A Few Friday Funnies.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


Last week we had a few political jokes.

This week we are having a look at some of the things political jokes have said when they were trying (in vain) to sound smart.

Try to forget that these are the idiots who are running the country and instead….

Enjoy .


President Richard Nixon

“This is a great day for France!”

President Richard Nixon at

French President Charles de Gaulle’s funeral.



Senator John McCain

Senator John McCain in his presidential run:

“I was in Germany over the weekend and

President Putin of Germany gave

one of the old Cold War speeches as

he addressed the conference there.”


Alaska Gov. Walter Hickel once justified a

plan to kill hundreds of wolves by saying,

“You just can’t let nature run wild.”


“Desert Storm was a stirring victory for

the forces of aggression and lawlessness.”

Vice President Dan Quayle

Les Aspin, secretary of defense

“We will not close any bases that are not needed.”

Les Aspin, secretary of defense

President Clinton

“I would never approach a small-breasted woman.”

President Clinton, denying that he

had sexually harassed Kathleen Willey.


Frances Sissy Farenthold

“I am working for the time when unqualified

blacks, browns and women join the unqualified

men in running the government.”

Frances “Sissy” Farenthold, Texas state representative



Tom Daschle

“This isn’t rocket science here.”

Tom Daschle, U.S. senator from South Dakota,

denouncing spending on space-based missile defense



michael steele

”We need to uptick our image with everyone,

including one-armed midgets.”

Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele



Jerry Falwell

“Grown men should not be having sex with

prostitutes unless they are married to them.”

Jerry Falwell



Ronald Reagan

“Trees cause more pollution than automobiles.”

Ronald Reagan



Rick Perry

“You can always follow me on Tweeter.”

Rick Perry



Michele Bachmann

“Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful.

But there isn’t even one study

that can be produced that shows

that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.”

Rep. Michele Bachmann



Sarah Palin

“But obviously, we’ve got to stand

with our North Korean allies.”

Sarah Palin




“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment.

It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”

Al Gore, Vice President




Don’t Take My Word For It, Let These Guys Tell You Themselves

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


The elections are over, much to the relief of many of us, but unfortunately the politicians are still there. I have frequently criticized these idiots for making a monumental mess of things and for squandering billions of dollars on the most insanely stupid debacles and catastrophes. And I will probably do so again. 

However, it is always a good idea or policy to be able to back up what you say with some facts, so rather than run to my own defense which is usually what happens, this time I am going to let some of the politicians prove beyond any and all reasonable doubt that my opinion of them is well justified.

So here we have a selection of quotations from some fairly famous politicians in which they condemn themselves to the dustbin of stupidity.




Bill Clinton, 42nd President of the United States:

“Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that.”

Bill Clinton 

This from a congressional candidate in Texas:

“That scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I’m just the one to do it.”


Arnold Schwarzenegger, Governor of California Governor talking about his views on the economy:

“The public doesn’t care about figures.”

Arnold Schwarzenegger speaking as governor 

Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons:

“I do not like this word ‘bomb.’ It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding.”

Jacques LeBlanc 

Aggie Pate, at a non-denominational mayor’s breakfast, Fort Worth, Texas:

“I didn’t know Onward Christian Soldiers was a Christian song.”


California Senator Barbara Boxer:

“Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, ‘Thank God, I’m still alive.’ But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again.”

Barbara Boxer 

Ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia, Frank Rizzo:

“The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It’s only the people who make them unsafe.”

Frank Rizzo 

Congressman Everett Dirksen:

“A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money.”

Everett Dirksen 

Former U.S. President, Richard Nixon:

“Solutions are not the answer.”

Richard M Nixon 

H. Ross Perot, major Texas businessman and former presidential candidate:

“This planet is our home. If we destroy the planet, we’ve destroyed our home, so it is fundamentally important.”

 Ross Perot making a point

Arizona Governor Wesley Bolin:

“We’d like to avoid problems, because when we have problems, we can have troubles.”

Wesley Bolin 

George Wallace 1968 presidential campaign:

“I’ve read about foreign policy and studied, I now know the number of continents.”

George Wallace 

Dwight Eisenhower, 34th President of the United States:

“The world is more like it is now then it ever has before.”

Dwight D Eisenhower 

Fred Heineman, former Republican representative from North Carolina:

“When I see someone who is making anywhere from $300,000 to $750,000 a year, that’s middle class.”

Fred Heineman 

Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chrétien:

“A proof is a proof. What kind of proof? It’s a proof. A proof is proof. And when you have a good proof, it’s because it is proven.”

Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chrétien

Imelda Marcos, former First Lady and a political figure in the Philippines:

“I get so tired listening to one million dollars here, one million dollars there, it’s so petty.”

Imelda Marcos 

Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate:

“The internet is a great way to get on the net.”

Bob Dole 


Al Gore, former U.S. vice president:

“We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur.”

Al Gore 


Former California Governor Gray Davis, during the recall campaign:

“My vision is to make the most diverse state on earth, and we have people from every planet on the earth in this state. We have the sons and daughters of every, of people from every planet, of every country on earth.”

Former California Governor Gray Davis 

Charles De Gaulle, former French President:

“China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese.”

Charles De Gaulle 

President Clinton, denying that he had sexually harassed Kathleen Willey:

“I would never approach a small-breasted woman.”

Monica Lewinsky