May The 4th Quiz Be With You.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I don’t know what it is, but I can’t resist using that “May The Force Be With You” thing on this date. Sorry, but you’ll probably see another version of it next year if we’re all still around in the blogshpere.

But to get on with today’s real business, I do have another quiz for you.

The usual random selection and also as usual you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating.

Enjoy and good luck.

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quiz01

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Q.  1:  What word links vacations to the phonetic alphabet?

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Q.  2:  What is the collective noun for a group of owls?

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Q.  3:  ‘PL’ is the international car registration for which country?

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Q.  4:  What city is also known as the ‘City of 72 Nations’ ?

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Q.  5:  What is the highest score that can be awarded by a figure-skating judge?

            a) 2            b) 4            c) 6            d) 8            e) 10

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Q.  6:  For what operation on the brain was Antonio de Egas Moniz of Portugal awarded the Nobel prize for medicine in 1949?

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Q.  7:  Who was prime minster of China under Chairman Mao?

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Q.  8:  Which literary characters set out on a journey from the Tabard Inn, Southwark?

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Q.  9:  What is the brightest star in the night sky?

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Q. 10:  Spain has many famous ‘costas’. A point for each one of the following you can name correctly the four below and a bonus point if you get them all.

 

Costa   _  _  _  _  _  _

Costa   _  _  _  _  _

Costa   _  _  _  _  _  _

Costa   _  _  _      _  _  _

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Q. 11:  What name links the writers Kipling, Conrad and Heller?

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Q. 12:  As well as being a girl’s best friend Diamonds are a form of which chemical element?

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Q. 13:  What is the difference in paddles between canoeing and kayaking?

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Q. 14:  In which country is Liberation of Saigon Day on April 30 a public holiday?

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Q. 15:  What is created when the loop of a meander of a river is cut off and the river diverted on a different course?

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Q. 16:  The number of voting representatives in the House of Representatives was fixed by law in 1911 at what number?

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Q. 17:  What color is a Welsh poppy?

             a)  Blue            b) Yellow            c) Red            d) White

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Q. 18:  How many valves does a trumpet have?

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Q. 19:  Which is the only American state to begin with the letter ‘P’ ?

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Q. 20:  Which band were Living Next Door to Alice in 1976?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  What word links vacations to the phonetic alphabet?

A.  1:  Hotel.

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Q.  2:  What is the collective noun for a group of owls?

A.  2:  A parliament.

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Q.  3:  ‘PL’ is the international car registration for which country?

A.  3:  Poland.

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Q. 4: What city is also known as the ‘City of 72 Nations’ ?

A.  4:  Tehran.

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Q.  5:  What is the highest score that can be awarded by a figure-skating judge?

            a) 2            b) 4            c) 6            d) 8            e) 10

A.  5:  The correct answer is c) 6.

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Q.  6:  For what operation on the brain was Antonio de Egas Moniz of Portugal awarded the Nobel prize for medicine in 1949?

A.  6:  Prefrontal lobotomy.

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Q.  7:  Who was prime minster of China under Chairman Mao?

A.  7:  Chou En-Lai (or Zhou Enlai).

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Q.  8:  Which literary characters set out on a journey from the Tabard Inn, Southwark?

A.  8:  The pilgrims in Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales.

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Q.  9:  What is the brightest star in the night sky?

A.  9:  Sirius (The Dog Star).

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Q. 10:  Spain has many famous ‘costas’. A point for each one of the following you can name correctly the four below and a bonus point if you get them all.

Costa  _  _  _  _  _  _

Costa  _  _  _  _  _

Costa  _  _  _  _  _  _

Costa  _  _  _    _  _  _

A. 10:  The correct answers are Costa BLANCA, Costa BRAVA, Costa DORADA, and the Costa DEL SOL

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Q. 11:  What name links the writers Kipling, Conrad and Heller?

