Cashiers Are Always Checking Me Out.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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And now it’s time for you to check out this week’s selection of word plays.

Yes, it’s Pun Day.

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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If you believe binoculars are overrated

then look no further.

binoculars

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I hate it when I run out of Staples.

So do their security guards. 

Staples

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Dying cats pink, what’s next?

A Navy Seal?

pink-cat

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I spent most of last night in jail.

Try as I might, I just couldn’t roll a double.

go-to-jail-monopoly

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I missed my bus this morning.

I really shouldn’t get so sentimental about public transport.

Public Transport - Bus

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I’ve been asked out by a number of sexy women this week.

That number is sadly zero.

zero

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A young man called directory assistance.

“Hello, operator, I would like the telephone number

for Mary Jones in Phoenix, Arizona.”

“There are multiple listings for Mary Jones in Phoenix,”

the operator replied. “Do you have a street name?”

The young man hesitated, and then said,

“Well, most people call me E Z.” 

Best-Street-Name-af

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When James Bond is out of his home country

of England, is he known as +44 07?

shoe_phone

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I saw a sign in a shop- ‘Mosquito nets £10’

I didn’t even know bugs could play the lottery.

Mosquito nets

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I told my mate that, in order to get laid,

I’d promised my girlfriend that

I’d marry her in the summer.

He said, “July?”

I said, “Of course I did.”

red-white-blue-july-1

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I once went out with a girl with

fiery red hair and a pale thin body.

I met her on Match.com

Match.com_logo

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I fell asleep whilst rafting the other day.

I just drifted off.

rafting

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My wife has rather annoyingly replaced all

the lightbulbs in the house with energy efficient ones.

I’ll never see her in the same light again.

energy efficient light bulbs

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It was my anniversary last week.

My girlfriend asked me if I wanted

oral sex or a new pair of shoes…

I went head over heels. 

head over heels

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I’ve just watched a fantastic

movie with a twist at the end…

Oliver.

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Back To Normal Quiz

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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After a couple of festive mega quizzes it’s back to normal this week with a standard sized offering to test your knowledge.

As usual the answers can be found waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but NO cheating please!

Enjoy.

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quiz 06

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Q.  1:  What was Walt Disney’s Middle name?

           a) Ewart   b) Elias   c) Elliot    d) Ernest

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Q.  2:  Which was the first state in America to pass a law which required vehicle occupants to wear seat belts, and what year did that law that come into effect? (A point for each part.)

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Q.  3:  In which year did seat belts become compulsory in Great Britain?

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Q.  4:  In Germany what is a ‘kaufhaus’?

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Q.  5:  Which country has the longest land border with Russia?

           a) Mongolia        b) Kazakhstan        c) China

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Q.  6:  ‘Hogmanay’ is another name for which day of the year?

            a) New Year’s Day        b) New Year’s Eve        c) Christmas Day

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Q.  7:  Camp David, the country retreat of US Presidents, is in which state?

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Q.  8:  The name of which Mexican snack food literally means ‘little cheese thing’?

           a) quesadilla        b) burrito        c) enchilada

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Q.  9:  Absolute government by one person called what?

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Q. 10:  The Egyptian god Anubis had the head of what animal?

            a) Jackal        b) Lion        c) Crocodile

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Q. 11:  What was the first fully computer-generated feature length movie made by Pixar?

            a) Monsters Inc        b) A Bug’s Life        c) Toy Story

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Q. 12:  Which Canadian city hosts the ‘Just For Laughs’ comedy festival every July?

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Q. 13:  Who was the Roman equivalent of the Greek god Zeus?

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Q. 14:  The US TV series ‘The Office’ was set in which Pennsylvanian city?

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Q. 15:  What is measured on the Rankine scale?

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Q. 16:  Who composed the opera ‘Cosi fan tutte’?

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Q. 17:  What is the profession of Bill Murray’s character in ‘Groundhog Day’?

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Q. 18:  ‘Mariculture’ is the cultivation of the animals and plants of which environment?

            a) Desert        b) Forest        c) Sea

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Q. 19:  Writers from which country have won the Nobel Prize for Literature most often?

            a) America        b) Sweden        c) France        d) England

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Q. 20:  What car is the prize possession of Clint Eastwood’s movie character ‘Walt Kowalski’?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  What was Walt Disney’s Middle name?

           a) Ewart   b) Elias   c) Elliot    d) Ernest

A.  1:  b) Elias.

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Q.  2:  Which was the first state in America to pass a law which required vehicle occupants to wear seat belts, and what year did that law that come into effect? (A point for each part.)

A.  2:  New York in 1984 (December 1 to be precise).

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Q.  3:  In which year did seat belts become compulsory in Great Britain?

A.  3:  1983.

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Q.  4:  In Germany what is a ‘kaufhaus’?

A.  4:  A department store.

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Q.  5:  Which country has the longest land border with Russia?

           a) Mongolia        b) Kazakhstan        c) China

A.  5:  b) Kazakhstan.

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Q.  6:  ‘Hogmanay’ is another name for which day of the year?

            a) New Year’s Day        b) New Year’s Eve        c) Christmas Day

A.  6:  Hogmanay is celebrated on b) New Year’s Eve.

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Q.  7:  Camp David, the country retreat of US Presidents, is in which state?

A.  7:  Maryland.

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Q.  8:  The name of which Mexican snack food literally means ‘little cheese thing’?

           a) quesadilla        b) burrito        c) enchilada

A.  8:  a) quesadilla.

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Q.  9:  Absolute government by one person called what?

A.  9:  Autocracy.

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Q. 10:  The Egyptian god Anubis had the head of what animal?

            a) Jackal        b) Lion        c) Crocodile

A. 10:  a) Jackal.

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Q. 11:  What was the first fully computer-generated feature length movie made by Pixar?

            a) Monsters Inc        b) A Bug’s Life        c) Toy Story

A. 11:  c) Toy Story.

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Q. 12:  Which Canadian city hosts the ‘Just For Laughs’ comedy festival every July?

A. 12:  Montreal.

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Q. 13:  Who was the Roman equivalent of the Greek god Zeus?

A. 13:  Jupiter.

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Q. 14:  The US TV series ‘The Office’ was set in which Pennsylvanian city?

A. 14:  Scranton.

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Q. 15:  What is measured on the Rankine scale?

A. 15:  The Rankine scale measures temperature.

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Q. 16:  Who composed the opera ‘Cosi fan tutte’?

A. 16:  Mozart.

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Q. 17:  What is the profession of Bill Murray’s character in ‘Groundhog Day’?

A. 17:  He plays the part of a TV weatherman.

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Q. 18:  ‘Mariculture’ is the cultivation of the animals and plants of which environment?

            a) Desert        b) Forest        c) Sea

A. 18:  c) Sea.

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Q. 19:  Writers from which country have won the Nobel Prize for Literature most often?

            a) America        b) Sweden        c) France        d) England

A. 19:  c) France.

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Q. 20:  What car is the prize possession of Clint Eastwood’s movie character ‘Walt Kowalski’?

A. 20:  Gran Torino

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