Sorry Elvis, You May As Well Come Back Home!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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We all know politicians and their bureaucratic lap dogs are stupid. We also know that they fanny around trying to find ways to steal more of our money and then waste it on laws and other interference we neither want nor need.

But sometimes their efforts are just staggeringly unnecessary and stupid.

Did you know, for example, that the morons in the US Congress wasted time, money, energy, not to mention paper and ink, discussing and clarifying that any income earned by U.S. residents while in space would be subject to U.S. taxes!

residents while in space would be subject to U.S. taxes

During the Apollo missions we already witnessed the nonsensical spectacle of national heroes like Neil Armstrong having to be processed through US Customs and Immigration when they returned from the Moon. Talk about bureaucratic jobsworth claptrap!

Now the idiots in Congress have declared that colonists on Mars, of whom there are currently, and for the foreseeable future, none, zero and nil, will be taxed on the income they earn while en route to, and living on, the Red Planet. I suppose to continue the madness, the US authorities will try to make the Martians themselves  –  if we find any  –  subject to US taxes too!

It’s enough to make you get your antennae in a tangle!

It’s all because the US government is broke and because it wants to have total control over its citizens (not the uber rich ones, of course, they can do whatever they want). Unlike most countries, the United States uses a ‘worldwide’ system of taxation, under which it taxes all income earned by U.S. citizens and residents, regardless of where it is earned.

The arrogance of a ‘worldwide’ catchment is apparently not enough, now America thinks it must have a ‘pan-galactic’ tax system.

tax burden

At seven times the size of the humongous novel ‘War and Peace’, and at around four million words and counting, the US Tax Code is already monstrously over-sized, but with the whole Universe to cater for it’s only going to get bigger and more complicated. For example, I foresee vast sections trying to explain how to cater for an Earth year of 365 days being factored into a Martian year of 687 days.

Make that getting your antennae in a knot rather than just a tangle.

But no doubt the bureaucrats back on Earth are already salivating at the prospect of drafting even more crap.

As for those with Martian ambitions?

Sorry Elvis, you might as well come back home. We miss you!

Elvis on Mars

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Nowhere Is Safe!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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One would hope that libraries, being depositories of knowledge, would be a place relatively safe from the intellectually challenged.

Sadly, stupid people invade every space, libraries included.

To prove the point here is a short selection of actual stupid questions asked of librarians. 

Enjoy.

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“Do you have books here?”

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“Do you have a list of all the books written in the English language?”

library cartoon

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“Do you have a list of all the books I’ve ever read?”

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“I’m looking for Robert James Waller’s book, ‘Waltzing through Grand Rapids.”

(The actual title is “Slow Waltz In Cedar Bend.”)

library2 cartoon

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“Where is the reference desk?”

(Asked of a worker sitting at a desk, over which was a sign saying ‘REFERENCE DESK’.)

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“Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park sites?”

library3 cartoon

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“Which outlets in the library are appropriate for my hairdryer?”

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“I was here about three weeks ago looking at a cookbook that cost $39.95. Do you know which one it is?”

library4 cartoon

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“I need a color photograph of George Washington.”

(Other individuals asked for, by other patrons, are Christopher Columbus, King Arthur, Moses, Socrates, and more.)

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“Do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs?”

library5 cartoon

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“I’m looking for information on carpal tunnel syndrome. I think I’m having trouble with it in my neck.”

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“Is the basement upstairs?”

library6 cartoon

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“I am looking for a list of laws that I can break that would send me back to jail for a couple of months.”

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“I got a quote from a book I turned in last week but I forgot to write down the author and title. It’s big and red, and I found it on the top shelf. Can you find it for me?”

library7 cartoon

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“Do you have anything good to read?”

The response was,

“No, ma’am. I’m afraid we have 75,000 books, and they’re all duds.”

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Dumbass: “I am looking for a globe of the earth.”

Librarian: “We have a table-top model over here.” 

Dumbass: “No, that’s not good enough. Don’t you have a life-size?”

Librarian: (pause) “Yes, but it’s in use right now.”

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And finally a joke.

 

Man goes up to the library reference desk and asks the assistant,

“Do you have a copy of that new book for men with small penises?”

The librarian replies,

“I don’t think it’s in yet.”

“Yes,” the man says. “That’s the one!”

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