Ready To Give Your Head A Good Workout?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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The title means, of course, that it is quiz day again.

So if you are ready to give your head a bit of a work out to start the week you’ve come to the right place.

Easy, tricky and difficult, you should find something in this lot to make you think a bit. And if you get stuck you know the answers are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below – but NO cheating.

Enjoy.

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Quiz 03

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Q.  1:  We all know about Martha Stewart, but what did the American Martha Graham become famous for?

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Q.  2:  What is the capital of Finland?

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Q.  3:  What in the human body is the epidermis?

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Q.  4:  Sitting Bull, a victorious chief at the Battle of Little Big Horn later went on tour in which travelling show?

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Q.  5:  In which famous short animation movie from 1969 does a beloved Disney character meet an untimely end?

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Q.  6:  Which very popular writer with a degree invented the word ‘nerd’?

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Q.  7:  Which three animals (a point for each) are directly responsible for  the most deaths each year in the USA? (The mosquito is excluded, as are fatalities resulting from a car crash with animals)

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Q.  8:  James Madison was the first US President to sport which clothing fashion?

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Q.  9:  In which two movies does Henry Fonda play the US President; and in which monumental movie does he play the ‘Medal of Honor’ winning son of US President Teddy Roosevelt? (Again a point for each correct answer)

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Q. 10:  Which Frenchman, famous for abhorring bad drink, said “A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world”?

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Q. 11:  David Hedison, Jack Lord, Rik van Nutter, Jeffrey Wright, John Terry, Cec Linder, Michael Pate, Norman Burton and Bernard Casey have all played which role in movies?

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Q. 12:  What kind of burst is the most powerful radiation known to science?  

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Q. 13:  Leningrad, Fort Sumter, Sarajevo and Massada are all examples of what?

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Q. 14:  Which famous Russian female made around the world headlines after the 3rd of November 1957?

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Q. 15:  Like other coastal regions in the area, what was the coast of Florida called in the 16th century?

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Q. 16:  What was depicted on the seal of the Knights Templar?

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Q. 17:  Which worry prone movie character is fluent in more than 6,000,000 forms of communication?

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Q. 18:  The name for which delightful and lofty empyrean goal stems from the Persian word for ‘walled enclosure’?

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Q. 19:  In which five US states has the USA tested atom bombs? (Another chance to get a point for each correct answer)

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Q. 20:  Philadelphia is the old name for the largest city in which country?

 

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  We all know about Martha Stewart, but what did the American Martha Graham become famous for?

A.  1:  As a Modern Dancer / Choreographer

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Q.  2:  What is the capital of Finland?

A.  2:  Helsinki

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Q.  3:  What in the human body is the epidermis?

A.  3:  Skin

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Q.  4:  Sitting Bull, a victorious chief at the Battle of Little Big Horn later went on tour in which travelling show?

A.  4:  Buffalo Bill’s Wild West Show

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Q.  5:  In which famous short animation movie from 1969 does a beloved Disney character meet an untimely end?

A.  5:  Bambi meets Godzilla

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Q.  6:  Which very popular writer with a degree invented the word ‘nerd’?

A.  6:  Dr. Seuss.  From the book ‘If I ran the zoo’.

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Q.  7:  Which three animals (a point for each) are directly responsible for  the most deaths each year in the USA? (The mosquito is excluded, as are fatalities resulting from a car crash with animals)

A.  7:  Bees, dogs and horses.

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Q.  8:  James Madison was the first US President to sport which clothing fashion?

A.  8:  Long trousers (pants)

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Q.  9:  In which two movies does Henry Fonda play the US President; and in which monumental movie does he play the ‘Medal of Honor’ winning son of US President Teddy Roosevelt? (Again a point for each correct answer)

A.  9:  Fonda plays the US President in ‘Fail Safe’ and ‘Meteor’. In ‘The longest day’ he plays Teddy Roosevelt Jr.

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Q. 10:  Which Frenchman, famous for abhorring bad drink, said “A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world”?

A. 10:  Louis Pasteur

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Q. 11:  David Hedison, Jack Lord, Rik van Nutter, Jeffrey Wright, John Terry, Cec Linder, Michael Pate, Norman Burton and Bernard Casey have all played which role in movies?

A. 11:  CIA agent Felix Leiter in Bond films.

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Q. 12:  What kind of burst is the most powerful radiation known to science?  

A. 12:  A gamma ray burst. (A burst recorded in December 1997 was for a few seconds brighter than all the other objects in the entire universe put together.)

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Q. 13:  Leningrad, Fort Sumter, Sarajevo and Massada are all examples of what?

A. 13:  Famous or infamous sieges.

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Q. 14:  Which famous Russian female made around the world headlines after the 3rd of November 1957?

A. 14:  Laika. The Russian cosmonaut dog. (or muttnik )

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Q. 15:  Like other coastal regions in the area, what was the coast of Florida called in the 16th century?

A. 15:  The Spanish Main

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Q. 16:  What was depicted on the seal of the Knights Templar?

A. 16:  Two knights riding on one horse.

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Q. 17:  Which worry prone movie character is fluent in more than 6,000,000 forms of communication?

A. 17:  C3PO

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Q. 18:  The name for which delightful and lofty empyrean goal stems from the Persian word for ‘walled enclosure’?

