Another Week, Another Quiz!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Hi, and welcome to another week and to start it off, another quiz.

The usual selection of random questions to test your knowledge.

And, as usual, if you get stuck you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please, NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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Q.  1:  This one is the name of a famous city and also the man who ran away with Helen?

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Q.  2:  What is the highest mountain in Africa?

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Q.  3:  On which river does the city of Vienna stand?

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Q.  4:  Who was the Empress of India in 1876?

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Q.  5:  In which South American country did the ‘bossa nova’ originate?

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Q.  6:  The so-called “Pastry war” of 1838 was fought between which two nations?

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Q.  7:  Which capital city features in the name of a movie starring Sabu and based on the Arabian Nights?

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Q.  8:  What started in a bakery in Pudding Lane in 1666?

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Q.  9:  To which country does the island of Madeira belong?

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Q. 10:  It’s almost time for the Hollywood Academy Awards again, but who won the Academy Award for best actress two years in a row in 1967 and 1968? (Bonus points if you can also name the movies.)

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Q. 11:  How old was Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart when he died in 1791?

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Q. 12:  What U.S. President committed an unpardonable sin by kissing Britain’s Queen Mother on the lips?

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Q. 13:  On which small island did the USA first test their H bomb in 1954?

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Q. 14:  Most people have heard of the phrase “Crossing the Rubicon” meaning to pass a point of no return, but who was the source of the phrase when he crossed the Rubicon and who was his opponent? (A point for each.)

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Q. 15:  What make of car did Lenin and Stalin have one of that Brezhnev had three of?

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Q. 16:  Which country seceded from Colombia in 1903?

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Q. 17:  Which famous movie title is the Mexican name for the river known in the USA as ‘Rio Grande’?

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Q. 18:  in 1984 who were Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis?

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Q. 19:  What mythological creature did Britain’s King George V have tattooed on his right arm?

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Q. 20:  Versions of this popular song have been recorded by Julie Covington, Madonna, Sarah Brighman, Elaine Paige, Sinead O’Connor, Susan Erens and The Carpenters, among others, what is it?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  This one is the name of a famous city and also the man who ran away with Helen?

A.  1:  Paris.

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Q.  2:  What is the highest mountain in Africa?

A.  2:  Mt. Kilimanjaro.

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Q.  3:  On which river does the city of Vienna stand?

A.  3:  The River Danube.

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Q.  4:  Who was the Empress of India in 1876?

A.  4:  Britain’s Queen Victoria.

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Q.  5:  In which South American country did the ‘bossa nova’ originate?

A.  5:  Brazil.

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Q.  6:  The so-called “Pastry war” of 1838 was fought between which two nations?

A.  6:  Mexico and France.

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Q.  7:  Which capital city features in the name of a movie starring Sabu and based on the Arabian Nights?

A.  7:  Baghdad, the name of the movie is “The Thief of Baghdad”.

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Q.  8:  What started in a bakery in Pudding Lane in 1666?

A.  8:  The great fire of London.

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Q.  9:  To which country does the island of Madeira belong?

A.  9:  Portugal.

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Q. 10:  It’s almost time for the Hollywood Academy Awards again, but who won the Academy Award for best actress two years in a row in 1967 and 1968? (Bonus points if you can also name the movies.)

A. 10:  Katharine Hepburn, in 1967 for ‘Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner’ and in 1968 for ‘The Lion In Winter’.

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Q. 11:  How old was Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart when he died in 1791?

A. 11:  Only 35 years old.

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Q. 12:  What U.S. President committed an unpardonable sin by kissing Britain’s Queen Mother on the lips?

A. 12:  President Jimmy Carter.

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Q. 13:  On which small island did the USA first test their H bomb in 1954?

A. 13:  Bikini.

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Q. 14:  Most people have heard of the phrase “Crossing the Rubicon” meaning to pass a point of no return, but who was the source of the phrase when he crossed the Rubicon and who was his opponent? (A point for each.)

A. 14:  The phrase originated when Julius Caesar crossed the River Rubicon to fight Pompey.

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Q. 15:  What make of car did Lenin and Stalin have one of that Brezhnev had three of?

A. 15:  Rolls Royce.

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Q. 16:  Which country seceded from Colombia in 1903?

A. 16:  Panama.

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Q. 17:  Which famous movie title is the Mexican name for the river known in the USA as ‘Rio Grande’?

A. 17: Rio Bravo

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Q. 18:  in 1984 who were Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis?

A. 18:  They were the ‘Ghostbusters’, a group of misfit parapsychologists Peter Venkman (Bill Murray), Raymond Stantz (Dan Aykroyd), and Egon Spengler (Harold Ramis).

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Q. 19:  What mythological creature did Britain’s King George V have tattooed on his right arm?

A. 19:  A Dragon.

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Q. 20:  Versions of this popular song have been recorded by Julie Covington, Madonna, Sarah Brighman, Elaine Paige, Sinead O’Connor, Susan Erens and The Carpenters, among others, what is it?

