“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Some more newspaper headlines today.
It’s quite amazing the capacity people have to get things wrong.
Worse if the result is on view to the general public.
Here is the latest batch.
Enjoy.
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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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A few more bad jokes wrapped up as puns. I am slightly amazed, but also pleased, that the puns have been received so well by most readers. So it wasn’t only me!
Enjoy.
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Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn’t know how to conduct itself.
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When the cannibal showed up late to the luncheon, they gave him the cold shoulder.
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The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.
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The one who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize.
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Greengrocers earn a meager celery, come home beet and just want to read the pepper, take a leek, turnip the covers endive into bed.
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A noun and a verb were dating but they broke up because the noun was too possessive.
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I didn’t want to buy leather shoes, but eventually I was suede.
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For plumbers, a flush beats a full house.
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A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
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I just got my permit to harvest shrimp in the Antarctic. Now I have a licence to Krill.
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I don’t think I need a spine. It’s holding me back.
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What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re so pointless.
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Old colanders never die, they just can’t take the strain anymore.
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I probably have blind spots, but I don’t see them.
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After winter, the trees are relieved.
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Calves take well to bottle feeding because one nipple is as good as an udder.
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The shareholders of a compass manufacturer were concerned that the company wasn’t heading in the right direction.
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I’m bad at math, so the equation 2n+2n is 4n to me.
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The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.
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The proctologist reassured the patient that his condition could be rectified.
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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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What better way to begin November than with another selection of those jokes that we just love to hate?
Okay,okay, I’m sure there are a lot better ways, but these will have to do for now.
Enjoy!
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I used to do rock climbing as a youth, but I was much boulder back then.
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He said I was average – but I thought he was just being mean.
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It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
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When the cannibal showed up late to the luncheon, they gave him the cold shoulder.
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What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?
A tire.
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I should have been sad when my flashlight batteries died, but I was delighted.
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I get my large circumference from too much pi.
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Alcohol and calculus don’t mix so don’t drink and derive.
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It’s better to love a short girl than not a tall.
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Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring.
The doctor says I’m OK, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
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When the TV repairman got married the reception was excellent.
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A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for littering.
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Is a cardboard belt just a waist of paper?
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A friend told me he dug a hole in my backyard and filled it with water.
I thought he meant well.
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The little old woman who lived in a shoe wasn’t the sole owner
– there were strings attached.
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Math teachers have lots of problems.
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I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn’t help me.
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For a while, Houdini used a lot of trap doors in his act,
but he was just going through a stage.
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He didn’t tell his mother that he ate some glue.
His lips were sealed.
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It’s a fact, taller people sleep longer in bed.
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fasab 