A. 11:  The answer is ‘Joseph’. Joseph Conrad, Joseph Heller and although he was much better known as Rudyard Kipling his first name was also Joseph.

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Q. 12:  As well as being a girl’s best friend Diamonds are a form of which chemical element?

A. 12:  Carbon.

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Q. 13:  What is the difference in paddles between canoeing and kayaking?

A. 13:  Canoe paddles have a single face and Kayak paddles a double face.

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Q. 14:  In which country is Liberation of Saigon Day on April 30 a public holiday?

A. 14:  Vietnam.

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Q. 15:  What is created when the loop of a meander of a river is cut off and the river diverted on a different course?

A. 15:  Oxbow Lake.

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Q. 16:  The number of voting representatives in the House of Representatives was fixed by law in 1911 at what number?

A. 16:  The number of voting representatives in the House of Representatives was fixed by law in 1911 at no more than 435, proportionally representing the population of the 50 states.

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Q. 17:  What color is a Welsh poppy?

             a)  Blue            b) Yellow            c) Red            d) White

A. 17:  The correct answer is b) Yellow.

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Q. 18:  How many valves does a trumpet have?

A. 18:  A trumpet has 3 valves.

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Q. 19:  Which is the only American state to begin with the letter ‘p’?

A. 19:  Pennsylvania.

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Q. 20:  Which band were Living Next Door to Alice in 1976?

A. 20:  Smokie.

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It’s The Day You All Look Forward To – Pun Day!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Well, maybe not ‘all’ of you. But some people like them.

Here are a few more.

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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I just learned the other day that a violin

is comprised of seventy separate pieces of wood.

It must be a fiddly job putting it all together!

violin maker

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I named my car flattery.

It gets me nowhere.

broken down car

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I got depressed when I lost my job at the Apple factory.

“Have you been taking any tablets?” asked the doctor.

“Yeah. Why do you think I got fired?”

Apple itablet

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I’ve started a band called ‘Nostalgia’.

If we don’t make it, at least people will remember us fondly.

Obracken-NostalgiaGoodTimesGoodTimes569

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My wife planted some seeds in the garden a while back

and just recently they’ve pushed through the soil.

She said to me today, “What do you think they are?”

“I don’t know,” I replied.  

“But they’ve definitely grown hyacinth we last looked at them.”

hyacinth

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I hopped on a bus today.

After five minutes, the driver told me to sit down.

Hopping-off-the-Bus

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Just had to close my new restaurant down.

It was called “Mexican Tortilla”.

I just kept getting calls from language students…

Mexican Tortilla

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As I sat cleaning my rifle, my wife nagged,

“I think you love that gun more than me.”

“Are you even listening to me?” she asked.

“Yes, deer,” I replied.

man-cleaning-inside-the-barrel-of-his-unloaded-rifle-gun-clipart-by-dennis-cox-at-wackystock

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I’ll never forget my first love.

She took me outside and showed me the garden.

She then showed me the hole, at the bottom of her garden.

Full of water.

“Throw in a coin and make a wish.” She said.

So I did.

I remember her well.

wishing well

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I started a business selling life support machines

but I’m on the verge of going bust.

Ironically, I’ve got to pull the plug.

life support machines

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A psychic told me how to get more friends on Facebook,

and it worked!

What a great social medium.

Cartoon-Fortune-Teller

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I tried to do a computer course

but I couldn’t hack it

computer course

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Just got back from the ‘Free Pussy Riot’ march.

Not what I was expecting,

apparently they’re some Russian band.

'Free Pussy Riot'

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Contrary to popular belief Owls are not wise,

they’re stupid and illiterate.

It’s “Tu Whit Tu WHOM!”

cartoon-owl

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“It’s nice to be served by somebody English for a change,”

I said to the waitress in a café.

“These days most of you are foreign and don’t understand a word I say. For instance…”

“For instance, what?” said the waitress, after a long pause.

“Four instant coffees, please.”

cartoon-of-aggressive-waitress

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