What Would Mondays Be Without Another Quiz?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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What would Mondays be without another quiz to get the intellect moving.

They’re random, they’re easy except for the difficult ones, and one or two are a bit tricky.

Try them out and see how you do.

The answers are waaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy.

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quiz7

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Q  1:  Which city in the world has the most hotel rooms?

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Q  2:  What is a baby kangaroo called?

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Q  3:  The wheelbarrow was invented by whom?

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Q  4:  Who was the first player to win $1 million on the PGA Tour?

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Q  5:  Who is known as Rashin Coatie in Scotland, Zezolla in Italy, and Yeh-hsien in China?

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Q  6:  What is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt.”

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Q  7:  What world’s best-selling book, is also the world’s most shoplifted book?

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Q  8:  How are Warren Beatty and Shirley McLaine related?

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Q  9:  What is the only country with a square flag?

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Q 10:  What is the only US state that has borders with only one other US state.

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Q 11:  The largest taxi fleet in the world is found in which city?

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Q 12:  What is the largest landlocked country in the world?

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Q 13:  Dogs, monkeys and humans have been sent into space, but never birds. Why?

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Q 14:  What question can you never answer “yes” to without lying?

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Q 15:  How many birthdays does the average man have?

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Q 16:  What turns everything around without moving?     

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Q 17:  What type of building has the most stories?        

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Q 18:  Hydroxydesoxycorticosterone and hydroxydeoxycorticosterones are the largest what?

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Q 19:  In which American city are there famously fewer people than there are automobiles.

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Q 20:  What movie character is also known as “Mr. Kiss-Kiss-Bang-Bang”?

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ANSWERS

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Q  1:  Which city in the world has the most hotel rooms?

A  1:  Las Vegas

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Q  2:  What is a baby kangaroo called?

A  2:  A joey

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Q  3:  The wheelbarrow was invented by whom?

A  3:  The Chinese.

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Q  4:  Who was the first player to win $1 million on the PGA Tour?

A  4:  Arnold Palmer

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Q  5:  Who is known as Rashin Coatie in Scotland, Zezolla in Italy, and Yeh-hsien in China?

A  5:  Cinderella

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Q  6:  What is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt.”

A  6:  “Dreamt”

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Q  7:  What world’s best-selling book, is also the world’s most shoplifted book?

A  7:  The Bible

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Q  8:  How are Warren Beatty and Shirley McLaine related?

A  8:  They are brother and sister.

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Q  9:  What is the only country with a square flag?

A  9:  Switzerland

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Q 10:  What is the only US state that has borders with only one other US state.

A 10:  Maine

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Q 11:  The largest taxi fleet in the world is found in which city?

A 11:  Mexico City. The city boasts a fleet of over 60,000 taxis.

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Q 12:  What is the largest landlocked country in the world?

A 12:  Mongolia

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Q 13:  Dogs, monkeys and humans have been sent into space, but never birds. Why?

A 13:  Because they would soon die; birds need gravity to swallow.

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Q 14:  What question can you never answer “yes” to without lying?

A 14:   “Are you asleep?”

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Q 15:  How many birthdays does the average man have?

A 15:  One. Every year you celebrate that day in which you were born – but it is not your ‘birth day’.

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Q 16:  What turns everything around without moving?     

A  16:  A Mirror

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Q 17:  What type of building has the most stories?        

A 17:  Library

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Q 18:  Hydroxydesoxycorticosterone and hydroxydeoxycorticosterones are the largest what?

A 18:  Hydroxydesoxycorticosterone and hydroxydeoxycorticosterones are the largest anagrams.

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Q 19:  In which American city are there famously fewer people than there are automobiles.

A 19:  Los Angeles or L.A.

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Q 20:  What movie character is also known as “Mr. Kiss-Kiss-Bang-Bang”?

A 20:  James Bond

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Cole’s Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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In case the title didn’t give it away, today is pun day!

Hurrah and enjoy!!

But first a quick medical alert….

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Medical Alert:

When you play golf iron deficiencies

can lead to a risk of increased strokes.

golf-bad-cartoon

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I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from.

Then it dawned on me.

dawn

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I was devastated when my girlfriend left me for a dwarf.

I never thought she would stoop so low

tall-woman

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“I only have diamonds, clubs and spades,”

said Tom heartlessly

cardplayers

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Ever wonder why the person who invented the door knocker

wasn’t awarded a No-bell prize.

DoorKnocker

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I walked down a street where the houses were numbered

64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB.

That was a trip down memory lane.

