All You Have To Do Is Ask? Really??

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

They say that all you have to do is ask.

Well, I’m asking, so I guess the rest is up to you.

Here you go….

Why doesn’t onomatopoeia sound like what it is?

onomatopoeia

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Does a fish get cramps after eating?

cartoon fish swimming cramps

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Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a near miss ? Shouldn’t it be called a near hit ?

near miss

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Why isn’t palindrome spelled the same way backwards?

palindrome

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Why is it called TOOTHbrush when you brush all of your teeth?

toothbrush

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Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

fat chance slim chance

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If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?

water drop

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How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

a fool and his money

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Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

graveyard shift

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If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway

bugs bunny with carrot

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Where does the fire go when the fire goes out?

fire

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So what’s the speed of dark?

speed of dark

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Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?

multi-tasking

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Why do grocery stores buy so many checkout line registers if they only keep 3 or 4 open?

grocery checkout

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If anything’s possible, then is it possible that nothing’s possible?

anything is possible

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Does anyone actually kill two birds with one stone?

Kill Two Birds With One Stone by mcaldero

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Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?

Humpty Dumpty Sat on a wall

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It’s More Moronic Madness, Yes, It’s Quiz Show Monday!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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So how many idiots got elected last week? Not all of them I hope, but I bet there are at least a few intellectually challenged newbees in the corridors of power in Washington. 

On the lighter side, some of those who didn’t make it in politics made it on to television and appeared in quiz shows.

The results are not that much different to some of the dumb things said in Congress (oh, oh, I feel another post forming in my head) so here is a selection to get the week started with a smile.

Enjoy!  

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Q: In craps, what are the numbers you will need to roll an ‘Easy 10’?        

A: What are 9 and 1?    

craps dice

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Q: Paul III roared at him, “I have waited 30 years for your services. Now, I’m pope. Can’t I satisfy my desire?”        

A: Who is Lady Godiva?

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Q: If a Japanese “isha” (doctor) asks you to stick out your “shita”, he means this.           

A: What is your behind?

proctologist cartoon

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Q: To get to Wallace, Idaho from Boston, get on I-90 West, and the first one of these you ‘hit’, you’re there.        

A: What is a buffalo?

Buffalo

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Q: 2 of the 3 countries classified as extending across two continents     

A: What are Africa and Europe? 

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Q: The original one of these on Massachusetts’ Little Brewster Island was built in 1716; automation didn’t come until 1998.           

A: What is Kebert Xela?

Kebert Xela 

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Q: [The language that this statement, meaning “I love you guys”, is in:] Yr Wyf I’n Dy Garu Di      

A: What is Klingon?

A:  What is Welsh?       

klingon

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Q: He is the only sitting Vice President since Martin Van Buren to be elected President   

A: Who is Al Gore?

Al Gore cartoon

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Q: This nursery rhyme was based on actual events at a 1900 schoolhouse.         

A: What is ‘There once was a man from Nantucket?’       

There once was a man from Nantucket

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Q: In 2002, an elaborate dinner party was held at No. 10 to celebrate this many years’ reign by Elizabeth II           

A: Who is Tony Blair?   

Tony Blair cartoon

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Q: The Timon puppet in “The Lion King” was inspired by Bunraku, the traditional puppet theatre of this country     

A: What is Africa?        

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Q: Of the 5 permanent members of the UN Security Council, the one that is smallest in size         

A: What is my apartment?         

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Q: George Bernard Shaw called this condition “the greatest of evils and the worst of crimes.”       

A: What is marriage?

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Q: Of Pastism, Presentism or Futurism, the literary movement that began around 1909    

A: What is Modernism?

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Q: According to the old saying, “I scream, you scream, we all scream for…” what?          

A: Jim Beam

Jim Beam

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Q: Franklin D. Roosevelt is found on the head side of what American coin?        

A: $50 Bill

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Q: “If I can make it there, I can make it anywhere.” What city does that describe?

A: Phoenix

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Q: What was the magical item that brought Frosty the Snowman to life? 

A: Corncob pipe

corn cob pipes 

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Q: What vehicle is used in the Tour de France race?       

A: SUVs

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Q: What eye ailment is the more common name for “myopia?”    

A: You think you’re right

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 A myopic video

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