A. 20:  “Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina”

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It’s The Day You All Look Forward To – Pun Day!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Well, maybe not ‘all’ of you. But some people like them.

Here are a few more.

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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I just learned the other day that a violin

is comprised of seventy separate pieces of wood.

It must be a fiddly job putting it all together!

violin maker

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I named my car flattery.

It gets me nowhere.

broken down car

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I got depressed when I lost my job at the Apple factory.

“Have you been taking any tablets?” asked the doctor.

“Yeah. Why do you think I got fired?”

Apple itablet

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I’ve started a band called ‘Nostalgia’.

If we don’t make it, at least people will remember us fondly.

Obracken-NostalgiaGoodTimesGoodTimes569

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My wife planted some seeds in the garden a while back

and just recently they’ve pushed through the soil.

She said to me today, “What do you think they are?”

“I don’t know,” I replied.  

“But they’ve definitely grown hyacinth we last looked at them.”

hyacinth

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I hopped on a bus today.

After five minutes, the driver told me to sit down.

Hopping-off-the-Bus

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Just had to close my new restaurant down.

It was called “Mexican Tortilla”.

I just kept getting calls from language students…

Mexican Tortilla

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As I sat cleaning my rifle, my wife nagged,

“I think you love that gun more than me.”

“Are you even listening to me?” she asked.

“Yes, deer,” I replied.

man-cleaning-inside-the-barrel-of-his-unloaded-rifle-gun-clipart-by-dennis-cox-at-wackystock

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I’ll never forget my first love.

She took me outside and showed me the garden.

She then showed me the hole, at the bottom of her garden.

Full of water.

“Throw in a coin and make a wish.” She said.

So I did.

I remember her well.

wishing well

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I started a business selling life support machines

but I’m on the verge of going bust.

Ironically, I’ve got to pull the plug.

life support machines

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A psychic told me how to get more friends on Facebook,

and it worked!

What a great social medium.

Cartoon-Fortune-Teller

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I tried to do a computer course

but I couldn’t hack it

computer course

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Just got back from the ‘Free Pussy Riot’ march.

Not what I was expecting,

apparently they’re some Russian band.

'Free Pussy Riot'

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Contrary to popular belief Owls are not wise,

they’re stupid and illiterate.

It’s “Tu Whit Tu WHOM!”

cartoon-owl

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“It’s nice to be served by somebody English for a change,”

I said to the waitress in a café.

“These days most of you are foreign and don’t understand a word I say. For instance…”

“For instance, what?” said the waitress, after a long pause.

“Four instant coffees, please.”

cartoon-of-aggressive-waitress

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Is It Just Me, Or Are There Any Other Anagrams Of Em?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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No, it’s not just me.

Loads of people like puns and pun day.

Here’s another one.

Enjoy!

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rofl

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If you’re fishing for compliments

it’s best to use allure.

fishing for compliments

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I just pitched a tent in the garden.

Surprised myself how far I could throw it.

tent--colored-cartoon-illustration

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I was telling a friend that I made a

ventriloquist’s dummy out of some old carpet.

“Any good?” he queried.

“Nah, it’s ruggish,” I replied.

ventriloquist's dummy

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I was stunned to find my Taser gun was still switched on.

Taser-Gun

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I shouldn’t have dumped my girlfriend after

overhearing her making fun of my poor endowment.

Turned out she was a financial adviser

endowment

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I’ve been using X and Y chromosomes in my

adverts recently since, after all, sex cells…

X and Y chromosomes

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Last night I looked up at the stars and thought:

“It’s crap being a dwarf in Hollywood.”

grumpy dwarf

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When I was young, I used to think CCTV was

a very positive Spanish television channel.

cctv4

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I’ve got an injured extraterrestrial in my shed.

He’s missing an eye.

I’ve called him Alen.

one eyed alien

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My dog’s been sitting in the corner, feeling

sorry for himself, for three days.

I knew I shouldn’t have bought a Pitiful Terrier

scared-dog

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I saw a headline in the local paper:

“Huge Grant Saves Derelict Theatre”.

I thought: That was nice of him.

hugh grant

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I’m a doctor. My wife’s a judge.

She knows how to try my patients.

judge-with-gavel

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My missus says she is leaving me because of my obsession with pool.

“Come on love”, I said. “Give me a break”.

pool break

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I thought I’d dug up an unknown species

of dinosaur in my back garden.

Excitedly I phoned the Natural History Museum,

but it turned out to be a fossil arm.

fossil

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I’ve taken thousands of showers over the years.

Never been caught once.

shower-cartoon

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A friend asked me if I knew any words that could describe relief.

I told him I know a phew

phew

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I bought a new thesaurus today.

It’s nothing to write house about.

thesaurus

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I went for a colonic irrigation today,

then got hit with a huge $659 bill.

It really cleaned me out.

colonic-irrigation

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I phoned up the incontinence hotline today and

the lady on the other end asked where I’m ringing from.

I said, “From the waist down.”

incontinence hot line

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What do Mexican Robots Eat?

Silicon-Carne

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