The Bungling Burglar Who Lost His Way, And Then Lost His Mind

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


In 1982 in Bel Air, Los Angeles, an ambitious burglar broke into one of the vast mansions on millionaire’s row.

This palatial structure was a veritable gold-mine of treasures and he immediately started to fill his sack with loot.

It all started off so well
It all started off so well

He went through the ballroom and into the hall.

Then down the escalators to the single lane swimming arbour.

Up to the library.

Across the dining room, and out of the annex into the conservatory which contained sixty-three varieties of tropical plants and a cage-full of sulphur crested parrots.

After all that he decided that now was the time to make a quick exit with his ill-gotten gains.  

He went back through the dining room.

Then up to the gymnasium and across the indoor tennis court.

Down a spiral staircase to an enclosed patio with synchronized fountains.

Out to the cocktail lounge and through junior’s sound-proofed drum studio, whereupon he found himself back into the room full of increasingly excited parrots that normally saw nobody from one day to the next.

Panicking slightly, he ran back towards the library and through swing doors into a gallery containing the early works of Jackson Pollock.

Then out through the kitchen, across a jacuzzi enclosure and up two flights of stairs.

Hysterical Burglar
Hysterical Burglar

At this point he became hysterical, ran outside along the balcony, around the circular corridors, up more stairs, down the landing into the master bedroom and woke up the owners to ask them how to get out.

In order to spare him further distress, they arranged for a local policeman to escort him from the premises.

Help is at hand
Help is at hand

I think he spent the next few years also in another big building, but one with much smaller rooms.