MEMORY_LANE

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If anyone ever says to you that they’ve lost their voice,

They’re lying.

lost voice cartoon

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Tires are fixed for a flat rate.

flat tire cartoon

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If you suffer from kleptomania,

should you take something for it?

Kleptomania

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I’ve taken up a part time course in counterfeiting.

I’m forging ahead.

boris-drucker-every-dollar-we-counterfeit-costs-us-a-buck-and-a-half-cartoon

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I broke up with my girlfriend last night.

It happened on the forecourt of a gas station.

Very emotional breakup.

She was in tears and I was filling up….

pumping-gas

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The latest market research shows a growing trend

for eating high-fibre cereal for breakfast,

with the result that people are experiencing

greater regularity in their bowel movements.

With trends like that,

who needs enemas?

enemas

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Did you hear about the bird that sat on an axe?

It was trying to hatchet

Hatchet

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A boy came into the house with a sofa on his back.

His mother said,

“How many times have I told you not to accept suites from strangers!?”

suites from strangers

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I was watching a tv program about the people in Holland who make their traditional clogs?

I thought, I’d like to try that

Wooden shoe?

wooden-clogs

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A fishing boat is working the North Sea, when suddenly it starts shipping water.

It puts out a Mayday message:

“Help! Help! We are sinking!”

A few minutes back the reply comes through:

“Zis is ze German coastguard. Vot are you sinking about?”

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I’ve eaten steak tartar,

but only on rare occasions

mr-bean-steak-tartare

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un oeuf is enough as they say in France!

tray bien

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My laptop is broken.

It just keeps playing “Skyfall” over and over again.

Probably because it’s a Dell.

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Gandolfo, And Step On It!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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No, this post has nothing to do with The Lord Of The Rings, this is about Papal rings and the fact that the general public are, yet again, being fed a string of lies and deceit by the powers that be.

Don’t you hate it when people lie to you, and you know they are lying to you, and they continue to lie anyway?

Pope Benedict has resigned right enough, that part seems to be true, but not because of ill health or because he is senile or any of the other excuses offered to the public.

In fact since the shock resignation announcement the truth has seldom if ever raise it’s little head.

Until now.

Now we are finding out that Benedict’s resignation really has to do with a frantic power struggle within the Vatican, and about scandals related to money-laundering via the Vatican’s IOR bank, and a gay sex ring among the Cardinals.

Can a younger man do what Benedict couldn’t and sort out the obvious mess that exists? Only time will tell. But it makes for an interesting election and tough time ahead for whoever gets the white smoke.

In the meantime the Holy See it seems is all at sea. 

Castel Gandolfo
Pope Benedict’s retreat, Castel Gandolfo, about 15 miles southest of Rome in the Alban Hills.

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A Question Of Lies And Gross Indecency, But Just Who Is Responsible?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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The election is looming. Just about a month to go in fact.

Despite his numerous gaffs, after the first televised debate Romney has pulled slightly ahead in the polls and according to news reports, is “hardening his lead”, mainly on the back of a lackluster performance by Obama.

The VP debate last week didn’t produce a clear leader either – just created a frenzy among viewers to find out who was under the desk tickling Biden’s feet.

Last evening’s bout at Hofstra University, in Hempstead, New York didn’t produce a clear winner for me either, although some media polls put Obama ahead. His performance was certainly way better than in debate one, but you could easily have written the totally predictable moron media’s “Obama fights back” headlines without even watching it.

What this all means is that it’s still all to play for and far too close to call. In the end the committed supporters on each side will largely cancel each other out and the king-makers (or president-makers in this case) will be the 5 to 10 percent so far undecided.

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Does it really matter who wins? After all, when it’s all done and dusted, the same types of people will hold the same offices as before. They will do the same things as before. And the mess we are all in will be as big as before – or bigger. I hope you have noticed that there has been a distinct failure by BOTH candidates to address the economic crisis in any meaningful and specific terms.  

But there are two other questions we need to address.

First, there is an obscenity here that no one is talking very much about. Call it the elephant and the donkey in the room if you like. It is an obscenity that has been around for far too long, but today in our current dire economic circumstances, it has been elevated to the level of gross indecency.

What am I ranting on about this time?

political money badge

 

Well, if you hadn’t guessed already, the obscenity I am referring to is the scandalous amount of money that BOTH presidential candidates are wasting trying to get themselves elected.

We all know Romney is a multi-millionaire, with equally rich chums or better, so it maybe isn’t such a surprise that he is able to raise hundreds of millions of dollars for his campaign war chest.

What is more surprising is Obama. His war chest is actually bigger than Romney’s and, quite unbelievably, is about to hit and probably surpass the $1 billion mark. It may already have by the time you read this.

