovery Channel are releasing a new series about wildlife.

The first program is called “Siamese Ducks”.

It’s a double bill.

double bill

.

.

The wife will go spare when she finds out

I’ve lost her only copy of Beethoven’s Unfinished symphony.

I’ll never hear the end of it.

.

.

========================================

.

Saturn In A Bathtub? Just One Of Today’s Facts!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Yes, the usual unusual mixture of facts for you today.

You’ll have a job trying to get Saturn into a bathtub, but in the meantime there are a lot of other facts to explore.

Enjoy.

.

facts 04

.

If you could put Saturn in a bathtub it would float.

(But you will need a very large bathtub.)

saturn in a bathtub

.

.

If saliva cannot dissolve something,

you cannot taste it.

taste

.

.

Your brain accounts for about 2% of your mass

but uses up to a quarter of your oxygen and energy

brain

.

.

Chocolate contains phenylethylamine,

a naturally occurring amino-acid

which is believed to have aphrodisiacal effects

and is even said to be able to “cure” hangovers.

chocolate

.

.

Roger Woodward goes down in history

as the youngest person to go over the

Niagara Falls unprotected and survive.

It was unintentional and happened

after a boat he was in capsized.

miracle of Niagra

.

.

Marc Okrand, the linguistics professor responsible

for coming up with the fictional language of Klingon,

spent 3 years teaching his son when he was little.

His son went on to forget everything.

klingon

.

.

At its height in 480BC the first Persian Empire

covered 44% of the world’s population.

This is the largest percentage of any empire in history.

By comparison the British only had 20%

persian_empire

.

.

Life expectancy in the middle ages wasn’t as low as you think.

The average age was brought down

but that was mostly because of a high infant mortality rate.

Most adults lived well into their 60s.

the middle ages

.

.

Animal Kingdom was supposed to have had

a land devoted to mythical creatures,

but it was abandoned at the last minute.

However, no one thought about

changing the Animal Kingdom sign,

which still includes a dragon

disney-animal-kingdom-logo

.

.

Gorgias of Epirus, a Greek teacher

was born in his dead mother’s coffin.

The pallbearers heard him crying during the burial.

Gorgias of Epirus

.

.

Heresy comes from a Greek word meaning choice

Heresy-stamp

.

.

JFK was a huge James Bond fan.

He first met the author of the series,

Ian Fleming, at a dinner party in 1960.

They allegedly bounced around ideas

about how to get rid of Fidel Castro.

007

.

.

The world’s highest road is the Aucanquilcha mining road.

This mining road was once used by trucks

to climb this Chilean volcano to an altitude of over 6,000 meters.

Aucanquilcha mining road

.

.

In ancient Rome, urine was used as mouthwash.

(Now that really is taking the piss!)

urine was used as mouthwash

.

.

The musical Grease is one of the highest grossing of all time

with receipts Worldwide of $394,955,690.

I think this is the one that you want….

.

.

==========================================

.