A. 18:  Paradise

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Q. 19:  In which five US states has the USA tested atom bombs? (Another chance to get a point for each correct answer)

A. 19:  New Mexico, Nevada, Colorado, Alaska and Mississippi.

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Q. 20:  Philadelphia is the old name for the largest city in which country?

A. 20:  Jordan  (The city of Amman)

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‘A Sad Ray Gun, Man’

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

‘A Sad Ray Gun, Man’

Did you get it?

Yes. its ‘Anagram Sunday’.

Enjoy.

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‘rescued’

secured

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘mother-in-law’

woman hitler

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘David Letterman’

nerd amid late tv

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘snooze alarms’

alas no more z’s

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘To cast pearls before swine’

One’s labor is perfect waste

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘Vacation Times’

I’m Not as Active

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘The Hilton’

Hint: Hotel

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘Payment received’

Every cent paid me

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘Postmaster’

Stamp Store

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘School master’

The classroom

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘The Hurricanes’

These churn air

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘Waitress’

A stew, Sir?

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘certainly not’

can’t rely on it

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘Emperor Octavian’

Captain over Rome

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘a perfectionist’

I often practice

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘A shoplifter’

has to pilfer

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘asteroid threats’

disaster to earth

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘Breasts’

Bra sets

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘Contradiction’

Accord not in it

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘I think therefore I am’

I fear to think I’m here

 

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You’re Too Stupid To Own A Computer

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

 

“If the automobile had followed the same development as the computer,
a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100,
get a million miles per gallon,
and explode once a year killing everyone inside.”

Robert Cringel

I have been involved with computers for many years. I remember using mainframe machines with data inputted on punch cards and bits of flimsy tape, and the machines, which in those days had no monitors, they were just glorified teletype printers, chugging (and I mean chugging) out the results that would have meant absolutely nothing to the uninitiated.

In the grand scheme of things all that wasn’t really so long ago, and at the time it was cutting edge technology and terribly exciting, although now it seems so archaic.

In those days you didn’t quite have to be a nerd or a geek (but it helped) although you did have to have a certain level of education and understanding of mathematics and computer science to be able to make the machines do what you wanted them to do. Or try to, they were a bit temperamental. These machines were also horribly expensive and were to be found only in universities and larger companies, thus, whilst people did get themselves into tangles now and again, there was usually someone on hand to help out.

Then along came the personal computer revolution, which we are now well and truly in the midst of, and which has changed the world forever.

Thousands of new companies were spawned out of this revolution, hardware manufacturers, software manufacturers, various support and service industries. People were churning out all sorts of stuff, a lot of it rubbish, some of it good, but all of it difficult for the beginner to use. Before the advent of GUI personal computers were not user friendly at all. Therefore at some stage in the proceedings those who bought them would get stuck or something would go wrong.

Thus were born the infamous computer “help lines”.

I have highlighted these before in a couple of earlier blog posts “Computer Company Help Lines”  and “Cancel The Account”.

Here are a couple more non video examples that I hope you will also enjoy.

Right Click

Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”

Customer: “Ok.”

Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”

Customer: “No.”

Tech Support: “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”

Customer: “No.”

Tech Support: “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?”

Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.”

(At this point I had to put the caller on hold to tell the rest of the tech support staff what had happened. I couldn’t, however, stop from giggling when I got back to the call.)

Tech Support: “Ok, did you type ‘click’ with the keyboard?”

Customer: “I have done something dumb, right?”
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Blank Screen


Allegedly this is the transcript of a recorded conversation between a caller and a computer helpline. It’s a few years old now, but still amusing.

 

Tech Support:   May I help you?

Customer:   Yes, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.

 

Tech Support:   What sort of trouble?

Customer:   Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.

 

Tech Support:   Went away?

Customer:   They disappeared.

 

Tech Support:   Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?

Customer:    Nothing.

 

Tech Support:   Nothing?

Customer:   It’s blank. It won’t accept anything when I type.

 

Tech Support:   Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?

Customer:   How do I tell?

 

Tech Support:   Can you see the C prompt on the screen?

Customer:   What’s a sea prompt?

 

Tech Support:   Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?

Customer:   There isn’t any cursor. I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.

 

Tech Support:   Does your monitor have a power indicator?

Customer:   What’s a monitor?

 

Tech Support:   It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?

Customer:   I don’t know.

 

Tech Support:   Well, look round the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?

Customer:   …yes, I think so.

 

Tech Support:   Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.

Customer:   …yes, it is.

 

Tech Support:   When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back, not just one?

Customer:    No.

 

Tech Support:   Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.

Customer:   …OK, here it is.

 

Tech Support:   Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.

Customer:   I can’t reach.

 

Tech Support:   Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?

Customer:    No.

 

Tech Support:  Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?

Customer:   Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle, it’s because it’s dark.

 

Tech Support:   Dark?

Customer:    Yes. The office lights are off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.

 

Tech Support:   Well, turn the office lights on then.

Customer:   I can’t.

 

Tech Support:   No? Why not?

Customer:    Because there’s a power outage.

 

Tech Support:   A power… a power outage? Aha! OK, we’ve got you licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?

Customer:   Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.

 

Tech Support:   Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store that you bought it from.

Customer:   Really? Is it that bad?

 

Tech Support:   Yes, I’m afraid it is.

Customer:   Well, alright then, I suppose. What do I tell them?

 

Tech Support:   Tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer.

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Computer user
Computer user