Midgets Understand Everyone.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Just a small pun in the title to introduce you to this week’s selection of word plays, or puns.

As always….

Enjoy or endure!!

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rofl

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A problem shared

is a problem laughed at.

A problem shared is a problem laughed at

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A lot of people say I am egocentric

– but enough about them

egocentric

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I was named after my father.

I don’t really like the name ‘Dad’ though.

dad

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Three out of four people

make up 75% of the population.

75 percent

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Oh how times have changed.

I used to spend my nights out ogling women.

Now I spend my nights in googling them.

googling

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My friend asked me to

walk down a hill with him.

So I declined.

walk down a hill

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I finally went to the doctor this morning

after years of my knees giving way

whenever I’m in a slow moving queue.

It’s a longstanding problem.

longstanding problem

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What do you call

a Scottish landowner?

Hectare.

Scottish landowner

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Don’t tell anyone I told you this,

but people say that I gossip far too much.

gossip far too much

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My wife has packed her bags and gone

– just because of my fetish with touching pasta.

I’m feeling cannelloni right now.

cannelloni

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It’s hard being a member

of the innuendo society.

the innuendo society mug

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One of the toddlers on the

Intensive Care Unit is playing

with a toy donkey.

ICU baby, shaking that ass.

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Can You Answer Any Of These Conundrums? Or Should That Be Conundra??

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Well if you can answer the question in the title of this post then you’re off to a good start. I know what my speel chekkar says, and I think that it is wrong.

Which brings me to another short semi-rant in the form of a question. Why does the WordPress speel chekkar keep highlighting the word “wordpress” as being spelled incorrectly?

Think on that as you tackle the rest of today’s (cue the wavy red line)  conundra!

Enjoy.

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If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

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When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

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If blind people wear dark glasses, why don’t deaf people wear earmuffs?

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If corn can’t hear, why does it have an ear?

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If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?

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If everything is part of a whole, what is the whole part of?

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If humans get a charley horse, what do horses get?

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If I save time, when do I get it back?

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If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes?

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If our knees were on the backs of our legs, what would chairs look like?

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If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

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If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

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If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?

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If you didn’t get caught, did you really do it?

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Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

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If a mute child swears, does his mother wash his hands?

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