“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Yeah, Stonehenge rocks!
So does Pun Day!!
As always….
Enjoy or endure!!!
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Deaf people are lip reading as we speak.
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In school, my teacher asked me if I
had any of my own maths equipment.
“I have a broken abacus,” I replied.
She said, “That doesn’t count.”
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I’m a puppeteer –
I had to pull a lot of strings to get the job.
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My friend happily announced recently that,
after 18 months of hard work and determination,
he had lost over 130 pounds of unhealthy useless fat.
He divorced her.
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Want to pull a Jewish girl?
Just show them some interest.
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A woman walks up to a handsome man
in a nightclub and shouts, “Fat penguin!”
“Pardon?” he says, looking bemused.
“Sorry,” she replies. “I was just trying to
think of something that would break the ice.”
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Being unemployed definitely has its benefits.
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I always get chutney and pickle mixed up.
It makes me chuckle.
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My mate asked if I wanted to
play electric shock monopoly.
I jumped at the chance.
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Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring.
The doctor says I’m OK,
but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
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My mum always said, “
Never use two words when one will do.”
Why didn’t she just say,
“Avoid verbosity”?
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I love blondes, but I was gutted to come
home from work to find my girlfriend
had dyed her hair brunette.
It’s just not fair.
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Protesters at the recent G20 conference
were holding up huge signs saying
‘Capitalism Isn’t Working’.
A friend of mine turned to me and said,
“Surely that’s wrong.
Surely ‘Capitalism Is Working’.”
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My English teacher told me that it’s impossible
to take two completely different words out of context
and use them to create a coherent sentence.
Wheel sea.
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Friends of my wife and I, recently bought a farm,
and decided to invite us to a House warming party.
I asked my wife, “What shall we get them for a present?”
“How about this long length of rope with bucket attached?” she replied.
“Yes,” I agreed. “I am sure that will go down well.”
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fasab 