There’s A Fine Line Between Hyphenated Words…

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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There is indeed a fine line between hyphenated words – haven’t you noticed?

Yes, it’s the day to play on words, or play with words.

Whatever way you want to put it, it’s pun day!

Enjoy or endure!

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The other day I held the door open for a clown.

I thought it was a nice jester.

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I thought my Granny was going to get me a jumper for my birthday

but she just gave me a card again.

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I play for my shop fitting company’s football team.

We are great on the counter attack.

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I’ve sent a few angry letters to my Congressman.

A ‘G’ and three ‘R’s.

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I had a good morning today, I met Cameron Diaz.

And her brother, Buenos.

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I’m lying in bed listening to the Carpenters…

Who are taking way too long installing the new kitchen.

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I’ve just started a new extermination company

that specialises in felines.

I’m calling it curiosity.

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L’Oreal Saudi Arabia.

Burkas you’re worth it.

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My other half reckons I might have schizophrenia!

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I took a poll recently,

and 100% of the strippers asked

were angry they had nothing to dance on.

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“OK son, what do you understand

by the word ‘omniscient’?”

He said, “God knows…”

What a clever little boy!

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I’m writing a post about storms.

So far, it’s just a rough draft.

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Did you hear about the mexcian train killer?

He had locomotives.

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What’s the singular of ‘werewolves’?

‘I’m a wolf’.

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I was gob smacked when my Swedish friend came to

visit from the states and was now living as a woman.

He was Bjorn in the U.S.A.

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Hey, I Just Realized That Nothing In The Dictionary Begins With An ‘N’.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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The clue is always in the title.

If you haven’t guessed already, welcome to the first pun day of 2014.

Well, somebody has to stick up for the mighty word play, so it might as well be me.

Love to hate or hate to love here is this year’s first selection – the first of many I hope!

Enjoy.

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I got a new reversible jacket for Christmas.

I’m excited to see how it turns out.

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Whenever I have had a bad day I console myself

by playing with my Playstation.

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Jamaican newspapers have asserted

that certain strains of marijuana can cure migraines.

Clearly propaganja.

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I took part in a bondage contest last night.

I was tied third.

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I think the people at Apple are so lucky.

They still get paid even after they’ve lost their jobs.

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Our little boy was rushed to hospital at the weekend,

after he’d swallowed some Scrabble tiles.

They’ve given him laxatives but as of yet,

there hasn’t been a word out of him.

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I suppose you could say that a voyeur

was a peep hole person.

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When I was a kid I once thought I had a Japanese friend.

But it was just my imagine Asian.

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Me and the wife were at the hardware store choosing a new kitchen.

She asked me, “Do you reckon we could fit that sink in the car?”

Stupid woman, doesn’t she know cars don’t have any plumbing?

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I went to a theme park that had the world’s largest pool table.

The cues were massive.

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Say what you will about Columbus,

but he did put America on the map.

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My wife is a vet and a great cook.

But I refuse to eat anything that she puts down in front of me.

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When they eventually colonize Mars

there’s going to be another housing bubble.

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Although it seemed to go on forever

Magnum PI only solved 3.14 crimes.

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“You ok Dave?”

“I’m not sure…

my Doctor did a rectal exam on me this morning.”

“Oh right. Prostate?”

“No, bent over his desk.”

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