Veni, Vidi, Velcro… I Came, I Saw, I Stuck Around.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I hope you stick around too, because it’s another Pun Day.

You know the drill….

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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My little cousin has been diagnosed with an unusual case of OCD

where all he does all day is organize dinner plates by the year they were made,

It’s an extremely rare dish-order

spinning-plates

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I’ve written my own book

called 50 Shades of Gravy.

It’s very saucy.

gravy

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I’m an easy target for muggers.

Take it from me.

mugger

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I knew I had failed my Braille exam at the time.

It just felt wrong.

Braille exam

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“How’s your new stairlift nan?”

“It’s driving me up the wall.”

stairlift

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Just finished an experiment to find

the best cure for hiccups.

The result was a big surprise.

Hiccups-Scare

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I stabbed someone with a blunt pencil today.

It was an act of pointless violence.

blunt pencil

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I just took some pills and now my pupils look massive!

I really shouldn’t take hallucinogenic drugs while teaching.

The Simpsons Homer Dilated Pupil

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The wife would like us to feel a gentle and relaxing breeze

all over our bodies when we have sex.

I’m not a fan.

fan

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I thought I’d dug up an unknown

species of dinosaur in my back garden.

Excitedly I phoned the Natural History Museum,

but it turned out to be a fossil arm.

fossil arm

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Do you think eating horse meat

would give you the trots?

the trots

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I got my girlfriend the Connery and Dalton

James Bond movies for her birthday,

but she wasn’t happy.

I think she was expecting Moore.

roger_moore___007

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Hungry astronomers don’t like galaxies,

they prefer something that’s a little meteor.

meteor

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I have an Eskimo fetish,

but most people just aren’t that Inuit.

Selawik-Eskimo-Woman

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I’ve booked a table at one of those new

Elvis Presley-themed steakhouses.

They’re for people who love meat tender.

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Did You Know? More Interesting Facts To Ponder

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another delve into the fasab fact file today.

If you are interested in facts, information or trivia there will hopefully be something in here for you.

Enjoy.

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did you know5 

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The first Ford cars had Dodge engines.

1903 Ford Model A

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The oldest known goldfish lived to 43 years of age.

Its name was Tish.

oldest goldfish

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There are only thirteen blimps in the world.

Nine of them are in the United States.

blimp_Goodyear

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In 1967, the IMAX film system was invented by Canadians

Graeme Ferguson, Roman Kroitor, Robert Kerr, and William C. Shaw

and premiered at Expo 67.

IMAX-home-theater

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Texas is also the only state that is allowed to fly its state flag

at the same height as the U.S. flag.

Texas Flag

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The typical lead pencil can draw a line

that is thirty five miles long

Pencils_hb

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Pollsters say that 40 percent of dog and cat owners

carry pictures of the pets in their wallets.

Pet-Care-Dog

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A meteor has only destroyed one satellite,

which was the European Space Agency’s Olympus in 1993.

olympus

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The average American drinks about 600 sodas a year.

sodas

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When Queen Elizabeth I of England died

she owned over 3,000 gowns

elizabethan gown

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The smallest man ever was Gul Mohammed (1957-1997) of India,

who measured 1 feet, 10 inches

gul-mohammed

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Before the fur trade had started in Canada,

it was estimated that there were over 6 million beavers

beaver

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In 1962, the first Wal-Mart opened up in Rogers, Arkansas

walmarts-first-ad

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The Saguaro Cactus, found in South-western United States

does not grow branches until it is 75 years old.

Saguaro Cactus

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Japan has approximately 200 volcanoes

and is home to 10% of the active volcanoes in the world

volcano-mt-asama-tokyo

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The Dutch people are known to be

the tallest people in Europe

holland tall people

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The word Nike comes from Greek Mythology.

Nike is the goddess of victory and was often depicted

as a small winged figure carried by the goddess Athene.

Nike

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The long fibers that are found in the banana plant

can make paper approximately 3000 times stronger than regular paper.

banana-paper-notebook

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The city of Seoul has been the capital city of Korea

for more than 600 years

Seoul-South-Korea

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In Ivrea, Italy, thousands of citizens celebrate the beginning of Lent

by throwing oranges at one another.

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