A Few Friday Funnies.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Last week we had a few political jokes.

This week we are having a look at some of the things political jokes have said when they were trying (in vain) to sound smart.

Try to forget that these are the idiots who are running the country and instead….

Enjoy .

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“This is a great day for France!”

President Richard Nixon at

French President Charles de Gaulle’s funeral.

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Senator John McCain in his presidential run:

“I was in Germany over the weekend and

President Putin of Germany gave

one of the old Cold War speeches as

he addressed the conference there.”

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Alaska Gov. Walter Hickel once justified a

plan to kill hundreds of wolves by saying,

“You just can’t let nature run wild.”

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“Desert Storm was a stirring victory for

the forces of aggression and lawlessness.”

Vice President Dan Quayle

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“We will not close any bases that are not needed.”

Les Aspin, secretary of defense

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“I would never approach a small-breasted woman.”

President Clinton, denying that he

had sexually harassed Kathleen Willey.

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“I am working for the time when unqualified

blacks, browns and women join the unqualified

men in running the government.”

Frances “Sissy” Farenthold, Texas state representative

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“This isn’t rocket science here.”

Tom Daschle, U.S. senator from South Dakota,

denouncing spending on space-based missile defense

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”We need to uptick our image with everyone,

including one-armed midgets.”

Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele

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“Grown men should not be having sex with

prostitutes unless they are married to them.”

Jerry Falwell

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“Trees cause more pollution than automobiles.”

Ronald Reagan

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“You can always follow me on Tweeter.”

Rick Perry

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“Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful.

But there isn’t even one study

that can be produced that shows

that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.”

Rep. Michele Bachmann

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“But obviously, we’ve got to stand

with our North Korean allies.”

Sarah Palin

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“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment.

It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”

Al Gore, Vice President

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Stupidity Always Finds A Way – Out Of A Politician’s Mouth!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I have a healthy contempt for politicians and bureaucrats as you’ve probably gathered if you’ve read much of this blog. And it’s well justified.

I could relate some stories to emphasize my point, but actually I don’t have to. The politicians themselves have proved it themselves. Here’s a short selection to show you what I mean.

Enjoy

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Hillary Clinton:

“We are the president.”

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Al Gore, former U.S. Vice President:

“I invented the internet.”

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Bob Dole, former Republican United States Senate Majority Leader from Kansas:

“Life is very important to Americans.”

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President Richard Nixon at French President Charles de Gaulle’s funeral:

“This is a great day for France!”

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Barack Obama at a campaign event in Beaverton, Oregon:

“I’ve now been in 57 states – I think one left to go.”

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Alaska Gov. Walter Hickel once justified a plan to kill hundreds of wolves by saying:

“You just can’t let nature run wild.”

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Strom Thurmond, U.S. senator from South Carolina:

“The U.S. Senate is a special place. I love all of you and especially your wives.”

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Vice President Dan Quayle:

“Desert Storm was a stirring victory for the forces of aggression and lawlessness.”

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California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger:

“I don’t understand how they can call me anti-Latino when I’ve made four movies in Mexico.”

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Frances “Sissy” Farenthold, Texas state representative:

“I am working for the time when unqualified blacks, browns and women join the unqualified men in running the government.”

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Miriam “Ma” Ferguson, Texas governor:

“If the King’s English was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me.”

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Tom Daschle, U.S. senator from South Dakota, denouncing spending on space-based missile defense:

“This isn’t rocket science here.”

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Larry Koon, South Carolina state representative:

“Women are best suited for secretarial work, decorating cakes and counter sales, like selling lingerie.”

Mr Koon’s face has been removed from this post for his own safety in light of these remarks

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Jay Dickey Jr., U.S. representative from Arkansas:

“I think incest can be handled as a family matter within the family.”

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Jerry Brown, former Governor of California:

“We’re going to move left and right at the same time.”

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Excerpt from Bill Clinton’s grand jury testimony:

“It depends on what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is” –

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