Obama war chest

 

I know a billion dollars isn’t what it used to be in terms of purchasing power, but it can still buy a lot of stuff. If you are having any difficulty visualizing how much a billion dollars is, think of it this way. The median income in the United States is around $29,000, meaning half the wage earners  make less and half make more. If you make $29,000 a year, and don’t spend a single penny of it, it will still take you 34,482 years to save a billion dollars.

One Billion Dollars
One Billion Dollars

 

Now you are probably having trouble visualizing what it would be like to wait 34,482 years – if you are, it’s over 400 lifetimes!

Put another way, their combined waste of money could provide almost 150,000 surgical procedures, or more than 500 million meals for the poor and homeless, either of them money a lot better spent.

homeless in winter
homeless in winter

 

That anyone, Obama, Romney or A. N. Other can squander this amount of money for no return other than to aggrandize themselves with the title of President shows a deal of contempt for the ordinary people of the country, particularly those who are presently struggling to survive thanks to the financial mismanagement that these same politicians have presided over.

You can be sure that whoever gets into the big seat in the White House he will drown us in hypocrisy. We will get lectures about sacrifice and austerity measures, how deficits need to be cut, how taxes need to be raised, how you will have to tighten your belt for the sake of the country (whether you can still afford a belt or not) and so forth. Where was the belt tightening during the election campaign, boyz???

Rat Cartoon

 

Of course, we are told that the bulk of the money in the politicians’ war chests is made up of the small $5, $10, $25 or $50 donated by ordinary folks. That may be true. But there are two types of dollars donated for election campaigns – ‘gifted’ dollars and ‘investment’ dollars. Most of the dollars donated by big corporations, super rich individuals and bankers fall into the latter category. Those people will be expecting, and will get, a return on that ‘investment’.

political graft

Thus the system – which is now so corrupt that rich executives ride roughshod over the law at will, and without fear of being punished no matter who is president – will remain largely as is.

This is a recipe for disaster. If history has taught us nothing else, it has taught us that a nation, caught between a broken political system and a populist movement of those who feel increasingly disenfranchised and undervalued, will at some stage experience rebellion against that corruption.

If you think not, think again. In fact, think tea parties in Boston and how and why the United States came into being in the first place.

Boston tea party cartoon

 

Of course the solution to this particular obscenity is quick and easy. Put a ceiling on the amount of money a politician can legally collect and spend on his campaign. That would create a level playing field for all. Rich or poor, large party or small party, would have an equal chance of marketing their wears.

The only problem is that it is the same politicians who will have to make that law, and last reports still say that turkeys are very reluctant to vote for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Thanksgiving Turkey eat beef campaign

 

So that gets us to the second question in the title of this post, namely “Who is responsible?” In fact it is a two-fold question.

Are the politicians responsible because they lie to the people and promise one thing before an election and do another afterwards?

Or are the people responsible because they know fine well that the politicians are lying to them and won’t deliver on their promises, but still go out and vote for them anyway?

Let’s phrase these two questions another way.

Are the politicians responsible because they know that if they did not lie, not enough people would vote for them?

Or are the people responsible because they don’t really want to hear the hard truth and would not vote for a politician who told it how it is?

 

Everyone has to answer that dilemma themselves. Personally I wouldn’t vote for someone I know is lying to me, no matter what party they belonged to.

 

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Another Twenty Questions For Tuesday

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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You may discover the true meaning of life in today’s post (naw, okay, you probably won’t). Nevertheless here is a selection of questions that needed asking but that no one ever asks – until now, that is.

Enjoy.

 

 

Why do people say ‘the sky is the limit’ when there are footprints on the moon?

 

If a lawyer says to the judge “I’m Lying”, is he telling the truth?

 

Why do we call it ‘after dark’ when it’s really ‘after light’?

 

Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced ‘onety-one’?

 

What if the Hokey Pokey REALLY IS what it’s all about?

 

Why is there only 12 hours on a clock?

 

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

 

How long is a piece of string?

 

Can animals commit suicide?

 

Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don’t lay eggs!

 

Did London Bridge ever fall down?

 

Is it possible to be allergic to water?

 

Why do super-heroes wear their underwear on the outside of their clothes?

 

Why are women and men’s shoe sizes different?

 

What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?

 

How do you make seven even?

 

Why do they call it a ‘Television Set’ when there’s only one?

 

How fast do you need to cook for it to be considered ‘Fast Food’?

 

Where does the ‘o’ come from when we abbreviate the word ‘number’?

 

Why do they imply the ‘birds and the bees’ get up to something together?

 

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